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The local nonprofit doesn't have a space for me in their safe houses, buy no prescription DORMONOCT online. They recommended going to the local homeless shelter, BUY DORMONOCT OVER THE COUNTER. Buy no prescription DORMONOCT online, I guess I don't feel that scared at this point. Part of me is proud and another part of me, DORMONOCT price, coupon, DORMONOCT use, well, I hate to take a spot from a woman who is in more danger or a woman who has children with her, order DORMONOCT no prescription. DORMONOCT no prescription, I own nothing but a car, I have little in savings and the stuff I have here at his place would all fit in my trunk, online buying DORMONOCT hcl. Everything else has been in storage, I've been reluctant to get settled here and I think it may have finally dawned on me why. BUY DORMONOCT OVER THE COUNTER, I guess I don't even know what I'm asking. I don't want to be around the next time he throws a printer across the room or slams a door, wondering if he'll take it out on me next. I don't want to ever again be held down to the bed, bile rising in my throat as I beg for him to stop.
I guess if nothing else, thank you for listening, it was good to get it out.
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UPDATE, 3/10: Got word from Kate that she indeed left, reached her destination, and is safe.
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Thank you for visiting Violence UnSilenced, a speak-out platform for survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. If you are a survivor and it is safe to do so, we encourage you to share your story here. If you are not a survivor but you want to support those who are, please click around this site and find out more about what you can do.
Thank God! You got yourself out of a terrible situation, well done! I am so happy for you! There's not much detail on how you did it, but I hope so strongly that you got away without being hurt more. Please, please don't go back to him. You can't teach a bull to dance, and psychologists will tell you that personality changes very, very little over a person's lifetime. Stay away, stay strong, and stay YOU!
You did it! You did it! YOU DID IT!!!
Pat yourself on the back, wrap your arms around yourself and breathe in some fresh air!
You're on your way to a brand new life armed with knowing more than you should ever know about violence.
Use it to your advantage to become stronger and grow.
You've got a gigantic cheering section over here!! :)
I want to thank each and every one of you for your wishes and advice. I've emailed many of you to thank you personally, but wanted to thank you all.
I am safe and sound and on my way to happier, peace-filled days.
Please feel free to keep tabs on me - I could use it as I move forward. I will probably find my way back to blogging soon and I'm on twitter in the meantime. Thank you all, I'm eternally grateful!
It's so good to hear that Kate actually did leave, and arrived at her friends' place where she'll be safe.
Whatever you do now, Kate, I wish you every happiness & the very best in life. :)
WHOO HOO, your leaving and getting out safely will help the next person that reads this. You done good!
Kate your in my prayers as well, get out while you can before it gets worse and it will, don't let him feel anything is up thats when it can really get ugly,
I'm rooting for you, Kate. You can do this. I didn't think I had the inner strength to call 911 or change the locks on my house, but I found it somewhere. You can do this, and you will land on your feet.
Kate, I am so glad to read that you were able to leave. The kindness of all of you readers is so...touching.
As one who has experienced, well...hell, really...I just want to say how angry it makes me that so-called DV shelters or Women's Shelters (in my own experience) do very little to help a victim. Black eyed and broken nosed, I got a special victim's advocate...but do you think that I heard any offers of a safe place to go from any DV program? No. And, several years later...when I was finally able to leave...I attempted to get some help at another DV shelter and they wouldn't help me and my kids because I had already left even though we were staying with a friend and his family, which was jeopardizing his lease, they considered us being safe, even though we had no where else to go! This is directed at those sorts of places: Don't preach about getting out of a violent situation and then not be able to help a person who needs it! There should ALWAYS be room for one more at a DV shelter...that person you turn away could turn up dead. Okay, I'm done ranting.
I received an E-mail from Kate this morning... She is out. Slick and icy roads ahead and she would appreciate good thoughts and prayers during her journey so she can get there safely.
That's the kind of update I like to hear!
I'm so glad to hear this update from Kate. I will be thinking about you, Kate, and praying for your safety.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am hoping you are safe and moving forward with your plans to leave.
If you set up a paypal account (or some other way to receive donations), I am happy to make a contribution.
Wishing you all the best.
Now is the time, Kate. This is your opportunity -- before things get worse. What he's done already is bad enough. Bibliomom offers good advice about a safe emergency plan.
We are with you...be safe.
Update on @kateanon : http://violenceunsilenced.com/kate/
Kate, no posession or money is worth the gamble, take yourself out that dangerous situation. Get away and then make plans. Stay safe girl. Eaton.
Doesn't he read your blog/tweets?? I think he reads your blog..hopefully he doesn't. Get out now before he catches wind it!
Kate, WOW. I have read you for so long; I had no idea this was going on. I am so glad to hear that you're outta there, you deserve better. So, so much better. Stay safe until you can get out. Take care of yourself.
Drive away, Kate. Drive away. Don't wait, just go, please. Don't wait until next time, please. You can do this...YOU CAN DO THIS.
Kate, I am so sorry.
You know what you have to do...all these ladies know it too -
I'm just one more person with the same advice...
I have been there and I promise you - it will never, ever get any better with this man. Each time is only worse than the time before.
Get in your car. Go. Stuff is only stuff. Take care of yourself.
Much Love and Hope...
Today's post by @kateanon is a bit more urgent than the others have been. Please visit: http://violenceunsilenced.com/kate/
Kate, I echo everything said before. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org, send me your email address, and I will do an email transfer to send you what I can (Canadian money, but it will convert when you deposit it into your own account). How it works: I go onto my own banking website and it will send you an email. From that email, you choose where to deposit the money. I've never done it to the US, but it worked for sending money to Australia.
Or, if you don't have safe access to a bank account, I will send something tomorrow by Western Union. Tell me where and what name/code word you want me to send it under. You need to go as soon as possible. I want to help, please let me.
I have never been in this situation. I am not sure I would be strong enough to run to a homeless shelter, and not because I would feel guilty for taking a bed from someone, but because I would be afraid. But, in this situation... after reading your words... I am more afraid of the man you are with. The man who you probably sleep next to.. who told you he loved you (I assume, since you are living together) and yet had the ability to force himself on you in the most vile of all betrayals! It sounds like you were strong enough to get a divroce when most of your friends were against it.... be stronger to do this!
I'm rallying with all the other women here for you Kate...sending you the mental energy to get out of a situation that you're asking help to get out of.
My sister was afraid of leaving her husband. She was afraid of leaving the state with her kids. Her county and "local" women's shelter was of no help. I drove up to her home, a state away, and packed all her belongings. I rented her a UHAUL. I rented her a storage unit. She became afraid...she knew if her husband found out she was leaving him, he would hurt her. I helped her file for divorce. She was afraid, yet she didnt want to leave for fear of the unknown. A month later, she was found dead. Dont let that happen to you.
It took me months/years of planning before I left. Do what you need to but do it with an emergency escape plan. Here are some of the things that I did.
1. Tell people close by what is going on. You might need to knock at their door at some point.
2. Keep your cell phone charged and hidden if you can.
3. Make sure you have enough gas in your car to get away if you need to.
4. Keep all important documents with you in case you have to leave fast.
Leaving isn't easy and so don't be hard on yourself but be safe and smart.
My heart hurts for you right now. I know what it feels like to want to wait it out just a little longer - and to not know when to say 'when'. Please go to Utah. Please don't wait or 'plan' better - there is never a better plan than just getting out right now - you will feel so empowered to have done it.
Please don't allow yourself to believe that Utah is too far away or that you don't have enough money, or that you have more time.
"You have nothing to loose but yourself" and that is too high a price to pay.
I will be thinking of you and praying that you will be ok.
set up paypal, NOW and i'll help as much as i can
i'm also in utah, so, if you need a room, i have one... be smart (you already have been by calling) be safe.
we are here.
I do hope that you'll walk out of there before they carry you out. I'm being both blunt and honest with you here. If you have a safe place to go, you need to do it and do it now. Put your things in storage and GO! Some women will never have the chance that you have right now...and that is to GET OUT OF A BAD SITUATION! I hope by the time this appears, you've done the wise thing.
Kate: go. Leave. It's stuff, just things, and if you need to burn rubber to get out of Nebraska, do it. Don't minimize what's happened and is happening to you because it hasn't landed you in the hospital yet. Save yourself and start over.
I really can't say it any better than the other commenters have - you just don't know when it will be too late. I knew something was going on by the tone and content of your posts, but had no idea it was this.
Take the advice that's been given - grab what you can at the first safe moment and GO. How much do you need to get to Utah? Call the nonprofit or a local church and see if they'd be willing to help you with funds to get to your friends in Utah. If not, can you password protect a post on your blog and repost this? I know there must be readers (like me) who would be willing to click a paypal button and donate what they can to help you get out of there.
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
Oh, Kate. Please, please don't let pride or shame or anything else keep you in that place one more minute. Your story sent chills down my spine. There's no way of knowing how fast or how bad it could deteriorate with an abuser. It could be weeks or it could be today that he crosses that line. Please don't take that gamble. You're worth so much more. Your situation is serious. You aren't weak for reaching out for help.
Pack your car with everything that you can't bear to lose and forget the rest for now. Call your friends and tell them you're on your way. Please.
Thinking of you and hoping for the best for you.
Oh, Kate. Leave. Be safe. Do not let yourself be in a situation where you are raped or beaten again. Just go. Go. Go. Go. You don't know how much time you have...or don't have.
I hope you take the advice of those who have commented before me. Your life is worth more than this. Give yourself a chance. Please get out and please keep us posted as we are all worried about you.
Oh Kate! I recently started reading your site and I'm so very sad to hear what you're going through. I wish more than anything for you to have the strength to get out.
My thoughts are with you.
Meant to say for all those who thought it couldn't get WORSE it does. The better is for after you've found yourself in safe surroundings. Indigo
As Mojo said, your gambling and the odds are NOT in your favor by staying. It doesn't matter that you may think it's not as bad for you as others. Trust me it is and all it takes is one moment, one word for the odds to change in his favor and perhaps cost you your life. Scared? You should be, it's that serious.
I can tell you all the woman who thought it couldn't get better will tell you in a heartbeat it did, it does.
You have friends in Utah, tell them your on your way. If you don't have the funds beg if you have to for them to send something to get there, pay them back later if honor and pride is stopping you.
Sweetie, from someone who has been where you are and stayed to almost cost her life...Pride goes before the fall. Your life is too precious to take a chance and gamble with. Wherever you end up, wherever you go please keep in touch with us and let us know your safe. You do have people rooting for you, who believe your worth much more. (Hugs)Indigo
Kate, you already know the answer to your own questions. Yes, it will get worse. Take what you can carry and bolt. Now. Today. If you're alive to do it, there's nothing you own that you can't replace. And nothing you own that's worth more than your life and your health.
Just because you haven't landed in ICU and don't have children does not make your situation less important or less serious than another.
The message (as I see it anyway) of this place has always been the same. You are not alone. And you don't have to live this way. Read the stories that came before yours. Are they worse? More serious? More important? I'm betting that if you asked those who wrote them they wouldn't think so. Different -- in the details at least -- but no better, no worse.
You're gambling that today's not the day things escalate to the fatal or near fatal level. Don't wait to find out how long it takes before you're wrong.
Kate, my ex-husband prided himself in that he didn't hit me that often. Hmmm... But no one should live in fear. No one should wonder if the next thrown item will hit them. No one should be forced to do anything against their will.
I know pride. I wanted everyone to believe everything was great. I didn't want anyone to know that I had been wrong. :)
I have to agree with Kat. Please don't wait around to see if it will get worse. It's bad enough already, in my opinion, and the fact that you see it now and question getting out is enough. Go, girl. You don't deserve this!
Prayers for you...
Get in the car and drive to Utah. Just go. You can go get your stuff in storage later or you can take what you need and let the unit owner sell the rest. They do. I'm sure if you tell them why you're leaving they'll help.
I left in the middle of the night. I put my clothes in garbage bags, found the car battery he had hid, put that in and with no insurance, no license plate and no money took off in a snow storm that would pile up over a foot before I got to where I was going. 18 wheelers had pulled over on the highway, but I couldn't stop.
You just do it. You put one foot in front of the other and you don't look back. There is no perfect way out of these situations, there is just Out.
Once I landed at the one person who offered to help, I slept for 12 hours, showered and started looking for a job. And when I had no more gas to go on interviews I found 75 dollars in a jacket I hadn't worn in two years.
You can do this. We're pulling for you.
I agree with Nicole on how unappealing your options sound, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sure it makes it harder to leave...but I hope you get out TODAY. I'm so glad Maggie moved your post to the front of the queue, you need support and we are glad to give it.
Please leave him, Kate. Don't wait around trying to judge if it's safe to stay another day-week-month. Get out now and don't look back. I hope you keep in touch with Maggie so we know you're OK. Godspeed, girl.
Kate. My name is Amy and I am a long time reader...
I have friends in Nebraska. They are in the Omaha and Bellevue areas. If nothing else maybe we can get you a safe place to stay so that you can get back home faster.
Another suggestion is to possibly ask your ex for help. Just be honest. I doubt that even with the pain of divorce that he would want this upon you.
Send me an e-mail if you want to. email@example.com
This is heart-wrenching, but you honestly are in better shape than others. You appear to at least have one option that I see.
Call your friend in Utah. Pack your car and take her/him up on the offer until you can get back on your feet. If that doesn't work, throw your stuff in a storage locker and stay at the shelter 'til you can work it out. Your thought of others is very noble, but girl, YOU are in trouble, too!
I realize as I type this how unappealing any of these options sound. Really, I do. But please know what the alternative could be: You could be seriously injured -- for life. Or, you could be dead.
You only get one life. Please don't gamble with yours.
Many prayers and good thoughts headed your way. I hope you will let Maggie know how things go.