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Comments

21 comments
Liz
Liz

Pervasive emotional abuse. That's the first time I have written those words. I have been married for 19 years. I have 3 kids. I am a professional at being emotionally abused. I am so scared to try to get out. He is an attorney and has that information parked in front of my mind like a yellow Ryder truck. He dares me. I am crazy.

Giddy
Giddy

Wow. Just: wow@ i ris. "Just emotional abuse," WTF!!?, I agree, completely.. as my ex's lawyer argued just this week, "CPS found physical abuse determined as inconclusive , and emotional abuse substantiated... And it was 'only' emotional abuse... so my client really has no problem" and the judge let her know that emotional abuse is Even Worse as far as he's concerned. I was SO HAPPY to hear that. Finally the damn system is starting to work. I've been trying for years.

I-ris
I-ris

Thank you all for your warm and heart-felt support. I am somewhat easily overwhelmed, especially by this sort of thing. I am encouraged by all survivors and sur-thrivors who tell their story. and if I am able to help even one person improve her circumstance, it will all be worth it. Love and blessings to you all.

"I-Rise" (thank you for that one Marie, I will be sharing it!)

Deb Rox
Deb Rox

I-ris, your poem, and your story, and you...all amazing. I'm lighting a candle tonight and reading your poem again. Thank you for sharing it.

Marie
Marie

Thank you for sharing your story I-Rise, a difficult and tough one but your voice is there. I appreciate your courage as I can only imagine how hard it is to remember these dark times and everything you loose. But you found the energy to stand up again, you are a survivor that makes a difference, a voice there to help the ones who suffer again and again.
Have a blessed future you deserve.

Fernanda
Fernanda

Hello, I just found this website and I think it is wonderful to finally find a "place" on wich "Emotional Abuse" is included...I finished an abusive marriage in January of 2006, not only was fisical violence going on, but since I gathered my strenght and called the police one day he was fisically hurting me, and after he was released from jail, the emotional abuse became the staple... I also was accused of battering my ex-husband and spent one night in jail, in my case the officers did not find any lacerations on him it was my word against his, but since he was the one who called the police, they took me anyways. I called the domestic violence hotlines (back then) asking for support on the emotional abuse I was going through and the only thing the person could tell me was that if there were no marks on my body they could not do anything...that asfixiating sense of being powerless, unable to do something to stop that...After all those years I still am recovering from that...Thats my shortened story, to let you know that I relate, that I still sometimes feel powerless and angry when I hear or read stories like yours, To let all know that I, too want to be a part of the solution. I confess that some times I do not know where to start or go, but right now, with all my heart, I want to show my support ...It takes a very strong woman or man to live through an abusive relationship, It takes a very strong being to put an end on it, to push away the "shoe" that was stepping on us, and an even stronger being to deal with the post trauma that surfaces afterwards as the years go by. We are Strong and rise proud because we are not victims we are responding,solving and owning who we are NOW not been silent or ashamed of what we have lived.
I leave this message with all my heart, with Love and feeling greatful and understand.

MommaKiss
MommaKiss

Thank you for sharing your story and I hope that others who may be in the same situation realizes that abuse is abuse. I wish you well.

Fran
Fran

I-ris, I'm glad that you've spoken out (here and in the public forum and at the school and everywhere that you present yourself as a survivor), claiming victory and demonstrating your ability to overcome. Your spirit is strong. You are a great role model as you continue to search for the positive in the past and strive ever upward for your future. You are an encouragement for others.

I-ris
I-ris

Thank you Sarah, Jennifer, and especially Frelle.
This was actually written two years ago, after a school administrator and school counselor met with me regarding my speaking out for the first time and reading that poem publicly.
My daughters school principal was concerned because after this news hit the local paper, (who published my full name and shouldnt have) my childrens father and his then girlfriend went to the school and tried to "set things straight."
The principal actually was the person that asked me "was it JUST emotional abuse?" I don't think there are words to describe how dumbfounded I was to be sitting there with those "professionals" and hear that. At that point the meeting was over.

Frelle, I wish you Godspeed on your journey. It's not an easy one. It's been four years since I left, and I am still recovering. Mostly from the injustice of the court system that I thought would protect my daughters and me. Please please PLEASE get counseling. and find something you can do just for you. My soul needed nurturing more than I could have possibly known and it needed it from me, not an outside source.

Isabelle
Isabelle

It's almost impossible for someone who has not been through it to know how terrible 'just emotional abuse' can be. It's a terrifying, debilitating nightmare. It’s living hell, truly. I’m so sorry he took everything away from you, but know you did the right thing in leaving. People in abusive relationships do read these stories, and your story of courage in leaving a horrible situation will give strength to others. Thanks for sharing and stay strong.

Frelle
Frelle

Thank you for speaking out and sharing your story. I've been emotionally, verbally, and psychologically abused.. and I understand your quandary about how to answer someone who questions the validity of the abuse you underwent bc there were no bruises or cuts visible. You just dont even know what to say to them, I understand. Im so glad you got out and are recovering. I am almost out and recovering too.

Jennifer
Jennifer

Wow. Amazing how losing everything became salvation. You are awesome.

Sarah
Sarah

I-ris, you are an amazing and remarkable person. I applaud your courage and your strength, and I thank you for sharing your story here.

Peace.

Iris
Iris

Liz, if there is anything I want people to take from this, it is that there IS HOPE. Please do not give up that hope. Please, please, PLEASE seek out help from a domestic violence shelter. Even if you do not leave, you can get counselling that will help you through this.

You've written those words, and that is a first step toward your recovery. keep going. even if they are small steps, they are still steps.

I wish you love and light!

Iris
Iris

I am SO happy to hear that you have a Judge who seems to know about these issues! I think my judge did too, however our "friend" of the court referee did not.

I hope your court battles are over, and your children came out with the best possible outcome! <3

Iris
Iris

Thank you Deb. I am honoured.

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