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I work in family violence now. And I deal with men who beat women and children everyday. And I've never let go of that scared young girl in the dorm room who thought she would lose her virginity via rape.
And I never judge women who stay.
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Thank you for visiting Violence UnSilenced, a speak-out platform for survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. If you are a survivor and it is safe to do so, we encourage you to share your story here. If you are not a survivor but you want to support those who are, please click around this site and find out more about what you can do.
I hadn't been back here in a while and just wanted to say again how much your comments and support have meant. And I've gotten emails that I have inspired others to tell their story and that means the world.
I think we'd all like to think we'd walk away, but you can't know. Whether it's your first serious love and you think you'll never find anyone else, or the father of your children, violence against women is more complicated than it seems on the surface.
Thanks for sharing this. I hope it helps other women get help if they need it.
It's amazing that you've turned your story into a positive motivation to help others in similar situations. Thank you for trusting us with this piece from your past.
Not judging? Probably the best thing to do. You are amazing, going through that and now helping people in similar situations. Good for you - thanks for sharing.
Amazing story - I'm so glad your friend happened by when he did! I think the best protection we can give our children is to teach them to believe in their worth, and not allow anyone to treat them with anything less than respect.
Thank you for sharing this!
Thank God you were rescued...and that the resucer had the guts to actually stop that guy. Young, older and old, we all make mistakes, misjudge
things, do things that on hind sight aren't good for us or someone else. And experience can be turned to good like your doing, helping others to overcome.
I shuddered for your young self, reading this. Thank God for male friends who care enough to kick some ass when it's warranted.
I have visited this site several times but never commented until now.... Your story, along with so many others are very emotional to me because I was there for years.... Congratulate yourself on getting out and staying out.
I remember being a dorky girl who would have, and did, do anything my first college boyfriend wanted. He wasn't violent, but if he had been....
So I understand your story. And I am so glad that it ended when it did.
Thanks for your courage!!!
Good for you for turning your horrible experience into helping others. Those women you serve must breath a sigh of relief when they speak to you - they might not know what you went through, but they can tell that you understand them.
Thank you for making a difference.
Wow Jodi, you are very brave for sharing your story. I'm so glad that your male friend walked in and that you did get out of that relationship.
I'm so happy that friend walked into the unlocked room. So many would have been too afraid to, for so many reasons.
Thank you for posting that tremendous story, I'm glad you got away before it could have been harder and more dangerous to your safety and your life. And its good to see how you pay-it-forward by assisting women and children in such a similar plight!
I'm glad that you are able to talk about your story now; that you feel safe enough now that you've put it behind you. I hope by sharing and through your work you are able to help so many other women who are going through the same tragic situations as you did.
So glad your friend came in when he did. So many young girls don't know what to do when they are in that situation, hopefully this story can help other young girls.
Wow, Jodi, it must have been hard for you to tell that, but thank you. I've got more than a decade until I have to worry about my little girl in that way, and I have no idea what I'll say to her.
Jodi- Thanks for sharing your horrific story and turning your experience into one of advocacy for women, children, and all victims of domestic violence. The world is a better place because of the work you do.
Jodi, you are such a solidly good person. I am so sorry this happened to you. I feel good that people like you are looking out for other women (and children and men) in this situation.
I can't imagine. I just can't imagine it- I think I'd do something totally different, but like you, I just don't know. Looking back, I would probably have done the same thing. Thank you for sharing this story.
Today's survivor story is @jodifur , an attorney in Washington D.C. http://violenceunsilenced.com/jodi/
Wow, Jodi. Thank you for sharing such a powerful piece.
It saddens me when I realize how many of my female friends have some type of domestic violence story to share...myself included.
the question is not why the abused stay but why the abusers hit. asking why women stay always strikes me as blaming the victims. i am glad your friend was there.
crap, Jodi - I never knew. I am so glad you got out, that your friend was where he needed to be when he was.
My sister was abused by her first husband, and to this day I regret that I just called the cops the night he hit her at our house, instead of taking one of the hand 2X4s that we had lying around because of my dad's kitchen renovations and smacking him upside the head, because she wouldn't press charges. It took him trying to kill her before she got out. Thank you for doing what you do, and helping women like her.
Today's survivor story courtesy of @jodifur , an attorney in Washington D.C. http://violenceunsilenced.com/jodi/
Thank you for sharing your story with all of us. I am quite convinced that the statistics are wrong. It has to be more than one in four...has to be.
I'm sad that you had to experience all this and I commend you on the work you do on a daily basis to help defenseless woman and children. The world could use a lot more people like you.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am so glad that you are okay.
DV is all about fear and control. I would never judge someone who stays...it makes me so incredibly sad though.
Thank goodness for your friend coming to your rescue!
I'll never claim to understand "the why" of violence, but in your case, perhaps you needed to experience that in order to be able to help so many women now?
Thanks for sharing.
Jodi, I hope this site and this post are around in 13 years when my twin girls are getting ready to head off to college. For everything I will have taught them... sometimes reading someone's true story is what sticks.
You did the best you could with what you had at the time. It's all we ever can do. And college is a new place, far away from family and everything. I hope to drill into my daughters that no matter where they are, if they feel awkward, if they think they did something....violence is not ok and it's not their fault. It's also nothing to be embarrassed about. If it happens, tell someone, get help, and if someone tells you, do what you can to help them.
Thanks for sharing your story. I know you've made a difference in the lives of others.
I don't advocate violence either, but I have to say that I was happy to read that your friend beat up your abusive boyfriend. I hope it smartened him up. Also, good for you for choosing the career that you did! The world needs more people like you in it. :)
Thank goodness someone beat some sense into him. Even moreso, it's wonderful that you have become an advocate for women, having gone through this yourself. You are very strong and do tremendously important work. Many thanks for sharing so much of yourself.
Thank you for your story, and most especially, that you for not judging. I think I would have escaped much faster way back then had I found someone who didn't judge me. It's one of the most powerful tools to help.
Jodi- I'm so glad you did get out, and are where you are. I also see why it would be so hard to get out at the time, and I don't judge those who stay. But I'm glad you're there to help them. (hugs)
I've often said it's not a matter of intelligence, more one of fear...and even then sometimes the fear is a standby. It's a question that haunts me, the why did you stay, what were you thinking questions. 6 years later I have some of the answers, however I doubt I'll fully understand it.
All I can do is continue to tell my story. I've been voicing every bruise and broken bone for a few years now. I have women approach me with questions I wish I had asked, known to ask way back then. No, I'm not a counselor. I've found women are more likely to talk to someone who has been there and that would be my expertise - the one who survived. Thanks for sharing your story dear friend. Thank you for continuing to be an advocate that doesn't question the why...(Hugs)Indigo