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Pieces of my heart are gone and pieces of his have replaced it. That is how intertwined we became. He and I were miles of Christmas lights knotted, weaved, and tangled together. My lights don't shine right being all tangled in another's. BUY ZYRTEC NO PRESCRIPTION, The thoughts crept in: it's easier to just let it be. It's easier to leave the lights tangled and let my heart be glued to yours. Because it hurts to be pulled apart and it's uncomfortable having to untangle my life from yours. I know what your heart looks like and what your lights can do.
Editor's note: Samantha wrote this nine months ago, and as of today has been free from her abuser for three months. She adds that she has found great support on the website Band Back Together, a collaborative blog founded by past VU contributorAunt Becky..
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Thank you for visiting Violence UnSilenced, a speak-out platform for survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. If you are a survivor and it is safe to do so, we encourage you to share your story here. If you are not a survivor but you want to support those who are, please click around this site and find out more about what you can do.
RT @sexgenderbody: Samantha http://dlvr.it/CDKgc
When you can see why you really stayed, it means you are probably ready to see why you shouldn't. I hope other victims read your words and learn from them.
Thank you to each and every one of you who commented. It has become easier with time and I've finally seen how beautiful my own lights truly are. It is amazing, supportive women, gentle, kind men in my life AND websites like this and BandBackTogether that have brought me back to life again and I can't even begin to express my gratitude.
Thank you all.
I appreciate your acknowledgement of the complexities and mixed feelings that accompany leaving an abusive partner. This is one reason it is so vital for us survivors to tell our stories, not the just events, but the emotions and daily struggles that accompany them. This is, I believe, the most effective way to bring understanding to those who haven't been there, including people in service delivery and policy making!
Thank you for sharing, and for the fabulous link, I've been looking for long term supportive services for survivors and am in the process of developing a website for that purpose. Eventually I hope to be able to develop a community center for continuing needs of survivors. Staying connected, as you are, is the key to making these ideas a reality
PLS Support: Samantha http://bit.ly/hfBRlJ
I know what your heart looks like, and it is beautiful. Your light is shining brighter than you know. Thank you for sharing.
I really like your Christmas lights analogy, and your realization that your lights didn't shine properly entwined with someone else's. Good for you for getting out when it was right for you.
I applaud your courage...for living three months untangled from your abuser. You are strong and courageous.
I hope your lights are now completely 'untangled' and shining brightly this Christmas, Samantha.
Thanks for sharing
*sobs* This was beautiful and so true.
Samantha, you are a strong woman. I love you so much for being brave enough to tell your story. I'm so proud to know you and honored to have you at Band Back Together.
It took me WAY more than 4 times to leave. I think of my poor 22 year old self caught in a situation way beyond my years. It took being viciously raped while my baby slept in the next room then strangled unconscious before I "got it". Before I understood that I was going to die...soon. Thank you for your story. I struggle mightily with not being able to completely disentangle myself from the situation. Thank you for sharing what you learned in your group. What a great metaphor, I've never thought of it like that before. It brought me a little more peace this morning, and that's really all we can ask for each day. Thank you for sharing your story as well as the website group. I'll definitely be checking it out! You are strong and brave and amazing. Don't let anyone ever tell you different!!
Big congratulations for leaving, and for writing here.
I promise this: as real and difficult as the pain of untangling is, it fades with time. You will be free.