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I am twenty-nine-years old, and one week. And I am trying to figure out what a healthy relationship looks like in my life. I thought I knew, but I now know I don't. I dwindle my "list" of things I look for in a guy down to four qualities: Kind, Caring, Able to Communicate, Respectful.
I have known for decades how to advocate for others, but I am just learning the lesson of how to advocate for myself.
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Ella works as a legal advocate at a non-profit supporting victims of domestic violence..
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Comments
You will figure it out....you have proven that you are strong. Blessings on your journey.
You've done nothing wrong. Thank you for sharing...things will get better...you are on your way.
It never ceases to amaze me how many survivors choose to help others who are going through similar situations. Helping is healing - I'm glad you have discovered that. Helping your clients helps you as much as it does them.
Take the same advice you give - be kind and patient with yourself. You are stronger than you know. I'm proud of you for putting words to your pain and shining a light on it by sharing it here.
You have the strength to not be a victim. Good things and good people will come into your life as you heal - and you will be able to recognize them!
I hope by know you know that you didn't do anything wrong and that you aren't for one second responsible for the choices that other people make.
I'm so sorry you endured all of this. You did nothing wrong!
The urge to question yourself, and what you did wrong is natural, but do not give in to it too often, because while you can continue to ask it, there is no answer. I appreciate the work you do for others, and I hope that brings you peace as well.
Ella, keep working at it. You'll get there. You are well on your way. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing your story. I, too, am an advocate for victims of violence, but I tolerate more in my personal relationships than I can justify. I put up with things that would make me sick if they were happening to my clients. I sometimes wonder why I think everyone deserves a healthy relationship but me. I sometimes wonder what I did wrong. I sometimes wonder if I'm alone in that, and it's good to see that someone else understands. We'll get there.
Ella http://dlvr.it/NwHM9
Ella http://bit.ly/fUMcLz #ViolencePrevention
Oh Ella! I am so sorry. Thank you for the work you do as an advocate. You haven't done anything wrong. You'll learn to fight for yourself. Just keep at it.
You'll totally get to where you want to be! We're all pulling for you :-)
Thank you for sharing your story. I know you'll get there.
Ella,
Thank you for sharing your story in such an open and honest way. Thank you for being an advocate for other women.
Peace to you.
jen
Ella,
You have done nothing wrong. Thank you for sharing your story, for being strong, for being there for others. Wishing you much peace as you continue to navigate life....
ella, my heart goes out to you. i'm a 10 year survivor of a drug induced rape, as well as a former rape victim advocate. and i too have days where i can compartmentalize, advocate for others, and struggle to put the pieces of myself back together.
you're not alone. thank you so much for speaking out and doing the much needed work that you do... for others and for yourself.
i wish you peace.
You'll get there, Ella - and know that you are intregal in the lives of so so many women & victims. Thank you for sharing your story. Blessings!!!
I work hard as an advocate... making sure others know it was not their fault and they are not alone. I also find it difficult to let those realities sink into my soul. I still have days where I feel totally at fault for my past. It's an odd thing... working so hard to heal others, and yet not being able to fix my own negative thoughts. None of what happened to you was your fault. You are an inspiration and the world is a better place because you make a true difference in the lives of others. Thank you so much for sharing... your story was very eye opening for me. Best of luck as you continue to heal both yourself and others....
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