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Thank you for visiting Violence UnSilenced, a speak-out platform for survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. If you are a survivor and it is safe to do so, we encourage you to share your story here. If you are not a survivor but you want to support those who are, please click around this site and find out more about what you can do.
I'm sure you already are a positive influence for the steps you have taken, for the message you are sharing and for holding your head up in the face of such tremendous challenges.
You left and didn't go back. That is a tough thing to do and is a choice we share. I've been out for almost a year and a half. The thought of going back was strong in the beginning weeks, but waned over time. Now I know I will never ever ever return to a relationship that incorporates abuse. It sickens me to think of all the nastiness I endured because "I loved him".
You did the best thing for your children. The only thing I would change in my situation is that I would have left when my children were much younger.
I'm so proud of you. You did what you had to for the best life for you and your children. The right decisions are most often the hardest to make.
I got out of an abusive relationship thanks to information I found on the Internet and I am so glad sites like this one exist.
The other thing that really helped was, meeting an old school friend of my X. I don't think he had any idea what she had surmised about him, or he would never have suggested we meet.
Anyway, she had a couple of questions about what he was like now, and in response to what I said, she got a really concerned expression on her face. I said, you don't think this is a good idea, do you, and she just said, I haven't seen him in a long time but I have some concerns.
I broke up with him and he stalked me. Because of that I didn't contact her again, since it might mean I could be perceived as stalking *his* friends. But I want to write her a thank you letter to this day.
That is wonderful... best of luck to you as you continue to grow into the beautiful life you deserve. And now you're here... inspiring the next person to make a change for the better. Thanks so much for sharing your strength.
You are already a Positive Influence to anyone whom reads your story. From a former child of abusive parents, Thank you for loving your children enough to save them from seeing their mom beat up, belittled and made to feel so small. Start the new chapter in your book of life and know that you are enough for your children. You can provide them with good role models, male and female, just by giving them the life they deserve. Love and hugs to YOU!!!! And please know that you have a cheering squad for the days when things are tough and those clouds move in. Just keep reading the stories on this site and know that you reached out and touched all of us on this site with your story of bravery.
K.B - Yes to all of it. He was supervised for a year, 'completed' an anger management class. Now we are on the ramp up from 6 hours at a time to Friday night to Sunday night on his weekends late next year. I can tell no difference in his behavior or attitude after the anger management class. He still does not understand what is emotionally or verbally abusive. He told me last week in a phone conversation 'there must be something wrong with your brain' - I'm pretty sure the kids heard it. When I confronted him, he defended himself and insisted there really was something wrong with my brain and later that I was "the worst mistake he ever made" and "I only married you because I felt sorry for you". Nice, huh.
I'm very proud of you and happy for you and your kids! Reading this was like reading my very own story. Question: Did you ever feel like you didn't want him to see the kids afterward unsupervised? Did you have to work up to him seeing the kids without you? Does he go to therapy now for anger management?
I'm worried about my ex seeing the kids (2 years old and 4 years old) by himself because I just know the verbal and emotional abuse will continue.
very proud of u cause not alot of wemen have the strengh that u have we need persons like to give us courage ,wemen tend to stick around and wait for men ,to change for the kids to havetheir father around but things dont turn out that way good for u!!!!!! god bless!!!!!!
Good for you! You have given your kids a wonderful gift by standing up for yourself and them. Abuse is not okay. Ever. And you don't have to put up with it anymore.
You are amazing. Your kids will grow up seeing how strong you were in leaving and how strong you'll always be because of the decision you made to stand up against the violence.
I wish you much peace and happiness, now and in the future.
We are proud for the privilege of being here for you when you needed strength and support to make the right decision for yourself and your children.
Your story is one of overcoming abuse. Your story is one of refusing to be mistreated and disrespected. Your story is one of hope.
Thank you for making a brave and strong decision. You inspire others who look for validation as you once did.
Wishing you safety, security, peace and real love in your life.
Proud of your courage! Leaving is hard and scary - but staying is worse. You took a huge step to make sure you and your children are safe. Congrats! And good luck in the future - stay strong.
You are absolutely a hero ... You are your children's champion. And a winner, I admire you so very much and my heart is so moved by your journey. I feared and fretted for you and even still you and the kids remain in my prayers daily.
God bless all those who shared on this blessed web site to move you toward the will to do what you must. Your dad and I are very proud of you, looking forward to seeing you and the kids this summer! Lisa K
Congratulations! Thank you so much for sharing your story. You will no doubt become an inspiration yourself :D
Good for you! You are very brave. And you absolutely made the right decision -- for you and your kids. They will be fine. They will be much better off than if you had stayed with him.
Thank You for sharing your story and for acknowledging all the others who have shared our stories. Together we are strong, none of us are alone.
You are amazing. Thank you for being strong and sharing your story. You will certainly be a positive influence on others.
Never look back.
You did the RiGHT thing.
My sister waited...
and then it was too late. He murdered her.
Nobody in our family will ever be the same.
Bravo to you for having the courage to LEAVE the Abuser.
Your children will find new role models.....They will see what "Real Men" treat women like.
With love and many Hugs. xxXX
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Andrea: I wanted to let you know what a large role your site played in giving me the courage to l... http://bit.ly/mlktQ2 (@VUnSilenced)
<i<I am glad I did it.
I'm glad you did, too. You deserve better.
I did it for my kids, I did it for me, and I hope one day to be a positive influence on women who need to make the same tough decision.
Good news! I think today is that day. :)
Congrats! I'm very glad that you were able to find the strength to leave, for your sake and for your children. Yes, it's sad that they won't have a good role model in him of how to behave...but they have a good idea of what is unacceptable!