One day the shame will go away. I promise this. Just take each day one at a time. One day youll begin to realize that it is a little easier to deal with. the memories unfortunately never fade but are replaced with a sense of pride that you SURVIVED! thank you so much for being brave and letting the world know. that is the first step. I want you to know that you are beautiful and strong. that you are worthy of love.
BUY IMDUR NO PRESCRIPTION, December 1 2007, I am in eighth grade. Low dose IMDUR, It was a hard year, I was mad at the world, IMDUR photos, IMDUR alternatives, cutting myself, had an eating disorder and was doing any drug I could get my hand on, purchase IMDUR online no prescription. IMDUR brand name, My speech and debate team was doing a tournament at the local high school and my ex-boyfriend who was a freshman in high school was helping out at the tournament. He said he wanted to catch up with me, IMDUR use, Order IMDUR online overnight delivery no prescription, but he wanted to do it in private so he took me to the band hallway of the high school and we sat down against the wall and started talking. It was like old times when we were dating, IMDUR reviews, Discount IMDUR, he made me feel safe. He put one of his headphones in my ears and we started listening to his dark depressing music, BUY IMDUR NO PRESCRIPTION. We started making out but some kid saw us so we went to find somewhere more private....this place was the handicapped stall of the girls bathroom, IMDUR wiki. Buy cheap IMDUR no rx, We started giving each other oral sex, but I had never done it before so I wasn’t aware at the time that what I was doing was actually oral sex, IMDUR treatment. IMDUR for sale, He pulled my leggings down and pulled my dress up over my head. He pulled his pants and boxers down and got on top of me, buy IMDUR no prescription. BUY IMDUR NO PRESCRIPTION, I started screaming NO NO NO I don’t want to do this. IMDUR australia, uk, us, usa, He didn’t listen, I tried to fight and kick him and hit him and bite him, IMDUR steet value, Online buying IMDUR hcl, but I’m 4'10 and 90 pounds and he is 6'2 and 230 pounds. I screamed but we were in a pretty secluded part of the building, where can i order IMDUR without prescription. Get IMDUR, The rape lasted about thirty minutes and when he was done, he got up pulled his pants up and walked out, IMDUR samples. Canada, mexico, india, I put my clothes on and walked out to go to the award ceremony for the speech tournament. When I got to where my classmates where the teacher asked me if I was alright all I said was he took something from me, and I can’t get it back, BUY IMDUR NO PRESCRIPTION. Then I went to sit down, IMDUR street price. Buying IMDUR online over the counter, After the speech tournament I went to babysit for a family for four hours, then I went home and took a shower and another shower and another shower, IMDUR from mexico. Taking IMDUR, At school two days later the teacher had figured out what happened or what she thought had happened because Spencer ( my rapist) had bragged about having sex with me to her son. She reported it to the counselor who reported it to the police, online buy IMDUR without a prescription, What is IMDUR, but they didn’t report a rape....they reported unlawful sex on school property at a school sponsored event, meaning I was just as much as fault as Spencer, doses IMDUR work. BUY IMDUR NO PRESCRIPTION, They called me into the office to talk to me about my punishment, but the counselor who I was very close with knew something else was up. Rx free IMDUR, She took me out of the room and asked me for the whole story...I looked away...She asked me if I was raped...and I just started crying. They then reported the rape to the police who made me go get a rape kit even though I washed away all the evidence and shredded the clothes I had been wearing, IMDUR without a prescription. All they found from the rape kit was bruising and a torn hymen. I didn’t want to press charges cause I knew that Spencer was bi-polar and often went off his medicine, plus the cops said there wasn’t enough evidence for a case anyway. Spencer got suspended for six weeks, BUY IMDUR NO PRESCRIPTION.
I got pregnant because Spencer didn’t use a condom and I didn’t tell anyone in time to get the morning after pill. I miscarried at four months. I wasn’t ready for a baby, I was only fourteen and I hadn’t told my parents. After the rape they weren’t very supportive they denied it ever happened and avoided the topic at all costs. BUY IMDUR NO PRESCRIPTION, When I miscarried the school counselor took me to the emergency room not my parents. I was such a mess then any kid I had would have turned out totally screwed up, but part of me was upset when I lost my baby, I still can’t walk through the baby clothes section without crying.
I still wake up in the middle of the night from flashbacks of the rape. I miss Spencer. Not the Spencer who raped me but the Spencer I used to know who wrote me poems and gave me roses. I still feel like the rape was my fault , if only I hadn’t gone into that bathroom stall with him, BUY IMDUR NO PRESCRIPTION. I feel dirty and ashamed. When does the shame go away. When can I go a week without thinking about that day. When is December 1 going to be just another day.
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Thank you for visiting Violence UnSilenced, a speak-out platform for survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. If you are a survivor and it is safe to do so, we encourage you to share your story here. If you are not a survivor but you want to support those who are, please click around this site and find out more about what you can do.
When something is taken that is not given, it is always confusing and hard. I respect you in working through this and hope that you grown in strength. You are supported! huggles mouse
It will happen. It can take a very long time but it happens and then you're so very surprised to realize it! And then you mourn that a little. But then, you're free. Not free of the memory or the abuse but free of the calendar.
Dear everyone who commented on my post thank you so much for the kind words. Becoming unsilenced was rather scary for me but it feels liberating. I hope that my story can continue touch others. Surviving abuse or rape is never easy but I feel that websites like this are a great way to turn our pane into something positive and help others and create awareness.
I think you're brave and amazing for writing about this. I'm so sorry your parents don't offer the support you need but I think you're an incredible person and I have no doubt that you'll be able to get past this. I want to particularly thank you for talking about the pregnancy. I was just thinking in these last few days, as I deal with my own experiences, that nobody ever talks about what happens when you get pregnant. I'm so sorry for all that's happened.
I'm sorry for your pain but so glad you're here to tell your story. None of what happened to you (or me or anyone else here) was your fault. We aren't the sick ones. We aren't broken. I can't promise you December 1st will ever be just another day but hopefully with some time and support... it will get better.
Oh Jourdan! The shame isn't yours, it's his. Understand that this was not your fault. You are worth being treated well. You deserve poems and roses from someone that respects you.
Jourdan, I am so sorry for the pain you've experienced. This was NOT YOUR FAULT.
Thank you for sharing your story here. You are strong and amazing, and I am sending you only peace for the future.
It's not your fault. You will get through this. You're strong, and won't let this define you. Thank you for talking about it.
It sounds like your counselor is trying to help you...if you can, let her. Let somebody.
Your story brought tears to my eyes. I have a daughter in 8th grade and I can't imagine this happening at her age, although I'm sure it happens to young girls all the time. You are very strong to share this with us and I appreciate that you are not hiding in silence anymore. When you're ready to look for help, find a therapist who does EMDR. It can help put the past where it belongs.
thank you so much for your kind words, and i agree I had a very hard time finding resources on what happens when someone gets pregnant after a rape. Whatever it is that you are going through I know you will get through it . It's not easy but it's possible...one day at a time.