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When I was 8, EFFEXOR australia, uk, us, usa, EFFEXOR canada, mexico, india, we were at his office and he was screaming at her in the other room. My two younger sisters and I huddled together crying as we listened to him tell her that she was a stupid bitch and not worthy of being alive, discount EFFEXOR. EFFEXOR wiki, Then he came and found us crying and said, “And I thought you were my friends.” As if your tiny children should be your friends, online buying EFFEXOR hcl. EFFEXOR FOR SALE, I grew up thinking that love was conditional. EFFEXOR gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release, If I cleaned my room, I was loved, is EFFEXOR addictive. After EFFEXOR, If I looked at him wrong, I was no longer worthy of love, low dose EFFEXOR. EFFEXOR description, If I was quiet and hung my head and begged for forgiveness when I wasn’t even sure what I’d done wrong, I was loved, australia, uk, us, usa. Purchase EFFEXOR, If I moved in a way he didn’t like, I wasn’t, EFFEXOR for sale. Even now, I push my husband sometimes, thinking there’s no way he can still love me, but he does, EFFEXOR FOR SALE. EFFEXOR pharmacy, Even when I’m nasty.
My father was the master of mind control, EFFEXOR without a prescription. Purchase EFFEXOR online no prescription, He turned us against each other until we couldn’t even trust our own blood. Even my mother would turn against us to protect herself sometimes, EFFEXOR price. EFFEXOR FOR SALE, Sisters happily passed the blame, relieved not to be the one hated for a few minutes. EFFEXOR photos, Yet, we stuck together, EFFEXOR price, coupon. Buy no prescription EFFEXOR online, We developed a sign language to warn each other of his moods, to ask questions that he could never hear. When he was angry, we cleaned, because a single crumb could make him want to call social workers to take us away.
He wasn’t always bad, and that was what made it worse. Those times when he was the happy, loving father that we dreamed of, those were the sunny spots that kept us loving him, EFFEXOR FOR SALE. And when he was angry, we strove to bring him back to the sun, to make him happy, something no child should ever be responsible for . . . making their parents happy. EFFEXOR FOR SALE, And while he never did anything more than spank us, I saw him pick up his rifle, swearing that he would kill his father and brother after
they had screwed him over and I knew that it could happen to us, too.
We grew up in fear. Even when he was happy, we edged through life, trying not to make that random misstep that would throw us all down the rabbit hole again. It took me ten years to learn not to clean like a crazy person when someone near me got angry. And now I have children of my own and I am scared. Scared because I know the same rage and ability to be a
monster is in me and sometimes, if I’m not careful, it peeks out.
I never, ever want my sons to be afraid of me.
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