You inspire so many people, so many little girls, so many “unsure” boys, so many scared older women who never got their story “straight,” couldn’t recall or didn’t want to recall all those horrid details that would help release the sadists’ hold.

I can be such a volatile, righteous, vengeful spirit. I use my height, my frame, my carriage, my strength and ice cold direct aim to intimidate the evil. I can imagine doing unspeakable dark things to the sadists’ that try to rob us of…ourselves. I’ve lashed out, for myself, for my sisters, I’ve hurt bullies and scared the scariest son of a bitch out there, infusing my brain with my own past’s fear and letting that fuel my rage, but I’ve graphic dreams in between night terrors, of taking control back, of doing so much more than scare them for that is not enough, of making them suffer, of torturing all those that have taken others’ spirits, their light. To be the force that the judicial system isn’t.

But, then I read your story, and see that my way is not one of healing. Not one of long-term benefits, and that vengeance will feel empty after the sadists are dead, but their memory, their hold survives. You have broken that seal. You killed that surviving hold it had on you, and everyday you grind your heel in its dusty bones, every time you wake up, every time you love or laugh or cry, every time you tell us, every time someone reads this.

Thank you, Flutter, for sharing these pieces of you, and for making yourself so whole and so female. Such an experience has yielded great suffering, but so much more belief and trust in human spirit, in the strength of a strong heart to achieve what so many are unable. Your honesty in living life, your vivacity, your real peace, to thrive and push back the ominous tendrils that could consume us, reinforces for us the good, the light, the truth and makes me want to reach towards humans, instead of hiding in the shadows.

Thank you.

You are an amazing woman, who is adept at writing both brutally and lyrically all at the same time and my god – leaving me speechless and teary eyed for that young girl who lost so much.

Thank you for this site, and for sharing your story.

I am in awe of your honesty and your perseverance in dealing with such a horrible ordeal.

I am so proud to have you in my life.

I love you.