Comments on: BHJ

By: Bee

Bee — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 09:02:53 +0000

Yes. Thank you, sir, for your share. To know another has felt this void, this emptiness, is invaluable. Huge blocks are gone, unless someone else colors in the storyline, the long and winding tale that sounds so surreal from others’ memory vaults, as I have left it back there, and any good in between got caught in the drain trap too… I hate not sharing the vivid rememberance of my sisters’ laughs of joy along with our cries for help. I felt guilt and shame at forgetting what they could not, at moving forward, at my direct, often emotionless approach to friendships and family. We’re quite “expressive” now, here in the present, packing every day full of love, life and love of life. Thank you thank you thank you.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 01:02:52 +0000

Thank you for sharing. I don’t have memories like this, but I’m afraid my kids will.

By: Naimhe

Naimhe — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 22:21:55 +0000

yes I do….and I’m sorry you do too.

By: LiteralDan

LiteralDan — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 20:58:12 +0000

That’s chilling stuff, because it’s so vividly written. I’m glad to say I really do not have such memories, and I wish you could say the same. Glad to know that because you have become master of your life, your kids won’t either.

By: Me

Me — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 14:43:16 +0000

I am one of the lucky ones that do not have childhood memories (or lack of) like this. Hopefully this will help another mom or dad realise how much these things can effect their kids and give them the strength to break free. I am glad you are not killed.

By: Kimmie

Kimmie — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 14:32:06 +0000

Yes, I do have memories like this.

Sometimes they will go away only to come back with such a fierceness that I am literally paralyzed emotionally for long periods of time.

Thank You for sharing.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 05:44:29 +0000

OK. I got my words back. This has been a wrenchingly emotional week for me due to the very memories — or convenient lack thereof — that you describe. They’re always there, but buried, deep. And when they surface, it’s like being struck by a nuclear missile.

A big hug to the little boy in the closet who now calls your psyche home. Here’s hoping that someday — if he isn’t already — the little guy can smile.

By: justmylife

justmylife — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 04:56:55 +0000

Thanks for sharing that it happens to men too. Not just children, not just women, but amyone can be a victim of violence. And thank you BHJ for sharing your memories. Those memories are the hardest. My children will never have them.

By: Lindsay

Lindsay — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 03:54:00 +0000

Kind of. But it wasn’t my parents. It was my teenaged neighbors in the basement.I wouldn’t have believed my 4 year old self when she told my grown up self, except I’ve seen the pictures of my 4 year old self after they burned the tip of my nose with a car cigarette lighter. That makes me think the rest probably happened, too.

But it never, ever will to my kids. Because I trust no one.

By: Ms. Bar B

Ms. Bar B — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 03:40:27 +0000

Very powerful. Thanks for sharing your story. I think this is a very common thread. The second guessing, the fear of “being wrong”, the urge to somehow protect the wrong doer.

Again, thank you for sharing.