Sixteen-year-old David
This is for you, that one crazy girl
I watched you waste your life away
with that jerk off who sent your emotions through a swirl
and when the cops would get there, your life would go astray
I’d watch from a distance
Your friends always warned you, for instance:
Hun, you have to get out of there, they told
You shouldn’t let him put you under his control
But you stayed, through thick and thin
And watched him drink the beer and gin
I’m sure you wished for a knight in shining armor
But only got a drunk filled with anger
So night after night
and fight after fight
you’d sit by and let it happen
not knowing one day, about you I’d be rappin’
Without you I’m sure I wouldn’t be here
But without me, I’m sure you’d be sheddin’ lots of tears
Hearing the keys jingle in the door
stumbling foot steps on the floor
I always wondered, while you laid in your bed
what thoughts might have been going through your head
Would you cringe in fear as you heard his slurred rage fill the home
with beer in hand, through the house he would roam
Every night his fuse was cut short
in ignorance and anger, to his slurred insults you would always retort
Like a volcano about to burst
he became an alcoholic with a thirst
A thirst for order and control
So he’d smack you around
You’d wish to be out of this hellhole
And wait till he left you alone on the ground
You’d cry and cry
I’m sure, at one point in time, you’d wish you would die
But you couldn’t because of me
I was what kept you happy
You’d come to me late at night
and caress my hair
after one of your more uglier fights
he wouldn’t do that around me, no, he wouldn’t dare.
I began to grow a vengeance
It happened when they took his license
The anger management didn’t help
or how his children yelped.
So I got out more
and began to resent the man who harmed my number one
It was all I could abhor
I would finish this, it would be done.
So one day, I came over, exploded like a bomb.
Decked him a good one in the face
Memories erased
I love you, mom
***
David’s mom blogs at Wait. What?
37 Responses to “Sixteen-year-old David”
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I have already shared with you what I think about this, about you and how you continue to impress and amaze me. But just in case you need a place to read- and re-read it, in case you ever doubt – I am here for you no matter what and I could not adore you more.
Keep on writing, I love you.
This was so powerful. Gorgeously written, and that last line nails it like a well-earned punch.
Can’t believe that writing from a person not yet in his twenties. That’s a bright future, waiting.
Moving and powerful stuff. You don’t always have to be the one getting hit to have domestic abuse affect you.
Please think about this if you’re a parent in a violent relationship. And please, get help to get out!
Here’s hoping that both David and his mom found peace and happiness. Big hugs for sharing this.
Cat & David, I’m glad to know that you’ve engaged in family counseling and I pray that you continue in your quest for a more peaceful home environment. I pray for your husband’s continued sobriety. It can be so hard to stick together as a family. It seems you’re on the right path.
Bless you both for sharing your thoughts and feelings on your difficult situation.
Wow! Powerful. Love the ending. Thank you for sharing.
your voice is the most important one we need to hear, i believe. the child, watching, forever changed. speaking your truth is your gift to us. and your mom…i am choked up being in the presence of so much love. to encourage you to speak your truth…i am in awe of both of you.
thank you.
David, thanks for sharing about this. It is hard to be around people that we love who have alcohol and anger problems. Very hard. I’m glad that you and your mom have each other. And that perhaps the strength and love that you have will be enough for the dad to work on himself. Keep writing, David.
i was moved to tears — he has “the” gift.
hugs, peace, smiles and love,
Wow! Absolutely…WOW. I am crying now. David, your writing is amazing. What masterful use of language, what beautiful simplicity, directness…you moved me to tears. I’m not just being nice. This is a beautiful piece. Very powerful. Very perceptive, very moving. wow. This gift is yours. And no one can take it from you. What a beautiful gft to carry anywhere you go.
Wow… just, wow. I’m not sure what else to say. But thank you for sharing that… so honest and so well written.
I’m so happy to see that you and your mom have gotten out – and seem to be thriving.
wow. that was amazing! thank you.
Powerful words…amazing post. Thank you for sharing yourself.
Thank you for this. Thank you so very much.
Thank you for sharing this.
A part of me weeps for a kid who has to step into one parent to defend the other. That just shouldn’t be. Then again, the whole situation shouldn’t be.
But the love I hear in these lines… that’s something truly rare. You two have a great thing going and I hope you can keep it always. I also hope that you’ll be able to drop the ugliness in your wake at some point. Sounds like you’ve made a great start.
thank you, david, for sharing. i wish you hadn’t needed to step in, brave boy that you are.
David,
Commenting just now I’m realizing this is the first time I’ve commented on this site, even though it’s my site. I’m always so busy talking to the contributors and promoting the posts I didn’t even realize, until just now, that I’ve never actually commented on a post. Wow.
Anyway, thank you. Thank you for writing this. You have SUCH a gift. I hope you can always find comfort in it.
Wow.
David, Such power in words. It begins with the reader believing this is just a girl who you are talking about (but it’s never just a girl) and when in the end you reveal it’s your mother (is it so all the way through…must reread it) the impact is deep. Get it out. Use it. You’ve a fine talent, an unfortunate past, a bright future.
erin
Thank you for sharing this deeply personal piece of writing. You obviously love your mom so much, and you’re right – at times you probably were what kept her sane. How amazing.
HOLY SHIT, what a great piece!!!
I am really so impressed, I cried, David. I know your mom well through her writing so I had to stop by and see what she submitted, and I am glad that I did.
Please, keep writing. You are talented. You are really, really talented.
this is awesome.
i bet it felt good to punch that bastard.
good on you, mate.
Good for you, for writing, and for standing up, and for loving your Mom this much.
I’d be proud to have a son like you.
Oh, man. David, you are a good, good man.
Those are very powerful words. Our kids are tuned in way, way more than we ever give them credit for.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m so struck by the voice of a child.
My daughter and I used to have issues with her anger, until I finally got it. She was angry at that which she couldn’t control my pain, the bruises the abuse.
These days we are closer than ever.
This is profound David, people need to realize through the eyes of the child that pain is harming and frightening to them as well. It doesn’t matter that the only one taking tha abuse is the parent…it’s still hurting in ways people rarely recognize.
Cat, your son is learning to heal his pain through words. He’s going to be a force to be heard, if not already. Thank you for sharing this…I think of all the abuse what my daughter saw, heard, felt was more damaging to my heart than anything I suffered.
Love to you both! (Hugs)Indigo
This sort of thing is the reason I got out of a horrible marriage. Could NOT let the kids think life is supposed to be like that.
Well said, sir.
Wow. Just awesome, David. You’re an amazing young man.
You are an amazing person. I’d be proud if my son (s) turned out half as thoughtful as you.
I’m just amazed and awed by you.
bravo, David. Bravo.
I’m truly impressed by your clarity of vision at your tender age, and your talent in articulating it so beautifully. I know that this is hard to write, and brings up memories for days and days after.
You are in my heart.
Oh David,
I’m truly moved by the power of your words and the power you have to transform tragedy into art.
Keep writing,
KC
David, all the stories I read on here are completely new to me. I have no experience with domestic violence and I am shocked every time I read. I feel
saddened that you had to watch all your mom went through. It is awful that you had to bear these horrible things.
Eaton.
Amazing. While I’m sorry you and your mother went through this, your strength and your love for your mother humble me.
Thank you for this. You speak for all innocent children who stand by and don’t know how to help. It was very powerful.
…slurred rage fill the home…
…thirst for order and control…
…Memories erased
I love you, mom.
I want to hear this song aloud, with the anger, the pain, then the justice seeking passion, the love, the end of the dark and the beginning of a new memory, taking over the newly blank slate. David, please, keep dreaming and making your own reality, make your music, and guide others to your world of absolute certainty in good because of your understanding of evil and what it takes to become the best and leave the rest. You will inspire my little sisters who listen to and read of other young people, enjoy their lyrics, their way of life…you will inspire them and many, no doubt!
Thank you, David, for your healing voice, your honesty, and your choice everyday.