Kerri
My name is Kerri and I want to share my story.
It was a nice beautiful day in Florida where we lived for two years. Our four daughters and I were sitting on the bed watching T.V. and waiting for him to get home. That night changed everything for us.
He had been very moody off and on for weeks. When he got home he was in a rage that was unstoppable.
He came in yelling and cussing. When he entered the room he starting pulling me off the bed by my feet. I was screaming, telling him to let go, the kids were freaking out, but it wasn’t enough to snap him out of it. He dragged me through the living room saying he was going to rape me. I was kicking and fighting back. He sat on my stomach ripping my clothes off. He tore my underwear off like it was nothing. The look in his eyes was so intense and dark. He was banging my head on the tile floor and twisting my neck to where my face was on my back.
I got up and finally was able to get to the kitchen but he got me on the floor again. Now my kids were getting in it. They were jumping on his back as he continued to yell and scream. I got up and tried to run out the door but he blocked it. I ran to the garage door and tried to get out there but he came after me. So I was telling the kids get out go to the neighbors house I will hold him. He was trying to chase them around then.
This wasn’t the first time we fought. We were together for eleven years. I thought that if I left that my kids would hate me for leaving their dad. So of course I stayed. Beating after beating. The mental abuse was just as bad. I found out that he had a cocaine problem after I had my first two kids.
After I got out of that house that day I swore to my kids they would never have to see something like that again. I left three months after that and have been gone since. My kids and I have a lot of trauma that we are working through now, but to break a chain and a cycle that I saw when I was a young girl is so hard. I’m gonna get all the help my kids need so they don’t go through what they saw me go through.
Thank you for making a website that we can go to and let some of this out. I have tried for years to think of something I can do to help other families that this has happened to.
29 Responses to “Kerri”
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I’m so sorry you’ve been through such a horrible experience. I wish you and your daughters much healing. Thank you so much for sharing.
The help you wanted to give those other families? You just gave it. Believe me, you did. It must have seemed like it would be impossible to leave. With four kids, even in the best of financial circumstances that’s a big load to take on by yourself. And never mind the emotional trauma that comes with a breakup like that. Even when the relationship is obviously toxic, when it ends it can be tough on kids — especially the bright ones. When you’re a kid your world is pretty small, and anything that shakes it even a little seems like an earthquake. And on some level you knew this, even if you didn’t put it in those words.
And as much as I hate that your kids had to see this happen to you, in a way it’s not a completely bad thing. It settled a lot of questions they might have had. It answers the “Why?” in a way no explanation ever could.
As hard as it was though, you did what you had to. There wasn’t another way. Substance abuse or not, this wasn’t a problem you could “fix”. He might be able to recover, but that’s not your worry. Your own recovery — and your kids’ recovery — is your worry.
I hope writing this gave you some kind of comfort. I hope it helped you somehow. I know it helped someone else. Because right now, this same story is being written in every city, every town, every country… every nine seconds in this country alone. And the only way to take the power back, to bring this epidemic to a halt is to speak out. To be heard. And to let the others know that it’s not okay for someone to treat you this way. To let them know…
You are not alone, and you don’t have to live this way.
Thank you. For having the courage to write your own ending to the story, and the courage to share it here.
Bless you for sharing this story, and bless you and your children as you move through the healing process. It takes great strength to break out of an abusive relationship and it will take determined, continued effort to break the cycle. You’ve taken the first step! I applaud you as you claim victory. I pray for your healing.
Kerri, thank you for speaking out. Your courage sings through every word.
Peace to you.
Thank you for sharing your story. Your kids will thank you some day as well.
You did more to help other families by writing this than you can imagine. And it isn’t easy to break the cycle, but by acknowledging that there IS a cycle is the first step-and you took that one wonderfully.
So many times we stay for the wrong reasons. Most of the time it is for the kids or for financial reasons. It certainly isn’t ever a good environment for our children. I am so glad you got your children out of there. The worst part would be if they thought that kind of behavior was okay.
I am glad you are seeking help for you and your children.
Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Thank you for having the courage to leave and to come here to share your story.
thank you for sharing. i wish all the love and healing to you and your kids!
you gave your kids the best gift in the world when you left. i’m not going to pretend to understand all of the dynamics you are now dealing with and i know full well how long some of the unlearning can take, but you’ve set an amazing example.
congratulations on your bravery and thank you so much for sharing your story.
Thanks for sharing your story. Good luck in your recovery.
you left.
hardest step.
the rest will be easy in comparision….
best to you.
hey sweetie i read it like i told you i would and of cource the anger that i get from reading this is not pleaseant but me reading this explains a whole lot to me i know i cant take away the pain i cant cover the scars that you bear but i can say to you in the name of my lord jesus christ those days are gone and the future is among us neither him nor anyone else will ever ever lay a hand on you or my step-children this world have a place for people like him kerri i love you and the girls very much and just so you know im here for better or worst and baby it can only get better from here i love you kerri
vincent
You are brave and strong for leaving. And you helped others just by giving a voice to what happened to you. You broke the cycle by showing your kids that you would not stand for that.
Vincent – I want to hug you. Hug her. Take care of each other.
You have helped.
You are brave. You have helped.
Thank you for sharing, and helping others.
Thank you for being brave enough to share your story. I hope that doing so brought some measure of peace to you. Good luck to you and your children in breaking this cycle for good.
right now, helping your kids is a pretty mighty task. allow yourself that space.
thank you for writing.
You are so brave. Brave to get out. Brave to take the children. Brave to get them help. Brave to break the chains! God bless you.
Stay strong. You will make it through, and your girls will have the memories but also the knowledge that this is NOT okay because you left. God bless you.
You are every other brave person who shares their story anonymously or not helps.
Blessings and best wishes for you and your family.
Thank you for sharing your story — and for being brave enough to get out both for your own sake and for the sake of your kids.
No one deserves to live that way. No one.
Kerri, God bless you for getting you and your children out!
Thank you for speaking out, for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Thank you for being brave and reliving that night to tell us about it. I am proud of you for getting out of there and for giving your children a better life because of it.
Thanks so much for sharing. God bless You. Just stumbled and submitted your site to http://Viralogy.com. Hope you get some great traffic from it. Your blog is here http://www.viralogy.com/blogs/my/10127
Mom and woman – thank you for sharing.
Good luck in building a better world view for yourself and your girls. May you watch them raise fearless grandbabies.
Kerri – Thank you so much for sharing your story. For getting yourself, and your children out of there. For taking the steps to insure that they get the help they need to get through this.
From Vincent’s comment, it’s obvious that you’ve found a man worthy of your love, who will treat you right. I’m so happy that your story has the happy ending that so many others don’t.
And by sharing your story here? You HAVE helped others.