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For me, materialistic things were easily replaced. It took me an entire week to bring some sense of order to my home, BUY LEVITRA OVER THE COUNTER. A week later, buy LEVITRA no prescription, I just managed to put up my Christmas tree and fill it underneath with presents for my daughter. When she came to see me, she had no idea what had gone down. Buy LEVITRA from canada, I knew the routine, I had followed through so often in my life. I didn't bat an eyelash while I enjoyed the holiday with her, my bruises hidden. A month later he was back.

BUY LEVITRA OVER THE COUNTER, Some part of me knew something was wrong with this picture. All along the counselor's words echoed in my mind, LEVITRA canada, mexico, india. The second chance almost cost me my life... that's a story for another day.

*

Today you were introduced to a world that far more woman live than you realize. No, LEVITRA no rx, they don't ask for that world. Sometimes they just don't know how to escape and when they do, they find themselves lost not knowing how to cope in a world of sane normals, BUY LEVITRA OVER THE COUNTER. We each have different reasons that can't be explained unless you have lived that life. I was one of the fortunate ones, I escaped eventually. Far more lose their lives without knowing a day without a beating, LEVITRA class. Today, I'm an outspoken advocate against domestic violence. BUY LEVITRA OVER THE COUNTER, If my voice joins another and so on, sooner or later there will be enough help that more women escape this life. Sometimes all it takes is one woman's story to open the eyes of another to the danger she may be living. LEVITRA wiki,

If you hear your neighbors screaming and punches being thrown, windows breaking, doors slamming... Please for the sake of these women and their children make the call to the police they don't know how to make. If you see a woman with a bruised face, australia, uk, us, usa, don't be afraid to approach her and say it doesn't have to be this way. I carry my local S.O.S phone number on me to pass on as it was once passed on to me, BUY LEVITRA OVER THE COUNTER. Do I think I'm better than these women because I escaped. Not at all, LEVITRA used for, I'm one of the few lucky ones; I don't want to open the paper or turn on the news one more day to hear about one more unlucky life being wasted away for a beating. It's real, it happens. Every minute that passes by another woman or child will have been beaten.  Today, I'm a survivor... BUY LEVITRA OVER THE COUNTER, one more story told, one more demon put to rest.

Addendum: This story was printed on an early journal I used to keep. As I re-read over these words to double check for errors, I felt sucker punched -- I couldn't breath. I still wonder how the hell I survived the horrors I did, it still takes my breath away; I still feel each bruise and wound inflicted on me all these years later. My only salvation is knowing my story just might save someone else. It's the only thing that makes the telling possible. From my spirit to yours, stay safe and loved.

###


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Thank you for visiting Violence UnSilenced, a speak-out platform for survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. If you are a survivor and it is safe to do so, we encourage you to share your story here. If you are not a survivor but you want to support those who are, please click around this site and find out more about what you can do.

Comments

56 comments
Jennifer H
Jennifer H

Indigo, even though I knew a little of this ahead of time, I wasn't prepared. Not at all. My god. I'm so glad you are safe now. I know it could have gone another way, so easily.

You are so brave, so strong, and thank you for telling your story here.

Love to you.

Screwed Up Texan
Screwed Up Texan

Thank you for sharing. It is hard to relive the past, but what you are doing is surely helping other victims of abuse to get out and to heal. I commend your bravery to tell your story.

Becky
Becky

You never know how bad things are until you look back on those dark days. Thank you for sharing.

Emma
Emma

There are not words adequate enough to express the strength of emotions in your story. You are amazing. Thank you so much for sharing.

Eaton Bennett
Eaton Bennett

Indigo, what horrible things you have been through and survived. Every time I read someones horror story here, I am shocked that one human being can do these things to another. And honestly I am lost for words. Stay safe and peace to you.

Lynn (Walking With Scissors)
Lynn (Walking With Scissors)

I read this post a few days ago and was struck completely speechless. I didn't know what to say then and I don't know what to say now. All I can say is that I'm so very happy to hear that you got out of there and that you survived to tell your story. Thank you.

TJ
TJ

Standing on my chair to look bigger screaming " I am here, I anm over here and I hear you!"
Break the silence is a start a huge start and every sister should scream the same...NO MORE! NOT NOW NOT EVER...and walk to the nearest support.

My case divorce...but I walked!
Hugs
TJ

Julia
Julia

Indigo. I remember the first time I read this I cried and again today. I am so happy you are out of that terrible situation.

Joy
Joy

Thank you for sharing, and for helping me to understand, a tiny little bit more, why people might go back... "when they do, they find themselves lost not knowing how to cope in a world of sane normals". I am glad that you are out, and safe. Take care.

Cat Van
Cat Van

I admire you so very much.

Reagan
Reagan

You are so incredible and brave. Thank you.

kelly
kelly

Sweetheart, I am so sorry. You are beautiful and brave, and I wish I could throw my arms around you. Thank you for the courage you have shown in sharing this, in living this. Your story is important, and I believe your telling it will do so much good.

Tabby
Tabby

Hugs to you my friend, I know your pain and am so glad you are a survivor like me.

ADB
ADB

Indigo,
I trust that your courage in retelling the story of your abuse will encourage women in a similar position, and empower them to take the steps necessary to reach safety. You are a powerful writer - and it can save lives.

Syd
Syd

Indigo, I'm very sorry that this happened. I can only imagine the pain to your emotions and spirit. I don't understand why we do the things that we do to each other, other than the sickness and self-hatred that gets out of control. I've never experienced such violence. But I know that there were times when I could feel a rage in me when my wife and I would argue during her drinking years. That feeling of rage was frightening. Thanks for telling your story. I hope that those who have suffered such abuse will get help and those who are abusive will get help as well.

lceel
lceel

I am ashamed that I share an organ with the bastard that did the things to you he did. What I don't understand is why, and how, one person can do such horrible things to another. It is totally beyond me.

Mark
Mark

You are doing very important work here! We need to create awareness about this topic. Thank-you!

Scott W
Scott W

I hope with each retelling and each re-reading you dissolve a little piece of the horror. So many humans suffer each day. It leaves me speechless.

Yaya
Yaya

Indigo,
I have tears in my eyes for you. I'm sorry you had to endure this in life. It's not fair. I was in an abusive relationship for 2 1/2 years, and I still have moments where I think of it (10 years later) and think how I almost didn't survive that time in my life.
Yaya

Mark
Mark

I can only shake my head in wonder and humility. This takes a lot to share, and man, you are one strong person.

Marty
Marty

Hi Indigo,
It's just shocking ... horrifying. Thank God you survived.
Best,
Marty

katherine.
katherine.

I've found your weblog by way of Mimi....

it is a profound story you tell. I can not imagine the strength it must take to put it all out there...well done.

Rebecca
Rebecca

Indigo,
I'm so glad your voice was also heard on this website. Loud and clear. Your strength to leave, to make it out has now transfered into power in sharing.

I think for those that have suffered as you did, this part of the healing, in sharing, is important.

Well shared my friend,
Rebecca

Emily R
Emily R

the violence will always be a part of you, but you have found a way to make it something you now have power over.

Withheld
Withheld

Thank you for sharing your story. I envy you the chance you had at the shelter...had I ever been given THAT chance...

Erin
Erin

indigo, your body and spirit are a shrine. it hurts me to know what happened to you but i'll use it to open my eyes.
erin

Maura
Maura

I'm blown away. We know, whether or not we want to admit it or can even talk about it, we all know that this goes on day in, day out for women all over. But to read it so starkly is just breathtaking, and not in a good way. Saying I'm glad you got out seems inconsequential, but it wasn't inconsequential for you, so please let me say how extremely glad I am.

I've never known anyone that I could say with any certainty lived in this kind of situation, or anything remotely like it. But I'm going to get that number and put it in my book, because sadly, the odds are the one day I certainly will.

Thank you for sharing this with us. Your courage is extraordinary.

DB
DB

I remember reading this from your journal the last time around. I've just read it again. I don't know what it is that can drive a person into such a rage as to be so destructive of property and person, although I know it happens. Maybe the victims return to hell because they think it will somehow magically improve, or because it's safer than facing the unknown alone. But this new journal should be providing a healing for those who need it and it should be read by everyone, even those who have never had such an experience in their lives. Your courage is remarkable.

Love you. DB

NGS
NGS

This story gives me hope that every time I hand out a number to a shelter, it really will help someone. I'm sorry to hear about the horror you had to go through, but I'm happy you were able to get out and survive. It is brave of you to speak out. Thank you for all you do.

Heather
Heather

I'm so proud of you. I've been waiting for this entry. You are incredible. I cannot wait to watch you soar even more than you do now.

Lots of love,
xo

Kay
Kay

Such a powerful story - thank you so much for sharing it. Your strength is apparent in your writing. While you ARE one of the lucky ones, remember to give yourself some credit for taking the chance to get out that luck presented to you.

pamela
pamela

one more story told, one more demon put to rest.
yes. and amen.

and thanks.

sheri
sheri

Hello Indigo,
The one thing I have learned with my age..is that I will NEVER stand by and do nothing if I think someone is being abused. If they can't use their own voice, I will be that voice for them.. Something a few people didn't do for me when I was the one being abused.
I'll see you back over at blogger,
Hugs, Sheri

Trishk
Trishk

Thank you for sharing your story.

Bethe
Bethe

Hi Sweetie~ I often wondered what brought you to be an advocate of the abused. Now I know and feel very prividiged to know you.

a little person
a little person

Stories like yours build up my hope for humanity and tear it down all at once...

As long as there's the strength that you've shown, and as long as we can keep on spreading the word and the compassion that all people deserve, there's a little bit of hope out there.

It doesn't have to be like this, it never does. Thank you so much for living, for being, and for doing all you can in the hope that, some day, no one need ever fear leaving the mockery of a human relationship that leads to such horror.

Thank you...

rachel d
rachel d

It's a privilege to be addressed by such a courageous, strong spirit.

Karen Sugarpants
Karen Sugarpants

wow. thank you for sharing your story. it was like re-living my childhood, through my mother's eyes. it still stings.

Vicky Westra
Vicky Westra

Thank you so much for speaking out. How hard it must have been but thank goodness for the bravery and courage you summoned up! We expect the most from the most beaten down, and I think you just helped a lot of people by telling them to get involved and help those not in a position to help themselves. So glad you shared! Blessings to you!!

Lillian
Lillian

Thank you for having the courage to share your story.

krista
krista

hi beautiful. so glad to see you sharing your story here. you are such an amazing inspiration and i'm so grateful our paths have crossed in this virtual world. you always help me to remember to know myself, love what i see, fix what's broken and stay true. so thank you.
xoxo ~krista

Mojo
Mojo

It's hard for most people, I think, to comprehend this kind of savagery. I know it's hard for me. Even seeing it firsthand -- though not quite to this degree -- I reach a point where my mind simply won't handle it all.

Sounds a little like maybe you're still second guessing yourself. Wondering if you did the right things at the right time, should you have done something sooner, or done something differently. Maybe not -- I hope not -- but just in case, you should know that there's no "right" way to get through this kind of thing. And it doesn't matter how you got out, it just matters that you did, and that you have the guts to bring this message to others in the same circumstances.

I admire the strength you showed in the face of the violence, but even more I admire the strength you're showing now in laying yourself bare for all the world to see so that somebody else doesn't have to suffer the way you did.

You've also brought out a point I hadn't considered -- at least consciously -- before. Getting out means coping with the "normal" world. And that "normal" is as alien to these victims as their world is to those outside it. And "alien" is by its very nature scary. Hard to imagine that anyone would be more frightened of life outside an abusive relationship than life in one, but it probably seems like "better the devil you know". For someone who knows someone that needs that final bit of encouragement to get out, that's an important understanding to have.

Thank you for putting another underscore under the theme I've always felt was the basis for this site. "You are not alone. And you don't have to live this way." And thank you for helping the rest of us understand the dynamic just a bit better.

Fran
Fran

Indigo, Bless you for your sharing. By living as an example of someone who stepped out of the victim role and became a victor - and a champion for others, you are helping to change the world.

Yesterday I saw a woman at my church with what looked like the remaining bruises from 2 black eyes...but maybe just "bags under her eyes". Her face haunts me. I'm trying to think how to approach the situation.

John
John

My heart goes out to you!
HUGZ!

Jill
Jill

Thank you for sharing your story. I called the cops for a neighbor once, who had sought refuge in my apartment, but she hid from them when they came to the door and refused to do anything. I was just sad for her because she felt so trapped and helpless, but also felt bad for her husband. But if she had come back I would have kept calling for her!

mandy
mandy

I can't think of anything to say other than I am so very sorry to hear what happened to you.

kellyb
kellyb

thank you. I just submitted my story yesterday and felt the same as you... sucker punched.... I too cant believe where I am now compared to then.
Your words touched me deeply... thank you so much.

Ali
Ali

Wow. I was so moved by your words. Thank you for sharing this part of your story.

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