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I was very lucky in that a short time later, before he was able to rape me, his wife came home. This frightened him off and she was able to take me home.
My ordeal lasted 5 hours.
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Thank you for visiting Violence UnSilenced, a speak-out platform for survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. If you are a survivor and it is safe to do so, we encourage you to share your story here. If you are not a survivor but you want to support those who are, please click around this site and find out more about what you can do.
oh my god hunny i am so sorry. You are much braver than I. You are very courageous and you did the right thing. Thank you so much for stepping up and speaking out.
Sami Thank you. While I appreciate your words please do not feel that I am more brave than you are. I'm sure that you are VERY brave.The fact that you are on this site tells me of your level of bravery :-)
Thank you for reading my story.
Thank you for sharing your story Rachel, I also am a survivor of over 20 years of emotional/psychological abuse (14 years in the actual relationship). After reading your story, and having lived through enough of my own experiences to back up some of the things you said, I would like to ask a question. Do you think that the possibility exists that "your friend" was actually using you as her own personal cry for help? For her to be participating in the things that were being done to you - do you think that those things were happening to her as well? If not, where else would she have learned that behavior from? I am thinking that the fact that she lied to you about her father being home, was quite possibly because she knew that you would not go with her otherwise. I obviously do not know the whole story - I have not lived either yours nor your friend's lives, but your story raised these questions in my mind and I wanted to share my thoughts with you about it. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Your courage to tell your story is awesome, and thank you once again for sharing. God Bless you and I am happy to see you getting your story out here. ♥
@LisaFeliciaKowal Lisa in all honesty I'm not sure if it was a cry for help. I think she was just a sick individual. She told me that the whole thing was her idea. She told me that she set me up and convinced him it was a good idea because she hated me.She hated how "nice" I was and what a "little goody two shoes" I was and that I was such a little "Virgin Mary" and it disgusted her.She wanted to teach me a lesson as to what happens to girls like me." Whether she came up with that herself or not,whether it was her idea or her fathers idea I really don't know and that's part of what makes healing completely hard. I have no answers. I struggle to believe that a then 13 year old girl could in fact be so depraved and evil as to concoct a plan as what was planned and then to execute it. However her father and I were strangers. I had only met him once before hand for a short period of time. He had no reason to want to harm me the way that he did,yet it seems more plausible that as a grown adult that he had more capability to plan out what was done to me and to carry it out. (It WAS planned,tinted windows had been installed where there had not been tinted windows in his van previously,the handle on the inside of the sliding door of his van had been carefully removed,there had been child safety locks placed on the other doors,he had a police radar that he had bought and placed on his dashboard.) with as much premeditation as went into my assault I cannot believe that a 13 year old is capable,but I might be underestimating her. I do believe that she did come up with the idea to lure me to the home. She absolutely knew that if I knew her father (whom had tried once before to "tickle" me at their home 7 months prior to my assault,I was able to get away the first time) would be home that I would not set foot near her home. To get me there she absolutely had to lie to me. I have no doubt that he victimized her as well. He asked me during my assault "Doesn't your Dad do this to you?" I told him "No! Of Course Not!" he told me that he set aside a special time each day to do to his children (He had 6 at the time,he has 10 now) what he was doing to me at that moment" Thank you for your response. I find it empowering to share my story through writing.
I have a "Rachael" too. It hurts me to think she would ever be so hurt and traumatized by someone she was supposed to trust.
Thank you for the strength it takes to be this open and honest.
@AnissaMayhew Anissa I did trust my friend but her father was a stranger to me. I had met him once before for only a small amount of time. I knew he was my friends father,I knew his last name and his occupation. I thought though that my friend would never put me in a situation like she did. It also still boggles my mind that he did what he did.He didn't know me any more than I knew him.He had no reason to want to do what he did. I know why his daughter set me up and convinced him it was a good idea.It was because she hated me.She hated how "nice" I was,what a "little goody two shoes" I was and that I was The "Virgin Mary" and it disgusted her.She wanted to teach me a lesson as to what happens to girls like me." It turns my stomach that he did what he did to appease his then 13 year old daughter!
Rachel, no one on earth should ever have to endure what you went through. I am so sorry for the pain this caused you, then and now.
Thank you for telling your story. The courage and strength I'm sure it took to share this here is an example for others who may have suffered, or may still be suffering unthinkable abusive situations.
I wish peace and healing for you in the future, and the love and caring you truly deserve.
@SarahPMiller Sarah I agree with you. I volunteered at a Child Advocacy Center that was located on my campus while I was an undergraduate. The Center was started by a couple whose 16 year old daughter was anducted from her life gaurding post in June 2000. She was missing for 3 years. The case did not have a happy ending. The killer is still at large. This is just one of many horrendous stories I have heard having volunteered at a Center that deals with missing children. I thank God every day that my story turned out differently. Thank you. For 12 years it has been one day at a time but thanks to the AMAZING staff/faculty at my alma mater and the couple who opened the center in their daughters memory I have been able to continue on this journey of healing. I wouldn't be as far along as I am now if it hadn't been for the amazing staff/faculty and John and Magi I wouldn't be thriving today and I wouldn't be almost finished with my Masters. Thank you for such a compassionate response. :-) I'm working on getting the love and caring from my family (they wish I would forget about it and get on with my life) but I still have my college support system and I have the family that I call my 2nd family.
Rachel, thank you for being so strong and so brave to tell your story. I pray that you have taken the steps necessary to find healing from this horrendous ordeal. God bless you!
@di Di thank you for your response. I have taken steps. I spent 4 1/2 years in therapy on campus with my amazing counselor/,entor I earned my B.A. in Social Work in 2009 I am now working toward earning my Masters Certificate in Victim Advocacy My goal is to end up at a child/teen victim advocacy center like the one I volunteered at while an undergraduate.I hope to end up in the Outreach/Education/Awareness sector. I earned my Instructor License as a RAD (Rape Aggression Defense) Instructor in January 2010. I am using my experience to change the world :-)
CTRADInstructor di That is so awesome!!! I also went back to school and am hoping to work in the domestic violence field.
Rachel, what happened to you was horrific, and I'm so sorry you had to endure that frightening abuse. I'm glad that you have shared it, though, so that others might understand. Your strength in speaking out here is very appreciated.
@Deb Rox Thank you Deb.It was frightening. In surviving one of the keys to my healing has been to know that I am not alone and that there are other survivors whom understand. I want to let other survivors know that they too are not alone. There are others out there who understand and who are willing to listen.
Rachel, What an unimaginably horrible experience to go through. I am so sorry that it happened. But I am so proud that you have been able to claim the story as yours and then put it behind you, and keep it from holding you back from the life you're meant to live: one supported by those who love and care about you, and one in which when you ask for help, you can get it. Sending you all good wishes for future blessings.
@StacyMorrison Stacey it was horrible. In the end he told me "No hard feelings it was all just a game" I was in shock so his statement didn't register for awhile but when it did...........I was confused and wondered if maybe I had blown it out of proportion,until he followed me home from school one afternoon and then every morning after that (for 2 years until they moved) he would drop his kids at my bus stop and would taunt me and would tell me that "he knew where I lived" Thank you. It has taken me 7 years to claim it as my own.Whether I write it out or speak the words I am emotionally disconnected,it has been as if I've been telling people about something that I heard. It was not until very recently that I was able to put myself in to the facts and then I broke down completely. Even in finally crying I have to just continue to tell myself,"I survived and I am here" he may not have faced justice but he no loner matters. It was only within the last 7 years (2005) that I was able to ask for help, but only after I was offered the help by the staf/faculty at my collge.I was told that the help being offered would help me to heal. Asking for help was always something I swore I would never do after being made to feel (in middle and high school) by teachers that because of my learning disability that I would never succeed in life without an adult always holding my hand. I was determined to live my life my way and o succeed without help or intervention. It was only after arriving at the college that I graduated from that I was taught how to ask for help without feeling like a failure. It is still something that I strugle with but I'm dealing with it one step at a time one day at a time.
CTRADInstructor StacyMorrison That whole learning-to-ask-for-help thing? You and me both, sister. Here's the mantra I tell myself when I back myself into a corner: "I can be weak and strong at the same time." Feeling weak does not mean I will not survive. (Though it can feel like it!) Being open to vulnerability takes a strength we can barely understand or see. I try to live that truth every day, and little by little, I am learning to believe it. I wish you the same! xx
I am so sorry that you had have this experience. Thank you for sharing it and speaking out.
@schmutzie Thank you. Speaking out through writing has been the best way I've found to heal.
I'm so sorry for what happened to you. What a horrendous, horrendous thing. Thank you for posting about it.