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Just please, get out, and don’t look back.
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Thank you for visiting Violence UnSilenced, a speak-out platform for survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. If you are a survivor and it is safe to do so, we encourage you to share your story here. If you are not a survivor but you want to support those who are, please click around this site and find out more about what you can do.
There isn't a length of time that validates your experience. It's just that you were unsafe, you felt shame, you were fear, NO ONE has the right to do that to you. I am so glad your life has gone to a place with this husband and children. I hope you continue to find healing.
Thank you everyone, for all your words. What an emotional day today has been. I feel better than I have in a long time. I finally accept that there is no getting back to who I was (which I have been reluctant to realize for years), but rather a lifelong journey of evolving “me.” And that person will constantly change based on my experiences. I always knew that, rationally, but emotionally I guess I was just unwilling to accept it. I really feel that I made large steps today. Thank you again.
I have unbelievable goose bumps at the power and truth of your words! I have worked with women who have been through abusive relationships for years, and it is so unimaginably hard to turn away from a situation you believe you have somehow created, but these words of yours are sheer brilliance, and I will remember them and repeat them to every person I meet who is still on their pathway through to the other side of abuse: "I am already living in fear, why not do it with dignity?" Such a brave, brave thought. Good for you for hearing it! And finding the love you needed and deserved. I will share your story with others; thank you so much for being here today to be witnessed and applauded.
StacyMorrison Thank you for your encouraging words. I've never felt very brave. Posting this story gave me a lot of anxiety, but mostly because I do still struggle with feeling ashamed that I put up with it. That has a lot to do with the attitude I've encountered over the years on domestic violence: just leave! Most people do not understand how hard it is to do just that. Your affirmation helps to ease the shame.
Yes, we do all count. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you continued healing and blessings.
Bernadette, your story is sooooo much like mine, except mine lasted 10 years. I have always felt that since I wasn't severely abused my story didn't count either. That is, until I found Violence Unsilenced. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Yes, we are damaged, but damage CAN heal. It WILL heal. Especially with a loving person in your life. I still have my moments of not feeling worthy. Alot. But I give these feelings over to God and He tells me that I am loved and special and precious in His sight. Always remember that YOU are special.
Thank you so much. I really did think I was alone in my feelings. I had a difficult time deciding to post my story. I still have so many doubts, but this website inspired me. I can't even imagine being there for 10 years. Keep being good to you!
"What I’ve learned is that all abuse is tragic. And we all count." Bernadette, I could not have said it better myself.
I am glad you got out safely, and even more glad that you found someone who treats you with love and kindness. My wish for you is that someday you can treat yourself with that same love and kindess -- because you deserve it; because we all do.
Peace to you.
Thank you so much for posting this - you have *such* an important message and a lot of people are going to benefit from reading this. I'm so sorry for what was done to you, and I admire you so much for getting out and creating a new life. That takes unbelievable strength and courage. Don't let go of the idea that things can get even better emotionally. I think you might end up surprising yourself.
Thank you for sharing this. I could really relate to this and know that every day going forward is different. Bless you and your new happy family - you deserve it!
Thank you for sharing your story. Abuse is abuse no matter the degree of it. It leaves you feeling less than you are. I am relieved that you left and happy for you that you built your life and have a beautiful husband, children and you.