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I became aware that every man did not act and react to things the way he did. I became aware of a man who spent his time in similar pursuits, yet also had integrity, peace and passion in his life. I became aware of Scott. At first he was an acquaintance of my husband from college, but his company was so enjoyable he became a frequent guest at our home. I began to regard him as first, a welcome breath of fresh air, later, (as my husband became increasingly out of control) my light at the end of a long, dark tunnel, and ultimately, my lifeline, COUMADIN FOR SALE. Buy generic COUMADIN, Once I saw that life could be joyful and not always dismal, it was as if my eyes were suddenly open for the first time in a decade. I actually began entertaining thoughts of a different life than the hellish nightmare in which I'd been drowning.
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It was during this emotionally turbulent time when I made the decision to file for divorce and reclaim my life that Scott's and my friendship really bloomed. His support and belief in me made it possible to survive those many angst-filled months. That is when we realized we had fallen in love. Order COUMADIN from United States pharmacy, He's my silver lining. COUMADIN FOR SALE, It has taken many years to reach this day where I can reflect objectively about my past. I have never spoken about it to many people - even dear friends and family know very little about this. Scott is the only person who has known about it all. More recently I have thought that my story of escaping an abusive relationship may be inspirational to a victim, potential victim or loved one, but I've never really put words to the thoughts before this moment. I suppose I needed a reason to go to the emotional and physical effort. All I can do is tell my story, with hope that it serves as guidance for someone in need of support, COUMADIN FOR SALE.
Why did I allow myself to become trapped in this type of relationship the first place. I simply didn't know any better. Domestic abuse was not widely discussed back then, especially in my family. Not to assign blame to them in any sense, but my family was too loving and caring... COUMADIN FOR SALE, and sheltering. They did not know that there were manipulative people like him in the world, so they did not know how to prepare me. They taught me that unconditional love, loyalty, and patience are the qualities that make a good marriage. It turns out that is only true if both partners are sane. I can only say to those who may be suffering through a violent relationship --your situation is not as unique as you think, and there is a better life out here on the other side of it.
I want to help people avoid becoming involved in abusive relationships.The most important thing is to educate young people about healthy relationships...we can learn to protect ourselves from falling prey to predatory personalities, COUMADIN FOR SALE. It isn't possible to "fix" an abuser any more than it is to "fix" a serial killer. The things we can control are our vigilance, awareness and action. We teach children about appropriate boundaries to arm them against sexual abuse...those same lessons need to be extended into the realm of relationships. Teach that when a partner is abusive, the only
thing it means is that there is no love or respect for you. COUMADIN FOR SALE, In the same way children are taught about "stranger danger," they need to be taught how to recognize and deflect manipulative people.Surviving such turbulent times has rewarded me by teaching me some important truths about myself. I would not be the person I am today had I not weathered this storm. I don't just think - I know - I have untapped stores of emotional strength within me. Had I never felt so weak, I would never have learned what I've got within me. The thing I'm most proud of is that I never really lost myself... and now I'm better and stronger for the experience.
***
Gina blogs at Upside Down Cats..
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Thank you for visiting Violence UnSilenced, a speak-out platform for survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. If you are a survivor and it is safe to do so, we encourage you to share your story here. If you are not a survivor but you want to support those who are, please click around this site and find out more about what you can do.
Comments
"He didn’t abuse me because I was small and vulnerable — he abused me because he felt small and vulnerable." An excellent observation! I am very happy for you that you started to take off your mask and show everyone here who you really are, what you have gone through, and where you are going. The feeling of freedom that it provides is amazing. Keep up the good work!
hugs, hugs, hugs. so proud of you for surviving and for fighting, and so happy that you have arrived where you are today.
(and i particularly liked the line, "I believe he is not an alcoholic but an assholeaholic!" teehee!)
Gina,
your story is so similar to mine. youre an inspiration, thank you for sharing this. i am so glad you are healing and safe.
Your abuse parallels mine. I place very deep inside of me was touched when you wrote, "with every hageful word or gesture, a little of my identity died." Rebuilding what was destroyed inside of me has been the biggest challenge for me since I left the relationship 15 years ago.
LOVE assholeaholic!!!!!!
God bless you for sharing your story. Know that it WILL help someone.
I wasn't raised in that manner either. My father never so much as raised his voice at my mother, much less his hand. There was no physical abuse modeled to me whatsoever.
I try to keep careful watch on my children's burgeoning relationships, as they are both new to dating. I may appear a caricature of myself sometimes in the way I try to lay down the law to (as well as attempt to put the fear of God in) potential suitors, but I don't care. I want everybody to be aware of what they are doing at all times, and to know that I will stay out of their business, but if they beat on my kid I am coming with a focused vengeance.
I've always told my boys that they are to never, ever strike a female, under any circumstance, because that is where I will draw the line and stop 'being on their side'. The inverse of that is that I tell my daughter, "If you ball up your fist and hit a man, you better stand like a man and expect what is coming." Violence in domestic situations often seems to run both ways nowadays.
You're right and have brought up a great point: Kids need to be educated in these matters. Family is for protecting, nurturing and enjoying, not manipulating and torturing; I hope I am conveying this adequately to my people so that they will never, ever find themselves in circumstances that I put and kept myself in.
Gina : Violence UnSilenced: I want to help people avoid becoming involved in abusive relationships.The most imp.. http://bit.ly/4iZr5S
Had I never felt so weak, I would never have learned what I’ve got within me. The thing I’m most proud of is that I never really lost myself… and now I’m better and stronger for the experience.
This, so many times this. You put to words what I've been feeling for the last two years, after breaking free from My Ex.
Thank you for sharing, and putting words to emotion that I couldn't place.
Gina : Violence UnSilenced: I want to help people avoid becoming involved in abusive relationships.The most imp.. http://bit.ly/42Q4MG
RT @MaggieDammit: Please support today's domestic violence survivor: http://violenceunsilenced.com/gina/
RT @MaggieDammit: Please support today's domestic violence survivor: http://tinyurl.com/yhsh48p Never know, you might just know her...
RT @MaggieDammit: Please support today's domestic violence survivor: http://bit.ly/4tEDVr - Thank you for letting Gina add her voice.
RT @MaggieDammit: Please support today's domestic violence survivor: http://violenceunsilenced.com/gina/
RT @MaggieDammit: Please support today's domestic violence survivor: http://violenceunsilenced.com/gina/
RT @MaggieDammit: Please support today's domestic violence survivor: http://violenceunsilenced.com/gina/
Gina - I am so proud of you and your strength and courage for sharing your story. I am also so grateful to Maggie for providing you and everyone with a safe and supportive place to use your voices and break this silence.
You know I think you're the best - I Love You!
Your Scott
RT @MaggieDammit: Please support today's domestic violence survivor: http://violenceunsilenced.com/gina/
RT @MaggieDammit: Please support today's domestic violence survivor: http://violenceunsilenced.com/gina/
You are so brave and such an inspiration. I know someone is going to read this and gather strength from you.
Those last two paragraphs -- what a lesson. I was just talking about this with someone the other day. Thank you, and I'm so glad you were able to escape a life of abuse and make a happy life for yourself.
Thank you for the objective and curiously fascinating explanation of why you stayed. More than anything, thank you for sharing. You are a brave soul.
You are so right about the need to educate our children. Young woman, particularly, are vulnerable to being trapped by their sense of obligation to an abuser.
Thank you for sharing your story. And even more, thank you for saying that nobody could have done anything for you to cause you to leave until you were ready. That is such a true message.
I'm glad you found your silver lining!
I got as far as "Not an excuse, but an explanation" and had to take a walk. "This is going to be a hard one.", I was thinking. "Because she's not going to realize that she doesn't need an excuse... or an explanation".
This, however, is one of those many times I'm just stupid happy to be wrong.
I was wrong because it wasn't an explanation as much as an objective discussion of fact. I was wrong because you realize that it was his problem, and not yours. I was wrong because you do understand that it's not you that needs an excuse. And perhaps most of all I was wrong because you've learned that the right question isn't "why do you stay?" but "why does he hurt you?".
And that makes me just stupid happy.
I'm happy that you've found the life on the other side, like the incredibly courageous survivors I met on Tuesday evening. Like them, you have moved beyond the darkness of what was to discover the light of what can be. and most of all I'm happy -- and grateful -- that you've come here to show those others who haven't come this far yet that there is a future, a life without fear and sorrow and darkness if you can only get there.
You said you had to figure it out for yourself, that it had to be your idea. But would you have gotten the idea sooner if someone had told you this story? the story of your own life told by someone you didn't even know? Only you could ever answer that question, and you may not even know the answer. But I promise you that it will be enough for someone to "get the idea".
You have offered up a great gift here. Laid your most painful memories on the altar of the greater good and given hope to someone you (probably) don't even know. And that gift will mean a life. A life that might have been lost, or one that might have been irretrievably damaged. A life that will now have hope in its future rather than despair.
For that I give you my most heartfelt thanks.
I applaud you for choosing to use your story to help other women find their strength and escape what they never deserved. I know so many girls and young women who might be in a different situation now if someone had just taken a little time to show them what love should -- and shouldn't -- feel like.










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