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A one-night stand, lots of drinking, some smoking, and some major therapy later, we made another run of it. But he couldn't deal with the abuse I had sustained as a child. So now, "he" had not only hurt me and ruined my childhood, but he was ruining my relationship with my husband. I couldn't let him have this control over me, BUY ALBENZA NO PRESCRIPTION. Lots of crying, lots of talking, and counseling has helped us to move past it, but it will always be there.

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Kelley writes at www.amonkeyslife.wordpress.com.

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Thank you for visiting Violence UnSilenced, a speak-out platform for survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. If you are a survivor and it is safe to do so, we encourage you to share your story here. If you are not a survivor but you want to support those who are, please click around this site and find out more about what you can do.

Comments

23 comments
S.K.
S.K.

Everyone's story is important. Even if just to get it off your chest. But I think parents and victims need to be aware that even the little "not so horrible" things can have a devastating effect. We forget too easily that the lasting issues attending sexual abuse are most often psychological, not physical. The body heals far more easily than the mind, yet we persist in thinking that more physical pain means more long term damage. Not so. It's just an added layer of evil at the doorstep of the perpetrator.

Sondra
Sondra

Thank you for sharing this. Your story hit close to home with how that experience affected - and still affects - your current relationship. I think there are a lot of us who have been in similar situations and feel that our stories aren't "as bad" as others but they certainly touch many aspects of our lives and talking about it is the first step to finding some peace and moving forward.

jinani
jinani

I don't believe there are "bad" or "better" stories. Everybody here is a survivor, and each and everyone here deserves to be congratulated for coming this far.
Thank you for sharing, and I hope you're happy now <3

MommaKiss
MommaKiss

I just want to say that no abuse situation is better or worse than another's. You had to live through it and that makes it yours, only yours, and wrong. I hope you and your husband continue to strive and that your daughter grows to be happy as you.

Melissa
Melissa

Kelley,

I don't think any abuse is better or worse then another's....it's all abuse. Thank you for sharing your story and your commitment to your marriage and your daughter.

Aerin
Aerin

While I was living in the most difficult parts of my story, I would watch movies on Lifetime and question what I was experiencing and feeling. I would compare my situation to the horrific abuse in the movies... women bruised and battered, barely alive, nowhere to run... and I would deny myself the right to call what I was living abuse. My husband was verbally and sexually abusive, and that isn't something you see in a movie. It took me 2 1/2 years to admit what was really going on, and by that time I was completely devastated... my self-esteem non-existent. It isn't fair to compare your story to others... there will always be a story that is "worse", but you have the right own your story, cry over the pain and then let it go. It was a big deal, but you're strong and you'll be fine. Wishing you peace.....

clara
clara

Your daughter is so lucky to have you. Thank you for telling your story.

Kristi
Kristi

No abuse is too small especially to an innocent child so please don't feel that your story is worth any less than any other. I am competely overprotective as a parent and I think that's the only way to be. Mothers need to keep their daughters safe from harm.

misssrobin
misssrobin

Similar experiences in my childhood. Lots of missing memories. Too many that aren't missing. And never knowing when one will come back to mess with my life.

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad you've begun to heal.

Traci
Traci

Thank you for sharing your story, I wish you & your husband all the best with your healing xo

Anonamouse
Anonamouse

I know that I was molested by someone, but I only have flashes of memory. I have no idea who did it. I too took an early (VERY early) interest in sex/sexually-related issues as a young child. It's one thing to be curious, it's another to actually want to do things and to know it would feel good. That's when I was about 5.

I have kids of my own and I am viciously protective of them for many reasons. This is one of them.

I also had a cousin who tried to touch me inappropriately when I was 9 and he was 13, I think. I was sick at the time, and fell asleep on my aunt & uncle's couch. I woke up crying because I wanted my mom and my cousin heard me. Thankfully I was so ill and didn't want him touching me that I made enough noise for my aunt to come in to see what was the matter. Not much happened but it was enough. Five or six years later he tried again when we were up late watching a movie. I told him no, firmly and loudly, and he backed off and begged that I not tell. I never did but I to this day do not trust him.

Those were just a few of my experiences.

I'm sorry..your story opened me up quite a bit. I'm not trying to take it over. I thank you for sharing, I pray you'll continue to move forward, and that your marriage will continue to grow stronger. I also pray for you to find peace.

Diane
Diane

Thank you for speaking out.

Jennifer
Jennifer

Even those things that don't seem "that bad" can damage us. Good for you pledging to trust your daughter. I hope and pray she never needs to tell you something like that. Thank you for sharing your story.

Arby
Arby

I’ve read plenty of stories on this site and thought to myself, “Yikes. My story doesn’t seem so bad in comparison.” But, there is the mistake. There is no place for comparison because abuse is not a contest. It’s bad. No matter how much or how little you were subject to, you were abused and it affected you. (No one who read my story told me that it wasn’t as painful or as difficult as I related.) Keep going to therapy. Keep working through your issues. Keep loving your husband and your daughter. And thank you for sharing your story here. Richard

J
J

I was in a very similar situation when I was around the same age. Hearing this will definitely help me. Thank you for speaking up.

Jennifer
Jennifer

Even if abuse doesn't reach the point of the worst case scenario the ramifications can be significant and long-lasting, as your story so clearly shows.

Thank you for speaking up.

ShadowChaser
ShadowChaser

Yes. Abuse is abuse and there are no varying shades of black.. Thank you for sharing your story.

Natalie
Natalie

I am glad you spoke up....thank you for sharing this story.

While yes, I agree, that some stories on here seem to have more graphic violence than yours, etc....all these stories (including yours) relate to abuse and violence. All of them, including yours, include people who are innocent victims and who end up who suffering long terms injuries. Some are visible to the eye while others are not. You are brave and generous for sharing this.

thank you

Becky
Becky

I'm so glad you told your story. I think this happens a lot more than anyone realizes because we don't think it's "that bad."
So thank you for sharing your brave story. I know you have helped many.

Michelle @ Mommy Loves Stilettos
Michelle @ Mommy Loves Stilettos

Abuse is abuse. Doesn't matter what form it's in. It affects you no matter how many/few times it happened or what the circumstances were. Thanks for sharing your story. *HUGS*

Sharon
Sharon

I read your story and I feel for you.

I had a cousin that tried to do 'things' to me when I was 13 and he was in his 20s. My mom didn't believe that her "favorite nephew" would do something like that.

I have also sworn to ALWAYS believe my children when it comes to things like this. I hope I have done well in teaching them.

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