There was a time in my life when I worked in the domestic violence department at a county courthouse. My job was to look up to see if the person coming in to file a restraining order BUY LASIX OVER THE COUNTER, had any other cases against the same abuser. If so, we made sure the same judge was assigned since, presumably, that judge knew the history. I would get so frustrated when the same women would come in to file restraining orders against the same men over and over and over again. I wanted to slap them myself and say, "Wake up! You deserve better! Why do you stay?" But I didn't. I just processed the paperwork and moved on to the next one.
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The above is my story. I tell it because it's important that others who are in this situation realize that being treated this way isn't ok. Someone who has never been in an abusive relationship can't fathom how anyone could stay in one. The abusers are masterful manipulators. They eat away at everything until you are completely dependent on them and too afraid to leave. You want to believe that they mean it when they apologize and promise it will never happen again. I didn't want to believe that I had made such a monumental error in judgment with him, LASIX without prescription. BUY LASIX OVER THE COUNTER, Through therapy I learned several things. One of which is that it wasn't so much an error in judgment on my part. He showed me who he wanted me to see. He knew I'd never fall for him if he was his true, abusive self. That's what all abusers do. They have to lure women in somehow. They portray themselves as wonderful, caring men. You believe what is presented to you. LASIX results, Anyone going or having gone through an abusive relationship absolutely should consider counseling. It saved my life. I truly don't think I would have been able to overcome the emotional issues that relationship left me with. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, LASIX from mexico. Buy no prescription LASIX online, I believe having lived through that hell that I'm a better person because of it. It has taught me to never settle. I have forgiven him for what he did to me, but I will never forget. I don't want to forget. Because of what I've gone through, I will never let myself be put in that situation again. I've reclaimed the power over my own life.
Stacey writes at Sometimes Meaningful Ramblings..
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Thank you for visiting Violence UnSilenced, a speak-out platform for survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. If you are a survivor and it is safe to do so, we encourage you to share your story here. If you are not a survivor but you want to support those who are, please click around this site and find out more about what you can do.
I coud have written this myself, although i am still to afraid to get out. He will always be in my life because we have a child. I dont feel protected by the law enough to get out right now but I do feel better knowing im not the only one going through this.
As many other women have commented you told my story, thank you for telling it. I believe that this website can help so many women who have been victims and become survivors heal by allowing our stories to be told. I hope that the more we talk the less we will have to.
What an interesting perspective you have given your previous job. Many of us can't fathom, but I do know that doesn't mean I am one to judge since I haven't been there. If only master manipulators could turn that smarts into something positive.
Thanks for sharing your story....
Thank you for reminding us that anyone can fall into an abusive relationship. Abusers are so manipulative, and they get the best of us. I'm glad you made it out and are heading in the right direction now.
Thank you for sharing, Wow...It's almost my story written down for me to see. I'm grateful to have had the chance to read it.
Wow. Thank you for sharing your story. It's almost my story written down for me to see. I'm grateful to have had the chance to read it.
I am happy to read that you found counseling so helpful, and that you are willing to share that here. It is an important message.
Thank goodness you got out... That must have taken a huge amount of courage. Well done, Stacey! I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Wow. Looks like we were all married to the same man. God bless you for saying it so clearly. I've been blogging for a year and don't think I've ever said it so well. I'm glad you are safe now.
I too am a domestic abuse survivor. Thank you for sharing your story so that others can have hope. It was like reading a page from my own journal several years ago. Love and light to you! Always remember ... "down" is not "up" having a bad day. "Down" is where seeds grow, where roots fly free, giving us the ground we so need.
Thank you for telling your story. I have a friend that just got out of a relationship (hopefully she won't go back again). She is a good person but he always made her feel like crap. I kept telling her about a quote I heard that went something like - when someone shows you who they are believe them. Its hard to watch when a friend is going through something like what you went through. But I believe its important, that as a friend you stay put to give that person a life line when they are ready. I'm happy you had some friends that were there for you. Good for you for reclaiming your power. You are strong!!
Thank you for sharing your story-women (and men) need to realize that it isn't their fault that they are abused, that they didn't err in judgement. (((hugs)))
Thank you for sharing your story. My dad was abusive to my mom. She got us out, but not until after MANY times of going back time and time again.
I'm so glad you got out and that your story will reach others. You are helping so many and I hope yourself by sharing your experience here. I admire your courage and strength.
RT @maggiedammit: today's #vu story reminds me that intimate partner abuse can happen to anyone. http://violenceunsilenced.com/stacey/
RT @MaggieDammit: Love today's #vu story because it reminds me that intimate partner abuse can happen to anyone. http://violenceunsilenced.com/stacey/
Love today's #vu story because it reminds me that intimate partner abuse can happen to anyone. http://violenceunsilenced.com/stacey/
This is my story too, down to the line-crossing and the sweet relief felt when that moment comes and you KNOW You have what it takes to get out.
Congratulations, and thank you.
It felt like I was inside your story, reading this as you wrote it. I worked for the Dept. of Health & Social Services while my world was collapsing around me; worked cases with women and children, in need. All the while, I was broken. Battered. Silent. Fractured.
The irony was not lost on me, either. I'm glad you wrote this- that you shared your story, Stacey. Your words matter. They have far reaching impact, as does your choice to escape, to ask tough questions and accept difficult answers.
Thank you. For speaking out- for being here.
thank you for sharing this, Stacey. it's so important for people to understand how it happens. women don't just go out and find some jerk and get into a relationship with him despite him being a jerk. abusive people are rarely 'jerks'.
I hope that many many women read this.
Stacey - I appreciate your story. So many think they will never end up in this place, until they do. I like people to know that often, these men are charming and say what you need to hear until the time you see them for whom they are.
Thank-you for sharing.
I think so many of us are afraid to speak out because as you said, we put some of it on us in making an error in judgement. I have yet to fully understand it, or come to grips with it myself - so thank-you for giving those of us a voice who haven't had the courage to speak out yet.
indeed you have reclaimed the power over your own life. congratulations on your survivorship and may your story be yelled from the roof tops to others who are in desperate need of your words and your strength.
thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing your story. I know that by sharing our stories we give hope to so many others.
Bless you for sharing. You're right in saying that only by speaking out can we hope to change perception and expectations. Abuse is not okay. Thank you for telling your story.
Oh Stacey thank you! I have a friend going through this and is about to marry her abuser. I'm going to try to send this post to her - even if she gets mad.
You have helped more than you know!
Thank you. I am so grateful that I found my way out of my once-upon-a-time nightmare many years ago.
I can totally relate to what you said in the last paragraph. I have forgiven too, but I will never forget. Because forgetting could mean that I didn't learn from it.
Congratulations on getting out!
Thank you so much for sharing your story.
In hindsight I have realized so many of my relationships were headed toward being abusive and I am so thankful I got out of them before they turned too ugly.
You are such a wonderfully brave woman - don't let anyone ever tell you different.
Stacey, thank you for sharing. I'm sure your story hits home to many, many people. It sure does to me. And I think you're right about the counseling. My former husband was never physically abusive. But the scars from the emotional abuse are very deep.
Thanks again for being brave enough to leave and to share your story.
It's embarrassing, isn't it? It's been years, and I'm STILL embarrassed to admit it, which is so dumb. Proud of you for standing up and telling your story proudly. Thank you.
I often wonder how many of us say we'd never end up with someone like that, and then do, to different degrees.
It's not a moral failing. we want to love.
Thank you for writing this. Although I would take the experience away from you if I could, it is important that you went through it. We know when the people who work in the "system" want to shake us and tell us to get out. We know that people in the system wonder why we stay and maybe even think us weak. I hope you stayed in your field of work. It is now that you will be the most effective in helping others through it.
You are a very brave woman to have gone through what you did, get out, and tell your story.
Sharing is the best way to help - you may never know who you'll reach. Thank you for telling your story!
Thank you for sharing your story! I am so very glad you were strong and brave enough to get out..some women find that task impossible. I agree- counseling is a must! By telling your story, someone may read it and realize that they can make that first step in saving their life!
Thank you for sharing...I'm sure you're helping a lot of women who feel powerless by telling your story.
Thank you for sharing this story. As a teenager, I was stuck in an abusive relationship much like you mention here. He was only a boyfriend, and I still lived with my parents, but he has absolute control over my life. I understand how it can happen.