Thank you for visiting Violence UnSilenced, a speak-out platform for survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. If you are a survivor and it is safe to do so, we encourage you to share your story here. If you are not a survivor but you want to support those who are, please click around this site and find out more about what you can do.
You are 100% not guilty for what happened to you. Your rapist is 100% guilty. With as much love and compassion as I can send through a computer, I encourage you to get professional help with your recovery. A little counseling goes a long way! Throughout my recovery I noticed that issues I needed to face kept resurfacing, and never at a convenient time! It always meant that no matter how much I didn't want to, there was something that I needed to face and fix. If this is coming back to you at certain times in your life, face it head on! Healing, and complete recovery, is possible, And it's wonderful!
That's exactly what happened to me. Backseat of a car, after a party, friend of a friend. I was 16. I didn't tell a soul until I was about 22. I'm 46 now. I too wish I could have done things differently that night, fought harder, told someone sooner, SOMETHING. I too wonder what I'll tell my daughter some day, if at all. She's only 6, but I'm always on guard for her... always worried about the statistical possibility that she will become a victim of sexual assault too some day. Maybe that is enough, that I'll be a mom who pays closer attention to having an open/honest relationship with her than my mom did. That doesn't mean I blame my mom for what happened, but I do wish she'd "warned" me about such things LONG before they actually happened. Just know that talking about it does help, even if you have to do so anonymously. We here, we hear you, and we love you. (((hugs)))
That's way too much.. to live with as i read your story I realized many things about why i can't just feel comfortable with people around me God i also hate the feeling of being unsafe and unconfortable around people always feeling out of place, this i s just energy taking I'll be praying for you ... remember non of this is you fault but it does make me feel proud of you the fact that you want your doughter to learn to be safe.. im doing that as well with my kids i wouldn't want them to go trough that kind of situations.God Bless You always!!
I'm so sorry for what he did to you. I want you to know that it's not your fault you didn't get out of the car - you did freeze, and that's part of the survival response (you know how they used to say "fight or flight"? Now they say, "fight, flight, freeze, or submit" all part of the same system designed to keep you sane and alive). There is help, if you decide you want it. It absolutely can be different. And not everybody will look at you like those old boyfriends did. But you get to decide. Because you're in control now. And whatever you choose for yourself is okay. Thank you so much for sharing this.
I'm truly glad that if you feel that you can't talk about what happened, you have this space to get your story out, and know we understand. I know what you mean about daughters. I have 2 and I fear that I'll tell them too much in trying to protect them.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. You are not alone, and you are the expert of when and whom to tell. You made the best choices possible at the time to handle this thing that should not have happened to you, and I hope for your continued healing.