I have never done this before but really feel that I need a bit of clarity from a third party. I am married with 3 children. My husband and I have been married for 4 years but together for 16 years. During this time we have definitely had our ups and downs and our relationship has at times been violent. Before we got married, he was jailed for a number of years for a very violent offence. When he got out of jail we worked hard to develop a good relationship and try to rebuild our lives as loving parents to our children and as a loving couple. We got married and obviously been together ever since. We only ever fight about money. Mainly because I have allowed us to get into a considerable amount of debt. Nothing that we can't get ourselves out of but all the same, a large amount. Each time we or he is notified about our financial difficulties he goes into a rage. His rages have been so bad at times, one evening he rammed my head into a wooden fence, causing me to require stitches across my forehead, he had punched, kicked and whipped me on occasion also. He has also strangled me until I passed out. Tonight we had another fight and he punched and kicked me again, and this time he has threatened to kill me, or at least punch all my teeth out and place me in hospital. He also said that he was so angry with me that he wanted to beat our children because he was so frustrated. He says this is all because he gets so mad with me about finances. I am not a gambler or anything like that, I just find it difficult to pay bills because I feel an immense pressure to ensure we have spending money etc when we need it. I do agree with my husband that the bills are very frustrating for him, but I have completely lost my way as to whether I should remain in my marriage. I need some objective advice in this situation. If I was to try and talk to him about the violence he would say that it's because of me.
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