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Cat blogs at Wait. What? You may recall her son's post on Violence UnSilenced back in June..

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Comments

53 comments
Kay
Kay

Thank you for sharing so honestly...

Annette
Annette

Very powerful Cat. I read David's post also...you both are amazing. What an amazing family...all facing their truths boldly and dealing with what ever comes up. Inspiring.

Becca
Becca

I remember every time my ex blacked out and hit me or my kids and then stated he didn't do that or he didn't remember that. I also remember how very embarassed I was. Unlike you, I didn't make it out in time to keep my oldest two from being hurt by him. Kudos to you, for being your children's protector.

It is my biggest regret that I didn't leave before he wounded them physically and emotionally.

Thank you for your story.

Patrick
Patrick

Thank you for sharing that, Cat. I hope that by others find strength and hope through posts such as this.

Lillian
Lillian

Thank you for sharing your story.

Lisa
Lisa

Thank you for sharing your story with us......

Jennifer H
Jennifer H

Thank you for sharing your story and your strength...

The Maven
The Maven

You are an absolutely fantastic human being, my friend. There is life on the other side of abuse, and you show that in everything you do. The violence in my life ended when I was 16 and left home, but the scars never really go away. However, I firmly believe I am a better mother, friend and lover because I've grown from those experiences and used them as a springboard to get to where I am today.

And I like who I am. And I like who you are, too.

Much love, and thank you for sharing *hugs*

Indigo
Indigo

Wiping away tears. I remembering thinking that way - as long as my daughter wasn't witness, didn't see, it wasn't her getting hit. How foolish my embarrassment was at the time, how wrong I was thinking she was protected. I found out later. The angry outburst, the disrespect for me, the questions of why I didn't leave. You can never truly hide that from a child. Mine saw the bruises peeking out from under long sleeves, saw the pain on my face when it hurt to move.

I'm just so glad my dear friend you and I are in a better place now. Healthier in mind and spirit. And yes, the strongest of it all was the ability to finally speak out. Thank you for sharing. (Hugs)Indigo

Lady Jenn
Lady Jenn

I'm sorry for all you went through, and I'm glad that you GOT through.
You are a brave woman.
Your story will help others toss away the cloak of unwarranted shame.
Thank you.

Amy K
Amy K

Cat, like so many others expressed, you are a brave woman. I am honored to be able to share your story by reading it and now it lives on as a source of hope. As one who witnessed violence in the home as a child and experienced living with alcoholic parents...I can only imagine what it must have been like for you...I hope that only good things are to come for you and your family!

flutter
flutter

proud of you. SO proud of you. Roar, babe. You are brave an strong and good.

Emily R
Emily R

Your children are lucky to have a strong mama

Fran
Fran

Blessings to you and your family. I remember your son's post. I know that it's difficult but I do hope that you can continue to find a way to work things out. Prayers to you and yours.

MrsMessiness
MrsMessiness

Oh Cat - once again your writing has touched me way down in the bottom of my soul. Thank you for being so honest - you are one of those women on my list of the very very most strongest.

Michael
Michael

Thanks for sharing that

vicariousrising
vicariousrising

Oh, Cat. I have tears in my eyes. That was terribly difficult to read -- I held my hands over my mouth the entire time and I can't exactly say why.

It is so brave of you to post it, and I am very glad you did. That you have made such changes in your life, taken a good look at the situation and assessed it with clearer eyes is incredible. You set a good example and I am so happy for you. I hope your journey continues to be a beautiful one.

Hugs and love to you.
Judith

Lou
Lou

Bravo, Cat. On all levels.

cindy
cindy

Thanks Cat. This has helped add to my knowledge and empathy for domestic abuse. I thank you for your bravery and strength to share this. It helps in so many ways!.

Sierra wolf
Sierra wolf

Cat, my heart breaks for all that you and your boys have endured. I am so very amazed by your strength, honesty, and bravery for writing this piece.
As a child, I endured 10 years of sexual abuse and I keep wondering when I'll be ready to write about it. I'm still not there yet.
You are are, and always have been, and inspiration to me.
(((BIG HUGS)))

Danielle-lee
Danielle-lee

Thank you so much for sharing. I am so sorry you and your boys went through that, but am so very thankful that you were able to make a change and find safety. Hugs to you.

cat
cat

And maybe, Steve just maybe this site can help those who have not left yet, who are alone somewhere feeling embaressed, maybe this site, this page these stories can reach those people. At least that is what I hope.

Steve E
Steve E

Many of us were allowed by God to discover truth--before it was too late, before we reached that point of no return.

What a story, Cat. One horrible part is that the story is multiplied thousands of times daily in this country alone....God help us!

Zoeyjane
Zoeyjane

Good for you, Cat, for understanding how misplaced your embarrassment was. For speaking out, so a woman whose living your past might understand it sooner. For choosing to make those phone calls.

lceel
lceel

I am so glad things are better for all of you, now. It's just a shame you went through the hell you did to get where you are.

jeNN
jeNN

Cat,
I understand this type of violence from a different perspective. My father beat me severely as a child drunk or sober. He also beat my mother.
I wouldn't cry for him, although there were beatings I do not remember. Since leaving home, no man has ever laid a hand on me since. God help the man who ever dares!
I am grateful for this. I always had trouble working with women who were victims when I was counseling. I could never understand why they stayed.
I think as a child not having a choice made me determined. Also, my mother left him when I was 12., with 4 kids in tow. That was the only reason she stayed that long. I think her modeling that to me made a difference, she was tough. I don't know. God knows I've analized it enough. I look back and see that all the peices fit like a big sacred puzzel and lead me to this point. They made me who I am and I like her. I hope you feel that way too. I think what you and your husband are doing together is nothing short of a miracle. I hope he shares his feelings with your boys.
Thank you for sharing this. I am privaleged that you wanted me to read it. jeNN

Debbie in Memphis
Debbie in Memphis

I, too, remember your son's post. Thank you for sharing your story and your son with us. You are both so very brave. Sending prayers and hope for many brighter days to you all.

jamie
jamie

first, cat...I love you. I love the fact that you invited me into this community of people who " know what its like." I'm not sure you'll ever understand how much that did for me...led me in a direction where I was able to leave, and start learning how to love myself and forgive him...forgive myself.
I'm more than proud of you for the steps you've taken and the story you share with all of us. So much courage and love in you...you inspire me :)

Screwed Up Texan
Screwed Up Texan

I remember your son's post...thank you for sharing your story. Sharing takes a lot of strength.

Aunt Becky
Aunt Becky

You are a brave, wonderful soul and I am so, so proud to have been able to read your story.

Mama Zen
Mama Zen

Mojo said it all. By speaking out, you are giving someone the strength and hope that they need to get out, too.

MK
MK

I also remember reading your son's post and it's chilling now to tie the two together. I'm impressed by you and your strength.

Betty Ann
Betty Ann

Oh Cat......... I know these (((hugs))) are late in coming.

Wow.. that took courage me dear to be OPEN and VULNERABLE and share this.

I've never been HIT my whole LIFE.. my father punched walls and molested me that one time.. and I slept under the bed. He took out guns and knives or put the gas stove to suffocate all us if my mother did not wake up ..

But NEVER was I hit..........

I did read it is INSIDIOUS.. starting out slowly and a very codependent relationship and a woman who grew up in a home feeling unloved might find even a slap acceptable wtih apologies .. etc. I heard different versions..

I'm so sorry for what you went through.............. and your boys too........... but I have to say that if any woman is reading this and being BEAT .. do not think they'll be as lucky as you. With not having any fatality or thinks getting better..

Some women when they press charges as you do; the husband / boyfriend becomes more vindictive and will kill a woman and the children. So it is a scary situation. In your case it was stopping what was UNACCEPTABLE..

And it has a Happy Ending......... but you were very lucky that it did....

Cat I want to send you a MILLION HUGS...........for your wounded childhood and for my wounded childhood. I don't know why I'm NOT in a nuthouse....to me being molested by my own father is one of the worse things in the world.. the man that is supposed to protect you does this to his own daughter??
Sick.

I did disown my whole family. I did get a divorce too with my husbands drinking.

I just did not count on it being genetic and my 23 year old daughter being an alcoholic but she is doing great now. I am glad I made her move out two years ago at 21.. court order.. I went to court.

The disease of alcoholism; and alcoholic etc.. is very extensive............

I'm so happy you are one of the LUCKY ones and there is a HAPPY ENDING... but I hope other women reading this do not think it will pan out the same way. And no one should be HIT Even one time. I hope you don't mind me stating that........no one should be HIT one time...not a man or a woman without immediate attention to the situation and if it happens a 2nd time than total distance.

(hugs)

MommyGeekology
MommyGeekology

Thank you for sharing. My heart hurts for your family.

Jett
Jett

You know, no matter how many of these I read I feel freshly gut-punched every time. Maybe it's because there is always at least one element to the story that resonates with me on a personal level.

I can't imagine having had to go through this with my children present....and I'm so very sorry that you had to.

Tatiana
Tatiana

I hate how abuse makes the one being abused feel embarrassed. It's so empowering for the abuser and it makes me sick.

You are amazing, Cat.

ChurchPunkMom
ChurchPunkMom

Thank you for sharing your story, Cat.
God bless you, you brave strong woman.

Mr. Nuggets
Mr. Nuggets

Cat, thank you for sharing.

The most poignant point for me (as if I could pick just one of the many things you shared) was "I have lost many friends and family who did not want to stick around and see my bruising, knowing that they were powerless to do anything about it". Ouch.

I have experienced similar losses in my life, at times I needed the support and unconditional love the most. My goes out to you.

Strength and continued healing to you!

Hope
Hope

God bless you Cat. Thanks for sharing with such honesty and vulnerability.

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