Caitlyn speaks out about her rape and abuse at Violence UnSilenced.

January 19, 2012 | rape, sexual abuse, survivor story

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BUY GEODON OVER THE COUNTER, I was 15 when I first met him (I am 18 now). He was my boyfriend’s 45-year-old father, online buying GEODON hcl. Doses GEODON work, He seemed kind and nice and different. When my boyfriend and I broke up I was devastated, GEODON maximum dosage. Is GEODON addictive, I tried to get back with my boyfriend, texted him as much as I could, GEODON forum. I found out during the summer that he had started cutting himself, BUY GEODON OVER THE COUNTER. Order GEODON from mexican pharmacy, I texted his father.

Then it started, GEODON mg. GEODON canada, mexico, india, We texted day after day after day. I started to hope for a relationship, where can i find GEODON online, Buy cheap GEODON, stupid as I was. BUY GEODON OVER THE COUNTER, One night he texted me saying all the things he wanted to do to me. I should have known it was wrong; he had a wife, GEODON pharmacy. Herbal GEODON, I was a fool. I believed him when he told me he loved me and we agreed to meet, GEODON price, coupon. GEODON steet value, I couldn’t drive yet so he had to pick me up. He gave me looks in the car ride, remarking, “God you’re beautiful.” I blushed, and he ran his hand up my neck and through my hair, BUY GEODON OVER THE COUNTER. I got shivers and smiled, GEODON pics. Purchase GEODON online no prescription, We walked around an art exhibit and held hands. When we got back to the car I kissed his neck, where to buy GEODON. GEODON schedule, He kissed me back, roughly, real brand GEODON online. BUY GEODON OVER THE COUNTER, He pulled my hair too, to “get me to focus.” I should have stopped there. Buy GEODON online no prescription, But I didn’t. Later that night he drove me to a place I didn’t know, is GEODON safe. GEODON from canada, He pulled down my pants and pulled up my shirt and just looked at me. I think I wanted it, GEODON description.

We met every weekend, him picking me up and me going along with it, BUY GEODON OVER THE COUNTER. Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, One of the drives was different than the others. We had started talking about having sex, GEODON pictures. GEODON class, I was a virgin. I remember we were planning it, canada, mexico, india. BUY GEODON OVER THE COUNTER, We drove to a construction site. GEODON results, He began to take my clothes off. I was naked, buy GEODON without prescription, Buy cheap GEODON no rx, then I began to have second thoughts. He began to push me down on him. I said “No, wait, stop,” because it hurt. I pushed away from him and he forced me down on top of him, stop, please, BUY GEODON OVER THE COUNTER. When we were done I was bleeding pretty badly. He took a white handkerchief and wiped up my blood and his penis. He handed it to me; it was my virgin blood.

I felt nothing on the drive home and even asked him afterwards if it was rape. BUY GEODON OVER THE COUNTER, He told me it wasn’t, and that I would have regretted it if I didn’t do it.

From then on it was every weekend, having sex. At the end of every time I would cry and he would lick the tears from my eyes. I tried to tell people, because no one else knew. He told me I had to tell them I was lying. My friends stopped believing me, BUY GEODON OVER THE COUNTER. He gave me pot and alcohol most times to calm me down.

He would slap me around, pull my hair and tie me up. He called me beautiful. He watched me puke up all my food while he touched himself. BUY GEODON OVER THE COUNTER, Six months later I left. I guess part of the reason I write this is to try to convince myself that it wasn’t my fault. I never went to the police because he has a wife and children. I didn’t want to ruin their lives. I cannot help but be mad at myself for what I did. I thought I was in love. I ask myself if it was rape, if it was my fault, if I deserved it. I still don’t know if I should hate myself for what I did.

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aliyah g 5 pts

hey catyn im aliyah ive been through that kinda stuff its hard but you make it ive been rape by alot of people in my short life i got out at 14 im 16 now you well make trust me im sorry that you went through that my story is simulyer

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xxlylmousexx 6 pts

Hey Caitlyn. It was way cool of you to talk about your experience. Sex is something that comes with awesome and amazing feelings. Sometimes though, people get it mixed up because of a person putting a bad spin on it. As the adult that man should have had some respect for You, His wife, His family and Himself. He did not. You did the best you could in sorting it out. Just remember that survival is more than just making it. It is enjoying what they try to take away. You really are amazing and beautiful! You can enjoy life and all its fabulous parts if you want to. :o)

Kelly

If he does this to you, a stranger, how do you think he treats his own family? His child has to cut himself to deal with the pain of living with that kind of father. Speaking out is NOT going to make things worse for his family, sweetie. I'm proud of you for telling your story here. It takes extra courage to go to the police, but you can do it. We're behind you if that's what you want to do.

tigger62077 150 pts

It was rape. This is NOT your fault. He took advantage of a broken hearted young girl, and then fed her lies, knowing she would believe him. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Because you are standing up, here, others will read and know and understand that it's not their fault either.

FGHart 7 pts

Caitlyn, Thank you for sharing your story. Through your courage, others can also find assurance that what you experienced is not acceptable or reasonable, and that this was not your fault. Maybe this assurance will help someone else in their efforts to overcome or escape an abusive situation. I pray for your continued healing.

mamacita 5 pts

Thank you for sharing. You are a survivor and I know the courage it took for you to post this. Maybe I'll share my story here sometime, too. I'm so glad you're a survivor and no longer a victim!

Jackie

You are soooooooo brave and soooooooo strong to be writing about this - some abusers need to feel like you enjoyed it, like you were a willing participant, in order for them to enjoy it. I had experiences like that as well. It's still abuse. It's still exploitation. There was a huge amount of emotional manipulation and control going on, that you were too inexperienced to recognise. He knew he was in the wrong. What these people are saying here is one hundred percent right - you were fifteen and that's exactly why laws against sex with underaged people exist. Thank you so much for telling your story. I'm so sorry for what he did to you.

AnnImig 7 pts

There is a reason that minors cannot give legal consent. There is a reason it's called rape even if you had given "consent" because you are a child and he is an adult. He was responsible from the first inappropriate text through the rape and abuse crimes. I'm terribly sorry for all your pain, and I hope you will treat yourself as gently and with as much kindness as you've always deserved to be treated.

zeghsy 6 pts

You are beautiful and brave and courageous and amazing. It is not your fault. You did NOTHING wrong. Regardless of your age, he took advantage. You said no, he did it anyway. That is rape. There is love and support, all the good kind, here for you.

Billy Turner 5 pts

From a Males point of View? You did nothing wrong!! You were young and thought he was the one! Well he WAS..He was the One PREDATOR that i would go to jail over if you were my daughter. You should not punish yourself for what he did to you.And the Worst you could do is keep quiet about it..You are helping yourself tremendously by speaking out! That is the first step! 2nd step is understanding you did nothing wrong. At that age girls and teen boys are very Vulnerable and gullible and older guys know this..They know if they say they Love you then you will almost do anything they want. Because at that age Girls are all about love..And Guys will capitolize and manipulate on that not just way older ones but teen boys are the same...so dont think it was anything you did wrong..You were taken advantage of and raped by someone that knows better.I am so sorry this guy did this to you..It makes me angry that he took this from you and left you to deal with it on your own with no repercussion on him! Just try to remember there are a lot of great guys out there and NOT all are like this! PLEASE try to remember that! I would hate for this to dictate the rest of your futures outcome....Your a Brave woman.....

MyBottlesUp 8 pts

my friend, you are not responsible for his manipulation and heinous actions. it was rape. you are a survivor. i know what it's like to question everything and to doubt. please be kind to yourself. i wish you peace in your healing and applaud you for using your voice.

bklynstacy 7 pts

Caitlyn, please be 100 percent certain: This was not your fault, you did not ask for it, and you are not to blame for all the confusing things you feel. I can understand why you didn't step forward; that would be very hard. I had a dear friend in high school who slept with her ex-boyfriend's father, too, and she was just as confused as you are, for good reason. Please be gentle on yourself and know that it is human to feel that desire, to like feeling attractive, to want someone to love you, and that those desires you had are NOT why this happened to you. Thank you for taking the step forward to tell your story. I hope this chorus of voices who are CERTAIN this is not your fault and that you should be free from any feelings of guilt will start setting you free. It's clear you have a beautiful heart and will find your way to let this go and not let it define you. Be well and have peace.

Frelle 5 pts

bklynstacy I agree with Stacy. Please be gentle. Please know there is no guilt you bear in this, whether you recall enjoying any part of it or not, physically or emotionally. It was never okay for him to do this, and it was not okay for him to ignore your pleas to stop. I'm so glad you published on VU, and I hope that telling your story gives you some release, I hope that reading comments gives you a sense of validation, and I hope that this begins your journey to complete healing form this experience. You are beautiful, there is no shame, you are strong, and so very brave. *HUG*

Becky

This was NOT your fault. A man 30 years older than you took advantage of you. Don't blame yourself. You are so brave to write this and we are all out here supporting you.

SarahPMiller 17 pts

Caitlyn, I am so sorry for what you've had to endure. No one, not you, not anyone, deserves this, and *it was not your fault.*

My wish for you is that you find some help and healing. You took an incredible step here, sharing your story, speaking your pain, showing others that survival is possible. Thank you for your courage and your strength, even if you can't see it yet. Keep that impulse -- that light -- inside you, and don't let it go out.

Sending peace to you, now and in the future.

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