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I got pregnant again.  He went to jail on a drug charge.  I finally felt free.  He made wonderful promises to me about how jail had changed him… made him a better man.  I let him come home the day after our daughter was born. He started treating our son, who was now two, as badly as he had treated my eldest girl.  After 10 months I kicked him out. Finally. For good.  How did I finally do it?  While he was in jail I had slowly started building confidence in myself and others. BUY BUSPAR NO PRESCRIPTION, I made friends, I had support. I was not going to let him treat my babies the same way I had allowed him to treat my daughter.

He was in and out of our lives for the next 10 years or so, always displaying the same tendencies. I lived in fear of him for a long time.  But I returned to my faith. I grew strong because of my faith in Jesus Christ. Forgiveness is hard, BUY BUSPAR NO PRESCRIPTION. I have to do it practically every day.  I just trust in God’s word, “Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.”  God has brought me through to the other side.  I have experienced so much more than I ever thought possible for me to deal with, but God has built up a steel rod of strength in me and I am stronger than I ever realized.  I still get triggered. Not always, but sometimes… when people argue or say horrid things to each other. Words are much more powerful weapons than fists.  I still feel fragile sometimes…. damaged. BUY BUSPAR NO PRESCRIPTION, But I have come through it. I have survived. God has brought me to this place where I want to help other women walk through it. I am working on my AA so I can counsel other victims and survivors. Tell them that it’s ok. Tell them they DON’T deserve it.  I understand. I’ve been there. I can help.

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Diane blogs at Di's Life Photos..

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Comments

14 comments
April
April

THIS is my story too. I slapped him first. The cops told me it was my fault. I internalized that. Instead of turning to God, I turned to my inward strength and rallied myself. . . here I am over 10 years later, without him, and who knows where that SOB is. And who knows where the police are that told me it was my fault.

Aerin
Aerin

You didn't deserve it... and you are a survivor. Thanks so much for sharing your strength.

Laura
Laura

My heart aches for you for the crap you went through, but is also joyful that you've gotten you and your children out and found yourself. Congratulations on finding your voice.

moonspun
moonspun

Oh wow, Diane, this is the kind of story that I read that makes me both sick to my stomach about what happened to you and so immensely proud that you have come out the other side of it. And given yourselves and your children a different life. I can't imagine the fear or the triggers. But I can imagine how hard it was for you to speak at first and then how little, by little it got easier.
And yes, now you can help others. And thank you for doing that and for sharing yourself here. Many blessings.

Gina
Gina

Your story is much like mine, except I had no children. How these guys manipulate us! What particularly resonated with me is the switch from "You're so smart and I cherish you" to "You're a stupid piece of shit." Same happened to me...And yet we stayed... But not for ever, right?

I''m so glad you found the EXIT from that nightmare and found real life, real love and real respect for yourself. You deserve it. We all deserve it.

Thank you for sharing and inspiring others who may still be living that unreal reality.

Cin
Cin

I have told you before and I will keep on saying it - I am so proud of you and what you have done with your life and your children. I hate that I was out of your life for so long but I understand why and I wish that I had been able to do more for you back then. You are one of the strongest people I know and I'm proud to have you as my friend. I love you Di.

Lorraine
Lorraine

Diane, you are truly courageous. I wish I had known how much pain you had to go through. You inspire without even knowing, Continue your education, because no one can take that from you, follow your spiritual path, because it will give you strength, and reach to your friends and family for support because you will give them strength. I admire and respect you more than you know. If there is something I can do please do not hesitate.

Richard
Richard

Thank you for sharing your story, especially how you came through at the end.

Jennifer
Jennifer

You are awesome. And God's vengeance is so much better than we could ever dish out.

Jan
Jan

Thank God for your strength. And thank you for telling your story. Blessings upon you.

Faiqa
Faiqa

Thank you for sharing this.

evenstarwen
evenstarwen

Diane. My heart goes out to you. May God restore you and make you whole. I know He will. ((hug))

Sunny
Sunny

What a wonderful story of triumph! Thank you so much for sharing.

nic @mybottlesup
nic @mybottlesup

yes, you can help. and you are already helping by speaking out and sharing your story.

thank you.

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