TENORMIN FOR SALE, [TRIGGER WARNING: What follows is a detailed brutal account of rape and violence. Please protect yourself accordingly.]
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The memories of sexual abuse are seared into my brain, TENORMIN without a prescription, ever present, always painful. TENORMIN FOR SALE, An uncle who lived with us made it his habit to rape me, just 6 years old, every time my parents left my 2 year old sister and me alone with him. He locked the baby in the back bedroom and found me hiding in my parents' closet. Suddenly, a pain in my head, TENORMIN without prescription, my soft brown hair wrapped, rope-style, around his hand. Low dose TENORMIN, Then, a hard, soft fall onto my parents' bed. He tore at my clothes, his open hand falling freely on my face, buy cheap TENORMIN. Shivering, naked, he demanded I spread my legs, TENORMIN FOR SALE. "Wider, wider. Don't make me tell you again." He pinched my delicate, Buy TENORMIN without prescription, untouched skin, twisted, pulled, thumped. When he put his fingers in, rx free TENORMIN, one at a time, I thought I might vomit from the pain. When he pointed in the direction of the baby's room and said, About TENORMIN, "If you don't sit still, I will do this to her," my fighting ceased. TENORMIN FOR SALE, I lay still throughout the torture, and when I thought it couldn't get worse, he flipped me onto my stomach, pressed my face into the pillow, and raped me with violent fervor. I don't know how long it lasted, but I remember being dragged by my hair onto my knees again, TENORMIN online cod. He held my nose closed until I opened my mouth, and I tasted blood, my blood, Buy TENORMIN online no prescription, as he came in my mouth. I retched, struggled not to throw up, fully believing that doing so would result in death.
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In high school: Valedictorian. Student Body President. Volunteer, TENORMIN FOR SALE. Mentor. Christian leader, TENORMIN class. I worked almost full time to help pay our bills. I cooked dinner, helped my sisters with homework, and kept the house clean. TENORMIN FOR SALE, None of it mattered. In private, my sisters called me "Mom." When my parents were away, their eyes looked to me constantly as a source of hope, comfort, and normalcy. When they returned, so did the screaming.
"You're such a fucking bitch. I'm ashamed to call you my daughter." My dad would praise me to his friends, but in private, I knew the truth. I was a "worthless bitch."
When I married my husband, I waited for the day he would hit me or yell at me, TENORMIN FOR SALE. I believed that was just how men treated women. We have been married six years now, and he has never once raised his voice. Every day that goes by with his hand gentle on my face and his voice falling softly, like rain, over my life, I learn that men can be good. His kind words and gentle hands have worked steadily over the years, first by placing a ring on my finger, then carrying me across the threshold, then sweetly cradling our babies' in his strong arms, to heal my wounds. His love for me is a salve that eases the hurt, though the scars remain and will probably always will.
Audrey does not have a blog or website. This is her first time speaking out in detail..
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Thank you for visiting Violence UnSilenced, a speak-out platform for survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. If you are a survivor and it is safe to do so, we encourage you to share your story here. If you are not a survivor but you want to support those who are, please click around this site and find out more about what you can do.
I can't think of anything to say except that I'm so sorry this happened to you. You are amazing and strong. I wish I could travel back in time and take you and your sisters away from that hell.
Audrey, thank you for sharing your story. It hurts my heart to know you went through this.. that other young children have gone through this... that other children as we speak are going through this. I cried so much reading this that I don't even have words to express just how amazing you are.. but I hope you know that you ARE amazing.. for everything... everything you endured... everything you did for your sisters.. everything you did to make sure you became a survivor. I hope others are able to rise above like you did. I can't think of any other words, just love<3 . Thank God for you!!
To each of you who took the time to read my story and offer a compassionate word, and to each of you who read my story and did not comment, thank you. Your words mean more to me than I can say. My middle sister was addicted to drugs for years. She got clean once, but her sobriety is uncertain. My heart breaks for her. I tried to be the best mother I could be to her, but it wasn't enough. The youngest is blissfully safe and happy. She bears no visible scars, and it seems I was able to protect her well. My babies are growing fast, and I am mostly "normal," until the flashbacks return and I end up shaking and scared in my husband's arms. Years later, my rapist still haunts me. I pray he'll leave me alone someday. Until then, your words bring comfort. Thank you for that.
I'm so, so sorry Audrey.
For anyone to go through that just breaks my heart.
You were a strong girl, and I'm certain now a strong woman. A true hero for your sisters.
I will always keep you in my prayers.
I'm so relieved that you have found the love and comfort you really deserve with your husband and I wish you eternal happiness.
You have left me wordless and mourning for your lost childhood, lost innocense.
Keep speaking out, keep speaking up. You are worth it.
My chest feels so tight and my throat so dry.... Most of what I am thinking and wanting to say has been said. You have touched my heart and life. I despise what has been done to you and admire your strength, compassion and kindness. The world is blessed to have such a beautiful soul amongst us, I can only hope and wish more people are like you. I am so very proud to hear that this cycle of violence has stopped with you and that your children have the loving and nurturing upbringing that you and all children deserve.
Please know you are worthy of only wonderful things in life and I hope with all my heart and being that you receive them. I wish the same for your sisters.
With Love, admiration and well wishes, Traci
thank you for sharing.
Sending you love. I hope I find a man whose kindness erases the pain like that. :) Thank you for being brave. Details are difficult to get through sometimes, but I hear you, and I am glad you have a voice to share. :)
oh, dear, sweet girl. your sisters are so lucky to have you & you are so lucky to have your husband.
It hurts my heart so much to know that there are little children suffering in this way. I just can't understand how anyone can treat another human like this. My heart goes out to you, and your pain. May you lived a blessed life from here on out.
I'm so, so sorry. I just... That's what I have for you. You have amazing strength. God, I'm so sorry.
Thank you so much for speaking out. I am so very sorry about what happened to you. You are a true survivor, the kind that hope is made of. Lifting you up in hugs right now.
Audrey, thank you for sharing your story. It is so heartbreaking and yet your love and strength fills me with sense of awe at the human spirit. I am just so sorry that those you trusted betrayed you so violently and so wholly. Yet reading about your relationship with your husband fills me with a sense of hope. Sending you much love and grounding.
Oh Audrey, I'm still trembling from the immediacy of your story.
How are your dear sisters?
Are you truly healing? I hope so, because you deserve it- you have a beautiful soul.
I'm holding you in the light.
It's so scary for me to imagine that those type of people exist in the world and that there are innocent children that are enduring such abuse.
I admire you so much for speaking up, for rising to your potential, for protecting your sisters, for accepting healing through God and your own family.
Audrey, my heart breaks to think of what you had to go through - you were and are so brave to protect your sisters then and to find the courage to speak out now. I'm so glad to read you have a loving husband and know abuse is not acceptable.
Audrey you are an amazing person..I am so glad you found a man to treat you like you deserve. I wish you only the best as you already experienced the worst.
I read this with a lump in my throat, hoping and praying for a happy ending. I am so glad you found a good man. I cannot imagine how you were all that you were in those years--a survivor, a protector, a mother/sister, and still managed to hold your head above water and add Valedictorian to that list, too? Amazing. You are amazing.
Thank-you for being strong enough to share your story and to be around to tell it. And not only did you protect yourself but your sisters as well. You are a remarkable women.
I hope that you continue to find all the love, comfort, and joy you so rightfully deserve.
I'm proud of you for finally speaking up. I'm proud of you for protecting your sisters. I'm glad you found a husband who is kind, gentle and loving. May you have continued happiness and love in y our life.
I can't stop the tears... you are so strong.. i hope your sisters still look up to you as their mother.. I am so glad that your husband is a great guy and your life has returned to normalcy now... love and prayers.
I couldn't believe what I was reading and the person writing it was of sound mind, strength to weild her pen as a weapon against violence.....I wish you every happiness there is. You are a survivor through and through....how difficult it must have been for you to write what you did.....
I have memories of a family where alcohol changed people into monsters, but I was blessed by the fact, my mother was strong, took the brunt of the physical and mental attacks....She did her best for us and how I wish you will someday find peace and I do believe that you've already ascended to a higher plane of existence than most of us have.....you are indeed, an earth angel and I'm sure your siblings feel the same way.
Oh dear girl, thank you for sharing. I'm so glad God led you to your husband. I'm so glad you are healing with his help. I hope you continue to find the help you need and thank you for helping the rest of us speak out. I hope your sisters are on the road to healing. Thank you for all your compassion and caring.
you brave, beautiful soul. You are so far from worthless. I will hold you and your sisters in my heart from this day forward. have they too, gone onto live life knowing that they are loved and precious?
You are an angel.
Thank you. Thank you for protecting your sisters, for sharing your story. Your strength is courageous and beautiful.
I'm floored by your experience and seem to be only able to tell you that I'm amazed by your strength and courage.
What horrible experiences you endured. So much pain, guilt, shame, and blame forced upon you.
What an incredible gift you gave to your siblings, standing up for them and giving them someone to believe in.
You are so strong.
How blessed you are to have the husband that you do. May you be blessed as you continue to heal.
Audrey, as I read your post, vivid memories came unbidden into my mind. Tears flow in a rush of unpleasant memories.
From the perspective of years I offer the following. Find some group to talk to-each retelling of the story takes the sting away a little bit at a time. As you hear others talk about their experiences and you tell yours, you will tranform; you will realize you are strong,creative, smart, loving, and they are the weak ones. You will forgive yourself you inability to protect your own body, your siblings and your mother. You will find a way to release the poison of darkness that resides inside you-it is there and it needs to be acknowledged.
You will come admire your own survival skills for they are truly amazing. You will find your are deserving of kindness and respect; it is not something that you are just lucky to have, but something you will demand as a right.
The hardest lesson is the lesson of forgiveness which took me a long time to learn. It begins with forgiving yourself of course-releasing all the guilt . But as long as you do not forgive them you will be giving them free rent in your head and they simply are not worth it. By forgiving them you release the bond of hate and pain that holds you together, and it is by far the best gift you can give yourself.
Take care of yourself Audrey. JB
I don't even know what to say. Your accounts of what happened to you are brutal and detailed and horrifying, and that's your burden and you carry it every day. I can't imagine the weight.
I am so relieved to hear a "happy" ending - that you are married to a good man, you have children. I am so relieved to hear that you survived, are surviving, every day.
i am so impressed and astonished and... grateful ... that you chose to share your story. This story will help someone.
You are an amazing, beautiful, strong woman. I'm so sorry your life began this way. You never deserved this. No one deserves this.
My god. Your strength is incredible, for surviving, for telling your story. And for finding a way to live a good life.
I will never understand what makes some people do things that are so sickening and monstrous.
i am so sorry you were so betrayed. your story breaks my heart, and yet your strength and survival and protection of your sisters affirms it.
i am glad you have a marriage that is a sanctuary from all you grew up with. it sounds like a place from which to heal. i hope this sharing is a step in that process too.
Audrey, my heart splintered reading these words, fractured for the betrayal, the horror, the fear and the colossal soul-wounds.
That you have found the courage to speak, to give voice, to share your words here- is profoundly moving. My thoughts and prayers are with you as the wounds heal, from the inside out. Bless you for being there for your sisters, for cradling, protecting, nurturing, giving them reason to hope and trust.
May you always know the goodness of gentle touch, compassionate words, understanding ears and peaceful sleep. Thank you for being here. For sharing these chapters from your life-book with others.
Sending you thoughts of courage, hope, strength and all-encompassing support,
Audrey - I'm shedding tears of relief that you have a good man in your life who has a healing touch for you. I cannot begin to imagine.
What a guardian angel you are for your sisters.
Audrey -- you are amazing. As others have said, it's normal to tear up reading the accounts on this site. But your story is very special. You are strong and brave. Above that, you are simply an angel. How someone who was abused so much and for so long can handle it the way you have is beyond extraordinary.
I'm sure that you carry much pain. I hope you don't carry undeserved guilt. And I hope your sisters understand and appreciate and that they are OK too.
Cherish your life with your husband. God has recognized your strength and sacrifice.
Thank you for sharing your fight with us, and thank you for fighting for your sisters. Many prayers for your continued healing and God Bless your husband for treating the way a man should treat a woman.
Oh how awful! I am so very sorry. I am so grateful that you found a real man to marry. The scoundrels that prey on women and children are not men. They are trash and not worthy of the air they breathe.
You are an inspiration. Your strength to overcome is outstanding.