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I remember lying on the living room floor, herbal ALTACE. He was hovering over me again, BUY ALTACE NO PRESCRIPTION. I knew what he wanted to do. I tried to bargain with him. ALTACE dangers, I told him I wouldn’t tell if he didn’t do it again. For a moment, I thought he’d accept. BUY ALTACE NO PRESCRIPTION, It seemed like a good deal to me. I didn’t want to have to tell anybody, ALTACE for sale. I didn’t want anybody to know. I didn’t want to get my friend in trouble. ALTACE long term, I don’t remember him taking my clothes off the second time. I don’t remember him touching me again, BUY ALTACE NO PRESCRIPTION. All I remember is fear. I was scared of what he would do. I was scared because I knew I’d have to tell my parents, purchase ALTACE online. I remember feeling horribly defeated. BUY ALTACE NO PRESCRIPTION, There’s nothing after that. I don’t remember the second rape, but I know it happened.

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The next day, police were at our house. They wanted me to tell them what he did, but I didn’t want them to know. I didn’t want him to get in trouble, and this was way more trouble than I could have ever imagined. BUY ALTACE NO PRESCRIPTION, I still thought he was my friend. I hid in the back yard. I waited behind the fence, watching for them to leave so I could come back out.

He denied raping me. The police said there wasn’t enough evidence. I never saw him again, BUY ALTACE NO PRESCRIPTION. Days, maybe weeks later, I knew his mom had been over to visit. I was mad that nobody had told me they’d been over to visit. I missed seeing them. I didn’t understand why I wasn’t allowed to see my friend. BUY ALTACE NO PRESCRIPTION, It was almost ten years later before it made sense.

I wish someone had taken the time to explain what happened. They let me hide. They encouraged me to keep quiet. I’ve been hiding in silence ever since. I’ve worried more about protecting others than I have about helping myself, BUY ALTACE NO PRESCRIPTION. It’s okay if people are shocked or sad or angry. I’m no longer taking responsibility for shielding the world from the effects of violence. I won’t hide it any longer.

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Comments

17 comments
JuniperLimb
JuniperLimb

It's not your burden to carry. He hurt you. It's his shame. And you are so brave to share it.

xxlylmousexx
xxlylmousexx

~hugs you if I could~ Thank you for writing all this down. I know it is hard, confusing and devastating. You are strong and taking your life back, that is what matters. I pray light will guide your life now.

anon
anon

My heart goes out to you that you went through this and that you are still struggling with it. I am so proud of you for speaking out about it, for telling your story. The more you talk it through, the more you will be able to process it. Rape, molestation, any abuse, does not define you. That is not who you are. You also should not hide it away out of fear or shame. You did nothing wrong.

My daughter was between 4 and 5 when she was abused by our neighbors grandson and she disclosed to us right before her 6th birthday. I can't even imagine how hard it was for her to tell us that it happened. I know she was terrified. I know she was hurting. I know she was angry with her friend and she couldn't understand how her friend could hurt her like that. I know that she was angry at us for not knowing and for not protecting her. She is 7 1/2 now and while she is doing so much better and in therapy and working through it, it still is constantly with her and with us. I pray every day that she will get through and be all that I know she is. I hope the same for you.

Tori
Tori

Thank you so much for writing out your story. I think maybe it's time that I speak out, too. Thank you so much, you're amazing.

krrobi
krrobi

--No. More. Silence. Ever...Never. Keep telling ( screaming ) your story.

BRAVA. Bravo.

You are Amazing. You are a survivor. x

My Inner Chick http://myinnerchick.com

AnissaMayhew
AnissaMayhew

You have done such a brave thing and I am amazed by the strength it takes every day to keep being you. But you do it, and you do it so well. Thank you.

StacyMorrison
StacyMorrison

Jessica, I'm so proud of you. I am applauding you. Thank you for taking these steps, for telling your story, for not being worried or ashamed or concerned about the feelings and concerns of others. That is your right! I think one of the greatest privileges in life is to be one another's witnesses, through the good and the bad. So i am proud and happy to be here today as your witness and watch you start to shed all that was placed upon your too-young shoulders when everyone else wanted to pretend it hadn't happened. I see you. I see you clearly. And I can see you starting to see yourself. Keep your eyes open wide! And remember that life offers joyful surprises as well as heartbreaking ones, and I konw there's joy for you around the corner. With love, SLM

Alicia
Alicia

Thank you for sharing your story. I know it wasn't easy to do.

CassandraPheonix
CassandraPheonix

Thank you for sharing this. For sharing with "the rest of the world" and other surivivors. For years I convinced myself I was just the rest of the world. Coming to terms with what I survived at that same age has been difficult. The five-year-old you did nothing wrong. She was an innocent and unaware little girl. I hope to be able to see the five-year-old me the same way soon.

Nadine
Nadine

I am heart sick that your biggest worry was that your parents would get mad at you & you couldn't see your friend. Thank You. Thank You for being brave enough to tell about it now and then.
I'll Stand By You- Nadine

Redneck Mommy
Redneck Mommy

I'm just heartbroken that any person, let alone a fiver year old, had to experience this. I'm sorry you endured this. Peace to you.

MyBottlesUp
MyBottlesUp

thank you for using your voice. you are brave, and i wish you peace.

BethinWV
BethinWV

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. As a young rape survivor I know the confusion. Not knowing what was going on or how to tell someone. You are so brave and so strong for sharing.

Kathryn1124
Kathryn1124

I'm so sorry this happened to you, Jessica. It enrages me to think of someone doing this to a little girl, to anyone. Thank you for speaking out. Someone will read this and know they're not alone and that it's not their fault. Peace to you.

SarahPMiller
SarahPMiller

Jessica, I am so sorry for what you had to endure. Thank you for sharing your story here: your strength and courage is awe-inspiring. I wish you peace and healing in the future.

maria
maria

I can't tell you how sorry I am for what happened and I know how hard it must have been to go to that dark corner and try to remember, but above all, write it all down. You are now free. You are BEYOND brave. ( h u g )

::maria

Donna P
Donna P

Thank you for sharing, Jessica. I know it must have taken a lot of courage to think about that event in your life again. No five year old should have to endure that. And no 5 year old or 30 year old should have to feel ashamed for another person's heinous actions. You are a survivor. Take care, Donna

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