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I quickly realized that the romance and sweet talk were a thing of the past. I asked my husband (let's call him Joe) why he didn't do those nice things anymore. Joe's response? "Because I've got you now." He then laid out his theory that men only to those things to "get" women and that once you are married you are no longer required to make that kind of effort. I didn't pay attention to the implied ownership of his statement - I was more incensed that he thought all effort on his part ended with "I do", buy DIAZEPAM from canada. Ordering DIAZEPAM online, I was working hard to keep my marriage together. I was a child of divorce and there was no way I was making the same mistakes my parents did. I felt like I was the only one making efforts but this is my story and therefore inherently unfair in its telling. Time passed as it is apt to do. Listening to myself talk one day, I realized that I often said "I love him but...". 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I was participating in the very cycle I had spent 6 years educating everyone in my community about, DIAZEPAM description. DIAZEPAM brand name, I asked him to go to counseling with me. He told me I was crazy - there wasn't anything wrong. On our 2nd anniversary, I asked him for a divorce. He again brushed me off and told me everything was fine. A few weeks later, DIAZEPAM no prescription, Buy DIAZEPAM online cod, his belligerent attitude resulted in him losing his job. I didn't want to kick him while he was down so I decided to wait until he found a job to divorce him. I knew I couldn't fix things myself. If he wouldn't even acknowledge there was a problem then ending our marriage was the only way to regain my sanity, the only way to reclaim the little pieces of myself I had lost. The cycle continued. Months went by with him not getting a job, DIAZEPAM without prescription. 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When I tried to go to bed, he would sit on the edge of the bed and question me for hours about why our marriage failed and why I was seeing these imaginary men. He wouldn't allow me to go to sleep at night. He wouldn't allow me to work during the day. I felt like a prisoner of war being tortured. I lost my job because I was an exhausted basket case and missed an important deadline, DIAZEPAM steet value. DIAZEPAM FOR SALE, We were living in this tension filled house. He was not working and refusing to follow through with the divorce he filed. I was working and trying to hold things together financially. Months passed and I began hanging out with my girl friends again. (My BFF had distanced herself because she hated to see how Joe treated me.) I started to enjoy life again, to feel lighter, to feel like me for the first time in years, as long as I wasn't in that tension filled house. He saw it. He saw that light returning to my eyes. He saw his last bit of control over me fall away. It was the perfect storm. DIAZEPAM pharmacy, I was in denial about where things were heading. Joe hid my car keys several times so that I couldn't leave. He had taken the phone batteries out and thrown them in the woods so that I couldn't call anyone. (We lived in the country so these things isolated me.) He had grabbed my arm and flung me to the floor one afternoon when I was leaving without telling him where I was going. As I had often dismissed his verbal abuse, I didn't see this as the item I stressed when educating others (danger is highest just after the woman leaves because the abuser sees himself losing control and becomes desperate to regain it). I didn't believe he was truly dangerous. I still remembered the sweet man I dated - he wouldn't hurt anyone, DIAZEPAM for sale. Where can i buy cheapest DIAZEPAM online, Then one night, I found myself, huddled in the corner of my bathroom with a gun pressed to my head, thinking to myself "I used to sit on the other side of the desk listening in quiet horror to stories just like this. How did I end up here?" He told me the only reason he didn't pull the trigger was because everyone would know it was him and he would never get a job.
I let him have sex with me that night. I can't call it rape because I did nothing to stop it. I didn't even try to say no. I just cried until it was over. I was just thankful to be alive and hoping to make it to the morning so that I could get out of there. I saw him only once after that night - and we weren't alone together. With the support of friends and family, I have moved on to have a truly wonderful life. I will never again allow someone to make me a victim.
I am strong. I am smart. I am a force to be reckoned with. And I learn from my mistakes.
Michelle writes at Michelle Smiles.
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Kelley writes at www.amonkeyslife.wordpress.com.
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