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fear rule me, but deep inside I still think, someday she will kill me...

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If you or someone you know is possibly in danger, please call the National Domestic Violence hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or visit thehotline.org for free and anonymous professional guidance.  .

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Comments

8 comments
wordsfallfrommyeyes
wordsfallfrommyeyes

This sounds frightening and I cannot relate.  I definitely never thought it could go that way, be that way, so you have enlightened me.

 

I support and hope the best for you, to be safe.  I wish earnestly for your volatile daughter to overcome those rages within, and be master of her own self and who she is.  Sincerely, I wish you both the best.

InTheRoar
InTheRoar

I am overwhelmed at this.  This is enormous.  To see your daughter drunk and volatile -- and striking you.  My God, this is all heart aching.

 

True, she never saw a man hit you and how does she think it's OK for her to.  This is just so heart breaking.

 

I do hear strength in your words though, and I admire you being so freaking, FREAKING honest here.  Absolutely brilliant, raw, real life true this is.  The best kind of blogging, if you ask me.

 

Sincere best to you, as you go forward.  And your daughter.

 

AnissaMayhew
AnissaMayhew

It hurts ro know you live with the pain of abuse and the guilt of wondering how you affected her. I hear you both struggling so much byt hop e you can find peace.n 

pameladayton
pameladayton

I hear your words. I hear your pain. I hear your power.

LauraHayden
LauraHayden

Wow. Thank you so much for posting this! As a survivor of violence, I know the shame and guilt you speak of. You did nothing to deserve it, and it is fantastic that you are taking steps to protect yourself. It may be hard, but you are worth it.

Deb Rox
Deb Rox

 It sounds like you have a good understanding of where your daughter's pain comes, and an understanding of how addiction can be destructive in many ways, but that no one should be in a physically abusive environment for any reason. Hoping that all of you receive the help, care and healing you need to have safe, violence-free lives.

StacyMorrison
StacyMorrison

I feel for you, and can tell how confusing it is to be in your position, and in your head. Yes, there are wrongs you can point to in your past, but no, that does not mean you "deserve" this, that you should allow it. One of the greatest heartbreaks in life is losing one's children, in whatever way that means. I wish you strength in dealing with her, in finding the way to be strong FOR her and strong against her, to find the place from which you can mother her and draw boundaries, instead of keeping you both in the cycle. You are worthy, so is she. You both need and want love. Hold on to those truths and hopefully with patience and time you will find your way to better ground, together.

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