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Jenni writes at Mommy Nani BooBoo and tweets as @MommyNaniBooBoo.
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Thank you for visiting Violence UnSilenced, a speak-out platform for survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. If you are a survivor and it is safe to do so, we encourage you to share your story here. If you are not a survivor but you want to support those who are, please click around this site and find out more about what you can do.
Comments
Thank you for reminding me that it's okay that we're still afraid of the dark sometimes. The 30 year old me still gets frustrated with the traumatized 3 year old and the broken 20 year old, but i remind myself that I am a work in progress and I should be grateful for surviving. I am grateful for a happy carefree 3 year old daughter who lights up my soul. Thank you for speaking up and reminding me that small little setbacks dont define me, just a reminder of how far i've come.
Been thinking of you today.
All my love forever sister.
I'm without words. You are amazing, even more so for acknowledging the cracks. Life's road is long - I'm so glad that you've found peace and love.
This was very hard to read.
I began, then stopped.
Then made myself read it from bottom to top...less painful for me that way.
I have fat tears falling now over you.
You innocent little 8 year old girl.
Now, I feel so angry and helpless, because I want you to never have to jump or startle or fear the dark.
I want you to be free of worry.
~~I feel as if the wind has been knocked out of me...
Absolutely Astounding.
"And her soul died."
NO! You survived. You are telling your story. You are Amazing.
Thank You so much.
I had no idea. I'm so sorry that this happened to you...or that it happens to anyone for that matter. I know that that moment in time shapes who you are and what you will become but I am so thankful...so so thankful...that you are here to speak this story with your own voice. You are incredible! Thank you for sharing your spirit with all of us.
be well,
Gretchen
If I ever find that monster I will make him fed to crocodiles....
So much love to you. I understand. You are brave, and I hope you keep being kind to her/you.
I feel for you and I'm so sorry that you ever had to go through this.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are incredibly brave. May you continue on your path to healing.
"She floated above her bed, and watched it all."
This line so resonates with me. This is exactly how I felt, but no one seemed to understand. Thank you so much for sharing.
You bring up the point so very well that dealing with violence perpetrated against us is a process rather than an event. I am so happy to hear that you are granting yourself the time and patience it takes. Recovery is a "one step at a time" kind of thing. You're not letting these events define who you are - you are rising above them. Keep being kind to yourself - that's really the most important thing.
That was an unbelievable post. It truly is beyond words to me how terrible this world can be. And how people treat others so despicably. I can not apologize enough for that horrible and shattering experience. It's times like those it makes me sad to be a man. But it's strong and powerful women like yourself that make other men in this world try and set an example to glorify women and not destroy them. Thank you for sharing your story, my best to you and your family. And I truly hope every feeling you have from now on is a happy one :) It was a pleasure meeting you.
Jenni Chiu (Mommy Nani Booboo) http://dlvr.it/F8RFf
Jenni, I am just beginning to get to know you through your writing, but this hit me like I was reading a letter from an old friend. Your honesty and writing ability have made this trauma so real to me. I am sickened that you, or any young woman, had to go though this. And I want to thank you for shedding some light on how this violent act affected you- a dear friend of mine was raped, in her own home, when she was in her mid-twenties. Now, over ten years later, I can see that is is still with her. In everything she does. Now, I get it. Thank you. Sending you hugs now...
That was brave and honest. Thank you for providing the duelling perspectives that a lot of people don't know can co-exist.
This was so beautifully written I got Goosebumps. You are so brave and courageous. Thank you for sharing your story.
I couldn't control my tears.. very happy that you are well on the path of healing..
Thank you for writing this. Your third person account feels like it will help me with my own therapy and healing. Thank you.
I've never endured sexual/physical abuse or assault; I know I'm lucky. Bad things do happen to good people, innocent people. This could happen to anyone of us, simply by virtue of being born female. So I can imagine myself in that situation, with empathy. Tell that little girl inside you there is nothing she did to bring this on--NOTHING. She simply fell into the path of a predator; predators are often cunning, stalking their prey ahead of time, finding the chink in the armor which will allow the blow to be struck. Thankfully, you are alive. Thankfully, you had a friend to help you. You reported. You did everything right. You sought help. You did not, dear little girl, dear young woman, die that night--your spirit "left" to protect you. You survived. And now, even though there are scars, the blessings you list, the sense of humor you cultivate express even more loudly: I LIVED! I LIVE!
Thank you for sending me here. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for surviving. Thank you for thriving. Thank you for speaking out. I can't imagine, but you are a strong and brave soul. Thank you.
Dear sweet friend....I love you much.
Wow, it must have been terribly difficult, yet somehow cathartic to write that. I admire your bravery, thank you.
oh my goodness. i am sorry this happened to you. thank you for having the courage to share with others. may you continue to heal each day. blessings to you.
xoxo
terri
So strange to grieve for you and celebrate your survival all in the same moment. I am so horribly sorry that this...these things have happened, but so very glad that you have found your voice and shared it with me, with all of us. Not just here, to tell this story, which is brave and necessary, but every day with your humor and love, embracing the world, attacking it even. Sometimes. When necessary. You are heard and felt every time you speak.
Amazing...I am so sorry that this happened to you...I am so thankful that you spoke about it.
I am sorry for spelling you Jenny , Jenni. Lots of love xx
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Incredible, Jenni. You are so brave, so strong and a survivor. Thank you for sharing your story. Hugs to you.
Jenni, YOU are an amazing woman! THis is an awful experience that happened TO you. You didn't cause any of it. I am amazed...amazed at all that you are. You are beautiful!
You are incredible, brave, strong, a survivor. You're inspiring.
I did not know you had been through such horror. I can't even imagine how traumatic such an experience would be. I'm sure it was very painful to relive it as you wrote this. But hopefully it was somehow healing, too. Your willingness to share your horror has to power to help so many. What incredible courage!
Wow. Beautifully written. I feel like whatever I say would seem...so little, so pointless. So thanks for writing.
Once again your honest and strong voice hold in it the grace and the courage to speak out, not just for yourself, but for the millions of other women that share in your struggle. Your ability to unfold yourself like a morning flower, just waking to first light and the misty air, allows us to see inside the vibrant and beautiful lily, still held in the safe hot house of her own design.
Tears shed in the dark are less dense than the ones that trace your heart at dawn. The knowing that you have lost something vital to the core of your womanhood you then emerge, like a phoenix, ablaze from the ashes staging a courageous fight to reclaim it. To once again own yourself and reclaim the power, never realizing that it had been there all along.
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do," at least according to Eleanor Roosevelt. I should know, I too fight to escape the emptiness and shame of my own rape and the years I spend under the thumb, and fist, of man I thought I loved.
Thank you for bringing your soul to the table and the honesty to claim what we all have felt like; A Victim. But please remember, they only have power over us if we allow what they did to shape and define all the days, hours and minutes of the rest of our lives.
Your are alive. You are not a victim. You do have the power and the strength. You're the Phoenix. And you’re my Friend and I Love you.
You are amazing. And what a powerful reminder of the strength of our spirit and the importance of being kind to ourselves.
Thank you for sharing. You are so, so brave.
Be gentle with you. You deserve that much after what you endured. You are brave. Thank you for sharing your story. That is brave AGAIN.
If u read 1 thing today http://violenceunsilenced.com/jenni-chiu-mommy-nani-booboo let it b this! @MommyNaniBooboo U R Amazing!
A survivor twice, you are a triumph of strength. What a powerful way to mark seven years post event. The exquisite way you told this painful story -- the move from she to I in your clear and aching prose-- said so, so much about the necessary detachment of trauma and the necessary work and will it takes to come back whole. Thank you for reminding me of that arduous marathon--no wonder we get tired sometimes, right? You clearly are remarkable, in many gorgeous ways. Love to you.
Just this, Jenni: {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}
A deep embrace, much support and lots of love. xo
Thank you. You are amazing.
One of the hardest things about recovery is learning how to be gentle with ourselves. Thank you for posting and reminding all of us not be be so harsh with ourselves.
I am stunned that you are at the place you are right now. It speaks volumes about the kind of person you are. And three locks? Seriously? I am just disgusted by this person...please tell me he was caught and is now in prison for life?
Oh Jenny, I am so sad that this happened to you. I am also honored that you shared your story with me. Yes, you need to be gentle with yourself, you are amazing, and I understand now why you have the fears and hesitations that you do. This should not happen to anybody, but it does- and you are so brave for telling your story. I salute you and send you a great big hug from Down Under.xxx
wow, powerfully written, very moving story. You are a strong Survivor and an inspiration. I'm so sorry this happened to you, I am honored that you shared your story with us
Peace,
Jenny
PLS Support: Jenni Chiu (Mommy Nani Booboo) http://bit.ly/dXXmFS
Dear Jen, my sister in survival,
You exude strength, courage, honesty, and introspection. You are an amazing woman, a powerful woman...and sometimes being powerful is admitting that you are, or have been, afraid.
You have built a life-giving, meaningful reality for yourself despite your perpetrator's most effort-full attempt to annihilate you and freeze your existence. That is the most beautiful, the most forceful, the most amazing power that exists.
All my love and support.
Although I have read each and every story on Violence UnSilenced, I have never commented. I was just at a loss for words. But your story bears very many similarities to what happened to me 12 years ago, and I have to say THANK YOU for being so brave and amazing. This gives me hope that I can do it, too.
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