I wish I could take your pain away. I cannot even begin to express how sorry I am for all that you've had to endure. Alternately.... I cannot express how glad I am that you are here, on this site, on the internet, on this little green planet, to tell your story. You have survived and even though you may not feel like it, you are winning. Sincerely. You are better than those who would cast you aside and you will *always* be better. You will work through this pain and you'll heal. It will take time and some days it will seem hopeless but.... you can heal. And one day you will ride atop a rampaging monster called Karma. Until then, keep healing. Keep rising.
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Holy moly....that flat out sucks. I am saddened for the little girl you were then.
It may look like they are successful on the outside. But karma's a bitch and she will met out revenge for you. Trust me.
I agree completely the comment re: PTSD. Please please go talk to someone who deals with trauma. Also? You are not broken. You live. You told. You WIN!
Your best revenge is a life well lived. You are brave and strong. You are not ruined. You have value.
Julia, I am sorry for everything that has happened to you. I hope you can find some help and hope to lead you towards a better future. Wishing peace for you.
I'm so sorry for what happened to you and I think you're brave and amazing for writing about it and posting it here. I get how unfair and wrong it is that their lives go on as 'normal' but their normal isn't anything you'd want. They're like pigs, wallowing in their own muck. You are clearly so strong and incredible for making it out and not becoming like them. You're right, no retribution will ever make up for what happened but that anger is a powerful motivator and one that will help you heal and take your life and self back. I know therapy isn't everybody's cup of tea but I found it really helpful in getting me where I wanted to be. There are people now who care about you and will help.
Julia, I HEAR you - I'm listening. You get to exist too. In fact, you not only get to survive, you can thrive - one step at a time. And wouldn't that be the best? - to show them that you have what they will never have, peace, love, a soul.
Oh Julia! So much harm and hatefulness has been done to you, and for that I am truly sorry. None should have these things happen to them. Thank you very much for sharing your story - just by getting the words out, you're making progress. I wish I had words to help you, but I don't have the answers. You ARE a survivor - you've made it this far, and I have faith that you will continue to make it.