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Two months later I confessed to my mother. I saved her from beating his head in with a frying pan, and got her on the phone with the cops. He was shuffled off, and I never saw him again. He was released from jail this past year, and lives only an hour from me now, ZESTRIL FOR SALE. While that scares me, I won't let it bother me. I won't let him take another minute of joy and happiness I posses.

I won't ever be rid of the awful memories I have of the dark times in my life. I have flashbacks every now and again, and sometimes I am unable to shake those away before it completely slaps me in the face, but I am stronger. I have a family of my own, a loving wonderful husband, and a long life ahead of me. I intend to live fully, and happily.

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Comments

35 comments
Pgoodness
Pgoodness

Thank you for sharing your pain and your story. I'm so sorry for your lost childhood and the terrible things that happened to you. Living fully and happily is certainly the best revenge.

me
me

I am so sorry you got the double whammy of stupidity from the guys in your family.

I am so happy to hear that you have your own true family now. Here's to your happily ever after!

Lady Jenn
Lady Jenn

My heart skipped so many beats for you while reading this. Your past and present strength is truly amazing.

Your intent to live a full and happy life is a testament to your power.
It sounds like you are living a happy life with your wonderful family, and knowing that gives hope to many others.

Thank you so very much for sharing your story.

Angie
Angie

God Bless you for coming forward, and for sharing your story.

amber
amber

Thank you for sharing your pain - and your bravery with us. Knowing you not only survived, but are thriving, could very well be the light at the end of the tunnel for someone else...

Kate
Kate

Sending you hugs and healing thoughts. Thank you for having the courage to post this.

Sam
Sam

You are very courageous to share your story, please stay as strong as you are and never ever let those demons own you, you are so much more.

flutter
flutter

your strength is wonderful.

Lillian
Lillian

Thank you for having the courage to survive and to share your story.

Debbie in Memphis
Debbie in Memphis

Thank you for sharing. I can't imagine the strength and courage it's taken for you to overcome the pain. You are amazing. I hope your future is full of happiness.

B
B

The strength and courage it took to stand up with the other women in your family and point at the person(s) who were supposed to be your mentors and guides in life with men - kudos.

SimplyLeen
SimplyLeen

My abusers never spent any time in jail. I'm curious as to if you felt some sort of vindication or justice or something along those lines. The fact that my abusers were never "punished" by the system is something that bothered me.

(((u))) As a fellow survivor of the nighttime awakenings, makes it hard to sleep soundly even now, huh?

Blessings and peace to you.

Sunny
Sunny

Thank you for sharing your story.

Nicole
Nicole

Thank you for your bravery. As painful as it is to dredge up all that pain, I hope it helps you rid yourself of as much of it as possible. And know that you have helped someone else in the process. Maybe someone who isn't lucky enough to have the family you have today.

It sounds like you have been able to move on, closer to the peace and happiness you deserve. That is a wonderful thing.

TigereyeSal
TigereyeSal

I'm sorry and I'm glad for your optimism and strength. Keep on healing!

emma
emma

thank you. so much. for sharing. all my best wishes for your full and happy life.

Emily R
Emily R

that you for speaking. that is so awful.

Kat
Kat

((((((Baby girl))))) So sorry you went through all that, but very glad for you that you told, and your molesters went to jail.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Thank you everyone for all your kind words, especially you Mojo. I've never realized that play on words meant that much. It was a confession at the time. It was a confession of his "sins" so to speak that I had to unburden. That's the way it felt like.

I am hopeful that all of these stories on this website will help others share their story, or get out of their bad relationships, or seek justice on those that have done wrong to them.

Peace, love, and courage to you all!

Mojo
Mojo

What struck me as I read this was the way you kept using the word "confessed".

"Another six females in the family confessed, even I confessed...
...two months later I confessed to my mother...
...the power of the confession I'd made..."

It all sounds like you feel you'd done something wrong, that you had to make some confession in order to gain absolution. And I'm sure that you know, in your mind, intellectually, that you've done nothing remotely wrong. But the way you say these things sounds like -- to me anyway -- that somewhere in your heart you believe that you had some fault in what happened to you. that you did something "bad". Something that you need to "confess" to. And that troubles me. Because it makes me wonder if you're truly as free of the hold your abuse gained over you as you say -- even as free as you think.

It's not even a tiny bit unusual for victims to feel like they're to blame for the crimes committed against them. In fact, it's tragically common. Even after years of therapy, years of other people telling them, reinforcing the idea that they are not to blame, there's a part of them deep under the surface that still doesn't believe.

And mainly -- I think -- that comes from the control that the abusers holds over the victim. In cases like yours, this was someone you should have been able to trust with your very life if need be. Someone that you had every right to expect would protect you from the very kind of thing he was doing to you. But instead, he used that position of trust, of authority in your life to compel your silence. So when you broke that "rule", when you broke that silence, perhaps you felt you'd betrayed a trust, betrayed a confidence.

There was, in fact, a betrayal here. But it was not yours. He, or more to the point, they betrayed you, not the other way around. You gave them the trust of a child and they twisted and perverted it into something evil.

You've heard all of this before. I'm sure of it. Heard it over and over from people who genuinely do care about you. But I'm telling you again, because I don't think it's possible to say it too many times.

You are not at fault.

You did nothing wrong.

They were the "grownups" -- or they were supposed to be at least. You were just a little girl. No matter how old or grown up you might have thought you were at the time, you were still just a child. A child who deserved to feel safe, protected, loved in the ways a parent loves a child.

I'm glad you had your mother at least. Many in your position don't even have that. Or don't feel like they do at least. And my guess is that if you asked her, she would tell you she feels the guilt every single day for not recognizing what was going on. For "failing" you. But she is not to blame either.

I hope you will one day be able to rid your heart of the guilt you've rid your mind of already. That someday you'll find a word to replace "confession" in your story. A word that puts the burden of guilt where it belongs.

On the abuser. Not the victim.

Thank you for your courage, both then in the telling, and now in the retelling. It cannot have been easy to do either of those things. But I hope they've helped you.

I know -- and believe -- they've helped someone else.

withheld
withheld

Wow. You are amazing! Thanks for sharing your story.

ZM
ZM

I admire your strength, then and now. Thank you for sharing your story.

krista
krista

i'm not sure what i can say except i'm so proud of you for standing up and speaking out. the less we are silent, the harder it is for others to get away with this. i'm so sorry you had to experience any of that in the first place and i wish you so much peace.

SP
SP

This was so awful, and so hard to read. I am tremendously sorry for what you went through, and for your childhood stolen away.

Thank you for sharing. But more than that, thank you for having the strength to write, "I intend to live fully, and happily." I'm in awe.

Susan (woo222)
Susan (woo222)

Thank you so much for sharing. I love your positive attitude and refusing to let him claim another minute of your future after he had so much of your past. Good for you!! ~Susan

Aunt Becky
Aunt Becky

I am so sorry that you lived through such hell. You are so brave to tell your story. I am in awe of your strength.

K
K

thank you for sharing.

cat
cat

I hope that your story reaches out and touches someone else in need of it - thank you for sharing it here.

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