Christina, my friend, I am honored to know you. You have such a peaceful presence about you, and I know that has been cultivated from years of healing. You are strong and know I'm here for you.
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I had been willing to go to prison to stop my father’s terrible legacy, and have spent the last six years in therapy. I now speak regularly about the ordeal on behalf of rape and incest advocacy groups. In January of 2007, I went through formal media training and now make myself available for media interviews through SOAR, which stands for Speaking Out against Rape; and RAINN, the Rape Abuse & Incest National Network, BUY SILDENAFIL CITRATE NO PRESCRIPTION. I have the power to make a change.
Will my children, sister, or I ever forget the pain he caused. No, but we have survived and continue to heal. By knowing his actions aren’t our fault, that it isn’t a shameful secret, and by choosing to speak out about it, we are thriving and more powerful than we were before.
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Thank you for visiting Violence UnSilenced, a speak-out platform for survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. If you are a survivor and it is safe to do so, we encourage you to share your story here. If you are not a survivor but you want to support those who are, please click around this site and find out more about what you can do.
Great Blog!: Violence Unsilenced. Check it out. http://ow.ly/d6PR
Thank you for sharing. You are truly an inspiration, and I am in awe over the strength you had in order to put an end to such a vicious cycle.
Mine was from 9 to 16 (we have the age we left home in common). I made a deal with the devil if he didn't touch my younger sisters I wouldn't go to the police. He died a few years later. I sent the biggest bouquet of flowers they had to the funeral. Mourning? I was celebrating. My only regret was never having closure. Feeling as though I never had my chance to make him pay for what he did.
I sought out above men in my life, someone I would always have to stand up to. Years later through therapy, it was believed that was how my mind justified certain things. I wasn't standing up to the abusive me, I was still fighting my dead stepfather. 38 rolled around and so did the PTSD. Talk about reliving the nightmare.
Like you I've been vocal about what I went through. I'm an advocate against Domestic Violence. My story has made the rounds. I still hold my breath when I read of others pain, when that allusive email comes asking me what to, where to go for help, how to save themselves.
From one survivor to another. Thank you for sharing your story. I haven't talked to my mother since leaving home. She blames me for what the monster did. Your making an amazing difference with the work your doing. I can't thank you enough. (Hugs)Indigo
Bless you for speaking out and filing charges against your abuser. You are a brave woman.
I only wish the justice system had put him away for life.
Your words when you testified against him at that trial were stronger than the hammer ever could have been.
I'm so glad you got out. Thank you for your courage in sharing with us here.
I'm glad you are healing and finding life after violence. Best wishes to you and your family as you survive breaking the cycle.
Hooray for you! You HAVE used that hammer. You smashed the silence in your family and protected your kids.
Christina : Violence UnSilenced: What they might not tell you, because I didn't tell anyone myself for years.. http://bit.ly/RWeVJ
As always, I am so proud of you and feel so blessed to call you sister and friend. Your strength, grace, and loving spirit are only three of the multitude of reasons that I admire and appreciate you. It's touching to read how your words have reached and inspired so many others.
We are NOT alone. Thank you for reminding us all of that.
I love you!!!
Christina : Violence UnSilenced http://bit.ly/QbVlD
I was never brave enough to go after my molester.
Thank you on behalf of those of us who can't be so brave. I cannot imagine it being my own father. A family friend was enough of a betrayal.
OMG check this out: Christina : Violence UnSilenced: Five years, two trials and many panic at.. http://bit.ly/kYtyZ
A Pandora's Aquarium member, Christina, has her inspiring story featured on the Violence Unsilenced blog: http://tinyurl.com/qv6ltr
Christina : Violence UnSilenced http://bit.ly/15UCH8
RT @MaggieDammit: Please support today's survivor, you awesome people: http://violenceunsilenced.com/christina/
Giving Abuse Survivors a Voice-Latest Story: http://tinyurl.com/qv6ltr @MaggieDammit <--You are following Maggie, right?
You are so brave and so strong. I'm so happy to have met you, I feel honored to know you, although, like everyone else, I wish it were under better circumstances.
RT @jodifur: RT @MaggieDammit: Please support today's survivor, you awesome people: http://violenceunsilenced.com/christina/
RT @MaggieDammit: Please support today's survivor, you awesome people: http://violenceunsilenced.com/christina/
I'm horrified at what you've had to endure, and so very, VERY proud of you for standing up and refusing to stay silent. You are an inspiration! Thank you for sharing this with us.
I applaud you. I wish I could have been you, but I let my abuser go to the grave unchallenged. (except in private - where I told him I would kill him) I'm sure that you will help more people than I ever could - although I have managed to save myself and my own daughters, You will help hundreds of people and I admire you very greatly.
My own story will print here sometime soon - but without my name because I have chosen a different path to becoming whole. For some of us - we become survivors because that is the best we can do. You have become a hero. Brava.
Christina, Bless you for sharing your story with us today. It's not just your story, it's the story of your family. It is a story that society needs to hear. I am grateful for your strength and courage as you tell this. I am grateful for your faith. You don't sound like a victim. You sound like a victor!
Your words are very encouraging. Thank you for speaking up - here and in all aspects of your life.
in my eyes, and many others here i'm sure, you are a hero in every sense of the word. truly. i can't begin to describe how much of an inspiration you are for telling your story. thank you!
Thank you for writing. Thank you for speaking up and having something done about that. Your strength gives me hope that I can have that strength, but I don't think I could ever do that. I'm still too scared. But thank you for being brave and for writing. It means so much to me.
At least two of my half-siblings were sexually abused at the hands of their stepfather and his friends. It was a terrifying ordeal according to my sister, Shelly. Shelly told me of the many nights she lay in the back room of the family business while her father allowed his creepy friends and some customers to rape and molest her at a tender young age. My sister's mother always stood by her husband and that caused a deep wound for my sister as she grew older and had children of her own.
The last few years of her life her relationship with her mother became estranged as she made the final decision to have nothing to do with her mother. Her stepfather admitted to the abuse, but I dont believe ever spent any time in jail for his henious crimes. I remember meeting my sister's mother and her stepfather when I was eleven while I was visiting my sister, Shelly, and my sister would not even allow me to remain alone in the same room as him.
I have myself been the survivor of sexual abuse. I havnt told my story, but I have often wondered if I should. A part of me wants to protect the abusers and a part of me wants to speak the truth. Perhaps in the future, here, I will share my story when the time is right. Of all the abuse I endured as a child and teenager, the worst was the sexual abuse for me. It shaped my personal sexuality and my relationships with others.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are touching many other lives.
For those of us who read about this there will be four corners
corner 1: Never having experienced such, who can believe it happened?
corner2: Never having experienced such, how could your mother allow it to go on and how did you survive?
corner3: God help all of us who cringe when we use the word daddy
corner 4: How can I help?
I'm in in corner 4...hugs go your way and praise for your growth
Thank-you for sharing your story so others know they are not alone and maybe they too can find the courage to stand up to their abuser, realize that it's NEVER their fault, and find the strength to somehow continue on in life.
Thank you so much - for reminding me (still in the early stages of dealing with it all) that there's hope to not only get past what happened to me, but to use it for good.
Just being able to speak or write about it quietly is amazing, but to do as you've done and become an advocate? To be able to go that far, that's... awe-inspiring. And it gives me hope that I'll get to that point one day in my future.
I can only imagine the torment you suffered to know that he got at your daughters as well. I know how hard it is to speak up. I know of the family rendering. I see the path you chose as a wonderful tool of healing, for yourself, as you help others.
You are in my heart.
Thank you for sharing your story and for all that you do to help others in the same position you found yourself in. You sound like a truly remarkable woman.
Kudos to you for having the courage to not only stand and be counted, but mustering the strength to not allow your emotions to ruin the rest of your life by spending it behind bars. That would have been unfair to both you and your children.
I’m so sorry that you had to endure this. This was an indignity that I was spared, so I can only imagine the depth of your pain. And to lose your family in the bargain had to be nearly as bad as what you’d already suffered.
Once you’ve found your feet and your voice, only you can change your situation. When you are physically and mentally strong enough to say “no more” or “never again,” it’s amazing the power those two little words can have. It’s also good that you sought out help for yourself. I hope that it is helping you find the peace and happiness you so richly deserve.
Your story will no doubt encourage others to break their own devastating cycles. Bless you for sharing it.
My mother came from a home full of incest - as a result she was ill equipped mentally to deal with having a daughter when I came along. I am proud of survivors like yourself, you have overcome.
you have got to be the strongest person i have ever "met." thank you for amazing me with your bravery.
you are fantastic... a survivor in every possible way.
Every time I read the latest story on VU the phrase "Stronger in the broken places" comes to mind. This time is no different. I've seen stories here that had never been told before. Those writers are just now beginning to know the empowerment that comes from shattering the silence. I imagine you were once where they are now; unsure, terrified, second guessing yourself wondering if you were doing the right thing. Obviously you've come a long, long way from that place to where you are now. So thank you for coming here and letting everyone see what's possible.
Every survivor that speaks out gives a gift to those still in hiding, or still in abusive situations. Even in this age where we're more willing to bring it out of the dark than ever before, the same refrain still rings out among victims and survivors alike. "I thought I was the only one. I thought it was my fault. I thought I was somehow different, somehow less than. I thought no one could possibly understand." And every time a survivor speaks out, it reinforces the message that they're not different, not to blame, and most of all they are not alone. And to see someone who's come so very, very far. To know that it's possible to not just survive, but to thrive is the greatest gift of all.
So for all those who have yet to recognize he power of their own potentials, who have yet to believe that they're not at fault and not "different", I thank you. For your courage, for your willingness to replay your most painful memories in the hope that it will help someone else, I thank you. And someday they will thank you themselves.
Thank you for standing up and for shouting out. My family included three generations of incest before someone had the courage to stand up and shout out. Thank you for turning the pain from your experiences into advocacy work that will continue to make a difference for other people. Wonderful!