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Richard writes at Boarding in Bedlam.
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Thank you for visiting Violence UnSilenced, a speak-out platform for survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. If you are a survivor and it is safe to do so, we encourage you to share your story here. If you are not a survivor but you want to support those who are, please click around this site and find out more about what you can do.
Comments
I can say so much Rich. I mostly want to say from deep within my heart I have a feeling oif hope even more so as I reread your experience. Many of us survivors as some addicts do....readjust our minds and attitudes daily to stay level headed due to the tragic events we experienced. In my life time I have been llucky to be alive regarding my trauma. UI am happy to say finally many years later I am working on a web-site, on I pray my higher power will help me help others like us "Survivors!"xoxoxoxxoxo
I am so very sorry for the horrors you experienced as a child, you were never dirty, the crimes against you and your abuser were. I am in awe of the courage it must have taken to speak out as a child and again here. You are amazing and I wish you all the best in your healing and hope you continue to thrive xo
Thank you, thank you, for speaking out. You are an incredible person. You are right to not want only to survive- you can thrive. I hope you have a great support system in place. God bless.
Rich,
Your story left me speechless for a moment. It is a story (to me) one in which I believe you have unsilenced for many men. You are a beautiful person. You have inspired me and my children. To hear it from a man and have 2 daughters listen to me reading this to them. really has them now rethinking how much men are truly violated. Whatever is in your heart, I hope you do not stop here. Many others, who are not aware of this site need to be. You have touched so many lives Rich that you do not evn know and will never know. Thank you Rich for more than your story...for bringing out the courage in me. I pray for healing for you, for much love in your life and an over abundance of time to share your story. You have and will touch many more lives Rich.
I read this a while back but couldn't get to a computer to comment. Thankyou so much for posting it. Someday I will ask my husband to read it. There are far too many boys out there like you. And him. I don't understand why these people exist. The last time my husband talked about his past, and his religious beliefs, he said that he wanted someone to show him how a little child being twisted and warped by an evil person fits into God's plan. I started to say that it doesn't, it's evidence of Satan's interference with God's plan, and he shouted, "Show me God's hand! I wanna see God's hand in that child's life!" He never shouts.
I'm slowly finding that what bothers me the most about sexual abuse is the unbelievable amount of time it takes to recover. It's like having your spiritual neck broken or something. It just paralyzes you for so long.
Thankyou again. Stand strong. God bless you.
I find that I have a hard time speaking of my abuse and I am ashamed of it. I want to get comfortable, to share, to speak out on behalf of those who can't, to stop this from happening to someone else, but I don't.
I have shared my story here, but I don't put that button on my sidebard, afraid of telling those who don't know, but probably should.
Thank you for being brave, for speaking out, for surviving.
That should never have happened to you... And it was that man's fault it did. Thank you for sharing your story; if it helps save even one person from something similar, you will have done a wonderful thing. I hope you find peace through Christ.
I find that I have a hard time speaking of my abuse and I am ashamed of it. I want to get comfortable, to share, to speak out on behalf of those who can't, to stop this from happening to someone else, but I don't.
I have shared my story here, but I don't put that button on my sidebard, afraid of telling those who don't know, but probably should.
Thank you for being brave, for speaking out, for surviving.
Bless you for sharing your story with all of us. It takes courage to live through what you have lived through and to share that with all of us is a brave thing. Blessings on you.
I can't even begin to describe how much it pains me to think of any child going through what you went through. I am amazed and inspired by your strength. Your story can help so many. Thank you for sharing it and for speaking out. I wish you serenity and peace for your entire family.
This makes me very angry...I hope this son of a bitch Bob was convicted and spent many years in some kind of rehabilitative, punitive place where he couldn't hurt others and, hopefully, got "cured" of his perversions and ills, or if not, is still locked away where he can't hurt others. It's hard not to want him shot, though.
I'm sorry this happened to you but am glad you have been able to forgive yourself and recognize this didn't happen because of something you did. I hope you are a good dad in your own estimation. I hope you realize you are able to help others, like you're doing here.
I'm happy that what used to be unspeakable for you, you can now speak of. It's terrible what happened to you but you can be a voice for others who can't. Until they are ready.
Thank you for sharing your story and for putting a button on your blog that led me here. I too was molested as a child, from a young age and by many people. Silence allows these people to keep preying on children, and your speaking out helps protect so many children and also lets so many others know they're not alone.
It took me a long time to get over my feelings of being broken, different, dirty. Religion was not part of my healing but I do feel whole, happy and healed. The biggest things that helped me were talking to others through support groups and therapy, writing about the abuse, being very open about it and finally working to help others. Volunteer work led to a job where I was the one helping others who were hurting, and that was the most healing part of all.
Thanks for telling your story and being so utterly honest and raw.
~Alicia
I pray God's peace, love, hope, and joy upon you that you may more than survive, but that you may thrive in love and light.
His Peace and Mercy, Lisa
It sounds to me like you are well on your way to thriving. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you continued success and joy on your journey.
SO appreciated! RT @lance02 Reading the latest at Violence Unsilenced - "Richard" - http://bit.ly/cmq4Ov --> such brave stories here....
Reading the latest at Violence Unsilenced, from @maggiedammit - "Richard" - http://bit.ly/cmq4Ov --> such brave stories here....
Richard,
My hope is that this brings much healing for you, and for those who read here. No child should have to go through what you endured. And your sharing here will help others in untold ways. Thank you so much for sharing....
I to have been on a long walk with God. Realizing that his love for me is unconditional and constant. That He is always there to carry me. It's not easy....I don't trust. I don't know how to trust. But I am beginning to trust God with all. I to am reading...at the moment Beauty for Ashes by Joyce Meyer, a woman who for years was molested by her father.
Thank you for sharing. My ex was a victim of sexual abuse by his stepfather. Although he chose to continue the cycle, his sister who was also a victim broke the cycle. She though had lots of support. He did not. Our society needs to realize that males who suffer abuse hurt just as much as females. It takes people like you to speak up so that one day this will happen.
My middle child, a boy, turns 9 this year. Although I pray that nothing like this will ever happen to my children, I pray that if it does, they will be brave enough to tell me. Brave like you were. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
I am more appreciative of the supportive statements left on this post than I can possibly express. Thank you, one and all. Nicole, you are correct. Speaking of the terrible acts and getting as much of them out of my system as possible IS a beautiful thing.
Wow! You are braver than any man I know. You have walked the line, tredged through pain and reached out. I'm proud to have read your story and even prouder to know that you had the courage to write. Your story will save some boy's life. Some boy that is too afraid. Some boy that will come across your story and find courage from it.
Keep strong, keep faith and God Bless You!!!!!
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm typing this with a wonderful handsome sweet 9 year old boy sitting next to me. I'm so sorry there are monsters out there that could harm someone like him.
You already know how much your story and your strength has made a difference for me. Thank you, again.
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Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can't help but feel immense anger at how your innocence was stolen from you and I am glad that you told someone about it and that the perpetrator was prosecuted.
You broke the cycle, you not only survived, but you are making a difference. God can do amazing things, and reconciliation is such a powerful experience. It sounds like you are on the most incredible journey of faith and healing.
RT @maggiedammit: Please support Richard of Boarding in Bedlam, today's #vu survivor: http://violenceunsilenced.com/Richard/
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Thank you for speaking out - too few men do. I'm glad you're making your peace with God - it gives me hope that maybe someday I can do the same.
This gave me chills. Thank you so much for speaking out. Particularly for being a voice for so many silenced men.
Thank you for speaking up, for UnSilencing. May you continue to find peace, sanctuary, fulfillment and the solace of knowing that you have made a difference. Because of who you are.
You are brave to not only share your story but for facing down these horrible transgressions from your childhood. That is in no way easy.
I have to think though that recognizing the problems you were having for what they were (extensions of what had been done to you all those years before) and being able to speak of the terrible acts foisted on you and get as much of them out of your system as possible HAS to be a beautiful thing.
I don't think it's possible to ever completely wipe that slate clean but you have done an incredible job of getting as close as one can. I think you are probably a better husband, a better father, a better man for it. I hope you know that.
None of what happened was your fault, yet it was you who dealt with the brunt of the consequences. There is no justice that can ever make that completely right but finding the peace and happiness you deserve may come close.
Thank you so much for sharing and for not being shy about how your faith grew. What an amazing story!
What happened to you is a horrible tragedy with long-lasting repercussions. Our introduction to sexuality shapes the way we regard and use sex for the rest of our lives. It should be a personal, intimate adventure. It should not be violent, manipulated, or secret. My heart breaks for what happened to you. Thank you for sharing your story.
Amazing how we can find our innocence through our children. I encountered much the same revelation. Where once I actually thought that I must have been a sexualized creature from a very early age, when I saw my daughter at 5 years old, I realized what a mistake it was to believe that.
Thank you for sharing your truth. It's a long journey from there to here and beyond. Wishing you many blessings on your journey.










[...] (typeof(addthis_share) == "undefined"){ addthis_share = [];}It has been two years since I first wrote my story for Violence UnSilenced. I was 44-years-old and speaking out for the first time about sexual [...]