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I was amazed that someone with a history, a record, almost killing me on a first attack on such a special night could possibly just get probation. I was even more amazed that so many women who had experienced this downplay it as well. But, I understand why… this subject is still taboo in our society.
Forgiveness is given, as I cannot judge another, and I cannot allow this to negatively impact me. I just feel that the next woman should have the right to know that this man is abusive, so that she will be protected. If he could almost kill me on a first attack, where will he go with the next woman? At what point will it stop. BUY LOPID OVER THE COUNTER, Death.
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Since I first wrote this he was out on bail and tried to contact me. Even living 7 hours away, he came to see me. He then got bail up to $100K and was back in jail. I then testified in open court for over an hour, BUY LOPID OVER THE COUNTER. His family sat there listening to the details of that horrid abusive night, knowing his prior abuse to woman. He plead not guilty and it is now set for trial with 7 counts against him and a possible 8-year sentence. His family bailed him out, and I continue to have to live in fear… with pepper spray, taking Krav Maga self defense classes. But I will not cower and let this coward with an enabling family control me. I am not a piece of trash to be beaten up and torn down and thrown in the gutter--and no other woman is, either.
May peace and serenity be with us all always, and may all find the strength and courage to do what is right and healthy.
[Editor's note: an attached corroborating news article was redacted per VU policy regarding use of last names.].
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Thank you for visiting Violence UnSilenced, a speak-out platform for survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. If you are a survivor and it is safe to do so, we encourage you to share your story here. If you are not a survivor but you want to support those who are, please click around this site and find out more about what you can do.
I happened upon this website by accident but am so happy I did. I need some advice. I had a wonderful marriage of 31 years until my husband was diagnosed as bipolar. We were in Zimbabwe at the time and not too much help was afforded us. My husband eventually died and a couple of years later, out of lonleiness, more than anything else, I met somebody with whom I thought I could re-build my life. He was quite delightful, until we married, and then came the abuse, the drinking, the drug taking and the rest. Why did he not exhibit these signs before, and how was I so gullible a punch bag? I am now happily back in the UK and he has no idea where I am. The mess in Zimbabwe means that I don't have a copy of my marriage certificate [despite my spending a few pounds trying to obtain a copy], but, as I have had no contact with him for over 3 years, and do not wish to, what is my situation as I wish to be divorced from him. I am on state benefits only, having lost everything when I left Zimbabwe. Any ideas?
The most shameful thing about this was that his family KNEW about his history, yet no one said a thing about it to you. Abuse is a pattern -- it breaks my heart to read your story -- to know that his family was enabling this when they could have helped to prevent it from happening to another woman. I'm so sad this happened to you -- but so glad that you were able to get away after the first time.
MY GOD! I don't know what's more amazing. That you survived such horrifying abuse or that you are still brave enough to share this so YOU CAN PROTECT OTHERS.
There should be no shame in your survival. I'm grateful for each breath you take. It is a blessing and a miracle.
What a stunning display of love from your friends... your strength leaves me speechless
My heart aches for you to have been betrayed like this and treated so viciously. I applaud your strength and courage to come forward, to go to court and see this through. Stay strong sister!
Something very similiar to this happened to me! You are so courageous. You have no idea how much I admire you. I am so glad we are both alive and strong to support others today! (hugs)
Wow. The fact that it can happen so quickly. No warning. No signs. Thank you for sharing.
You are amazing and SO strong! This is such an important story to get out there in the world. I'm so sorry you had to go through this but thank you for sharing.
"I am not a piece of trash to be beaten up and torn down and thrown in the gutter–and no other woman is, either." AMEN!
I'm sorry that you went through this, but I thank you so much for sharing your story here. It sounds like you are on the right path for the future -- my wish for you is to stay safe, stay strong, stay sane, and to never give up on the belief you outlined so well above. You are priceless. Peace and healing to you.
This is such a powerful post, thank you for writing and sharing it. This is what people need to hear, that it CAN happen to anybody. I pray for your protection and healing, and for your peace of mind. You're incredible :).
Thank you for sharing your story, for being so brave to fight for yourself and for other women. Thank you for speaking up and speaking out and demanding the world hear and listen.