Tanis
In a small town, there was a young girl, barely 17-years-old, who could be described as neither beautiful nor smart. She was just a plain girl, a quiet girl, the type of girl most people overlook; she was invisible.
Invisibility suited this girl fine. She preferred it as her weapon of choice, learning early on in her troubled life that she could avoid trouble, avoid pain, if she remained quiet and stealthy. No one quite knew what her pain stemmed from, what her story really was, but the haunted look in her eyes broadcast the certainty her storybook did not contain the pages of much happiness.
An older boy saw her, barely a year older than her, but legal in the law’s eyes and for the first time she dropped her cloak of invisibility. This boy saw her when so many others didn’t. He was her dark-eyed prince who made her feel invincible.
Together, in each other’s arms, they found solace from their troubled upbringing and united in their love they stood side by side against the world; ignoring wisdom and advice until one day they discovered they were pregnant.
They would be a happy little family.
But life isn’t so easy and the world’s harsh realities pressed against them at every turn. It wasn’t long before the girl abandoned her common sense and sought refuge with drugs, with her boy beside her.
The baby inside her could only take so much and soon her body rebelled, the drugs forcing an early birth of their baby. After only 24 weeks of pregnancy this girl and this boy were soon the parents of a 1 pound six ounce baby boy.
This baby boy fought for life, surprising everyone with his strength of will. He shouldn’t have survived his birth; his lungs were too fragile, his bowels perforated, his heart weak.
But survive he did, and thrive he began. To the doctors’ surprise, the girl stayed steadfast beside her baby’s side. The baby’s father, fancying himself a real man now, worked during the week and visited his child on the weekends.
This routine went on for five months until the child grew strong enough and big enough to be released into the custody of his young parents. The baby was a miracle, they declared. They had no explanation for how healthy and normal he was, instead attributing it to the boy’s will to survive. The doctors worried about sending home this child they had worked so hard to heal with such young, uneducated parents and they tried to prevent it but in the end the young lovers were able to carry their child out of the hospital as a small family and begin their real life.
It took only a month before the grim reality of providing for a wee infant proved to be too much for the young father. The young mother tried, but she too, was overwhelmed by the stress of life and once more they allowed intoxicants to soften the glaring hardships of their life.
In a fit of rage and stupidity one night, the young father picked his wee healthy boy child up and lifted him to the heavens yelling at the child to be quiet, yelling at the child’s mother to shut the kid up, while shaking the baby like a dog does a rag doll.
Thirty-one days after the baby boy had been released from the hospital, doctors stood over him once more, trying to again save his life.
An investigation ensued and soon the young father was taken away in handcuffs as the mother sat beside her baby, dazed and confused as the drugs wore off and the doctor’s words sank in.
Her perfect healthy boy was no longer perfect; the swelling in his brain too severe to overcome, brain damage, blindness.
For three months the boy fought to live inside that hospital, while his father remained in custody awaiting trial. Social services promised to protect the boy, to help the young mom, to do everything they legally could to ensure this baby grew up as healthy as his now damaged body could. The doctors, again amazed at the boy’s survival, shook their heads as they watched the mother take the boy home. Their hands were tied.
For another three months, the baby was safe as his mother stayed clean and doing everything she could to provide for her child. By all accounts she was a loving mother, a gentle spirit and for the many things she had done wrong, loving him was never one of them.
But the legal system failed the baby boy and soon the young father was released from jail. The restraining order ended and social services slowly slipped away from the young mother, taking their promises of safety with them.
The young mother tried at first to distance herself from the man she claimed to love. She wanted to do right by her child but time and life wore her down and slowly the father crept back into their daily lives, bringing with him turmoil and drugs. The young mother wasn’t strong enough to say no to either.
For almost six more months life carried on quietly, the world having forgotten what this young father did to his son, the young mother losing her resolve to protect her child. She loved her child but she couldn’t stop loving this boy who saw past her invisibility.
Then one fateful night, while the stars twinkled quietly and the booze flowed freely, something went terribly wrong. To this day no one knows where the mother was at the time, and to this day the father maintains his innocence.
But in those moments of time as the world stood still, the wee baby boy, barely eighteen months old, blind, mute, and barely 14 pounds heavy, fought for his life once more and was left to die.
Fate finally intervened, and in the morning hours of the next day strangers found the child and stuffed him into a taxicab. His young parents didn’t want to call an ambulance because they didn’t want the police to question them.
The boy barely made it. For three days the left side of his brain hemorrhaged. The doctors fought valiantly to save the boy’s lungs, to treat his chemical burns.
The boy endured another five weeks of hospitalization as the doctors worked to repair the damage. His hearing couldn’t be saved, his brain damaged beyond a level where any normal adult function would ever be possible. The doctors and nurses, horrified, whispered of attempted murder, sexual assault, and other such savagery as they bandaged the boy back together.
The police stood guard to ensure the boy stayed safe, trying to banish the image of the child’s broken body from their minds.
The young parents never saw their child again. The young mother abandoned any pretense she held about being able to care for the child, of being able to protect him, and signed over her parental rights.
The boy’s young father fled, worried he’d be arrested as the government and the police worked together to investigate the violence. Eventually he was caught, but justice was denied his child as the courts ruled there was insufficient evidence to proceed to trial. Social services took no chances this time and terminated the father from his rights to the child.
The baby boy, more so a baby now than ever before, helpless in his own body, found his way to one foster home after another. Eventually, with the seeds of love and the blankets of safety wrapped firmly around him, he began to heal and grow into a new version of himself. A version that never should have been.
Then one day, just over a year ago, the baby boy found me. His social worker, while searching for a forever family, stumbled across my name. She was looking for a family who could see past his limitations, his disabilities and instead see the boy with the spirit of steel and boundless joy.
She said she knew this boy was meant to be our son when she read my file. We are survivors, this boy and me. Our family, desperate to be healed, had the one thing this boy needed: love. Together, she thought, we could heal one another.
She was right.
I’ve waited a year to tell this story, Jumby’s story, of how he came to be, of who he is and what he endured to finally find the family every child deserves to have. It’s taken me this long to find the words to deal with the horror of his past.
I waited a year to tell his story because my son was a victim of violence and his perpetrator remains at large, unpunished for these crimes.
I waited a year to tell his story because I was unsure whether I wanted my older two children to learn of their brother’s past. To do so would mean stripping more childhood innocence away from my kids, who were already robbed of so much when they buried their brother.
But the time has come to share Jumby’s story, now that he is safe and legally ours. I publish these words here, at Violence Unsilenced because I’m not ready for my children to read them just yet, but I needed to write them.
I need the world to know that Jumby is more than just an adopted child. He is more than just a child who is blind, deaf, mentally disabled and quadriplegic to boot.
He is a survivor.
He was a child who was robbed of his health. His future was stolen from him, first by drugs and a premature birth and then by the violence delivered unto him by the very people who were supposed to protect him and love him most.
The promise of who he could have been and what he could have achieved was stripped away one violent act after another until all that remains is my sweet boy’s unconquered spirit and his joy for life trapped in a body so broken there is no hope for release.
He deserved better than that.
All children deserve better than that.
Jumby survived. He was lucky that way.
But there isn’t a beat of his heart that I’m not reminded that not every child is as lucky as he was.
Jumby is more than my son. He is my hero.
####
Tanis blogs at Attack of the Redneck Mommy.
252 Responses to “Tanis”
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Beautiful, sad, heartwrenching. You are a woman of great love and compassion.
I took in my nephew after DCFS decided his father was no longer fit. I welcomed him with love and compassion for what he had been through. The pain of drug addicted parents and other ghastly abuses done to him scarred his little soul. I never wanted to be a parent because of my abusive childhood but I became one the minute I opened my door and my heart to this boy.
I commend you for being so strong and kind and generous and loving to this boy who in the beginning didn’t stand a chance. But with you, he has found solace.
Much love and hugs to Jumby and to you!!
Kimberly
Weeping. Just weeping.
I’m so glad Jumby found his way home to you. No baby deserves to be dragged through that kind of hell.
There needs to be more people like you in this world. You are a caring, wonderful woman and I applaud you.
I’m not sure which one of you is luckier. God bless you all. Tanis, you are my hero.
You are an incredible mother with incredible children.
oh my god, tanis… how you mustered up the strength to write this, publish it and share the story that jumby will never be able to fully comprehend himself, let alone share to help others, is nothing short of miraculous.
words cannot truly convey what a beautiful mother you are and how incredible your family is to have you.
wrapping you in love and peace. and please pass on a snuggle from me to jumby, wishing him much congrats on his survivorship.
wow.
I just realized I was holding my breath the entire time I read this post. and now tears. Amazing! You are BOTH my heroes.
“…my sweet boy’s unconquered spirit…” Dynamic and moving. Both the story, and your precious boy… and also, you.
Speechless and in tears. Agree with Becky and many others in comments. You are both heroes!
That paths leads us where we need to be, that this time it was to love and light and not soft darkness. Fierce admiration of you all.
Wow. I am so happy that he is yours and you are his. What a horrible story with a lovely ending. Thank you for sharing this with us.
This was amazing, T.
I’m so glad you found each other. Congrats on your third son.
I have no words. Just tears. And I wanted to tell you that both you and your son are an inspiration beyond words. Everyday, for the rest of my life, I will remember your story. Thank you.
Tanis,
I read you regularly, though I’ve never actually dared to comment. Except for that one time that you sent me recommendations for hats.
My son suffered similarly, and I empathize so greatly.
It’s truly amazing how a tiny human, who others would look at as “un-normal,” can bring such perfection to a home.
You have a beautiful heart, a beautiful family, and the beginnings of the most beautiful story ever told. Even through the ugly.
xoxox
Praise God for you, Tanis. The courage of baby Jumby to survive is a blessing to all who reads your story. God led that baby straight to you, his mother. Thank you for inspiring me to be a better person today and to make a difference as I teach children and then go home to love my own children.
God bless you.
my baby is now 3 weeks shy of a year, and i can’t fathom …
thank you for sharing his story, and also to your family for also being survivors with him.
That was beautiful and heartwrenching and wow. You and Jumby are amazing.
My heart breaks over what he had to endure in his little life. Jumby is lucky he found a hero in you. A mom to love and protect him and see what he can be and not limit him because of his past.
I can’t help but cry – in sadness and joy. Thank you for sharing – you are a breath of fresh air in the world.
Thankyou for telling this. A beautifully written tale of 2 heroes; you and Jumby.
I am in awe every time that I hear of a child hurt so horribly by the ones who are supposed to love them. And so horribly, your Jumby was hurt. He is lucky to have you. As are your other children. I thank God every day that my kids were born to me. They don’t choose their parents – but luckily God chose me for them. And you for Jumby.
Tanis, you are an amazing mother and Jumby is so lucky to have found you, as you are to have found him! XOXO
I can’t even find words. I cry tears of shear sadness for the things Jumby went through, followed by tears of joy for the fact he found his way to your home where he will know love, happiness and kindness for the rest of his life.
You are my hero, Tanis, you are an amazing person and mother.
ugly crying over here, the kind where you gasp for air and it never seems to be enough. you, your family, both amazing Tanis! i am so very glad you found each other – i believe you help one another survive. no child, no person, should ever endure the hell that jumby did..im glad that he has you, and your family, for now he knows love. Tanis, thank you for finding the strength to let the words leave you and be shared with us. hugs and much love to all of you.
Tanis, you’re an angel. You really are.
wow. this post just brought tears to my eyes. Jumby is a true survivor!
You and your family are amazing. Thank you for sharing this story.
You restore my faith that there are truly good people in this world. Jumby is very lucky to have found a family that will accept him baggage and all and love him unconditionally. He must have known there was something worth fighting for.
Oh Tanis, I am so thankful you found each other.
You have found a hero in each other.
Amazing. You. Jumby. Your family.
Jumby and your family are all so brave, beautiful and strong. I’m overfome with love.
Tanis, You and Jumby are my heroes. I believe the hell you have gone through for the past few years must have been to prepare you for this precious gift. Welcome to the Violence Unsilenced Troop!
You told this story in a way that I could identify with the first young woman–assuming it was you as the storyteller.
What a compassionate way of letting us in to this very tragic story that brought Jumby into your loving arms.
I think this was a brilliant way of telling.
And at the same time I am crushed by the inhumanity that is human.
Thank you so much, Tanis. I heard your voice reading this, like your piece about the “R” word at Blogher 09.
Your heart is huge.
Wow! I’ve been going from one blog to the next to the next and I’m emotionally wasted! I’m in awe!
Thank you so very much for sharing. He is a brave boy, and one who has a hero for a momma. Your words are lovely; you showed such kindness and compassion in sharing the beginning of his story. Bless you.
He is blessed to have a family like yours to finally call his. To finally be safe and loved in.
Should any of it ever of happened? No.
But God sure does do some stuff weird sometimes.
xoxo.
Thank you, Tanis, for sharing this. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to finally share all these wrenching details.
Hold that one close. You obviously have love to give, and he needs that now and forever.
I am so touched by your story. It really sounds like you were meant to be the forever family for Jumby. It makes me so sad that there was no justice for Jumby, but in the end he really is the winner because he has found you.
Even as an adult who knows these sorts of things happen in the world, it is so hard to comprehend that anyone could do things like this to little baby, and yet… I am so happy that Jumby and your family have found each other.
He’s a survivor Tanis and so are you. I’m so glad you found each other.
I’ve said it – to you and about you to others – so many times that it sounds hollow to me now, but you are absolutely amazing. I love you, Tanis. And much love to your sweet son too.
You embody compassion.
this gutted me, on a lot of levels. i am so grateful that Jumby found your arms to be in. and glad, too, for the healing he’s bringing you.
thank you for sharing his story, for giving a voice to the violence that he can no speak of.
I knew his story, hearing it from you just over a week ago, and still it was so hard to read it, to see it out there in print. Jumby is a survivor, he is a hero and I hope one day the man that is responsible for these crimes against this innocent young boy pays for what he has done.
Tanis many (((Hugs))) and love to you for seeing past your son’t shell and into his heart and loving him all the more.
xo
Thank you for sharing Jumby’s story. He is an amazing child, survivor and hero. Both of you have inspired me. I’m so happy that Jumby has a safe and loving home with you and your family. You are all truly blessed. Take care.
Hugs. Heartfelt hugs. That’s all I have.
Thank you for sharing your story. You and your family are truely amazing.
That’s beautiful. And awesome. And so many other things that have already been said.
This is one of the most powerful stories Ive ever read. Tears fill my eyes as I read this because it all sounds too firmiliar….too real….
Chills down my spine, tears in my eyes and this knotted feeling in my gut…..
This story IS compassion. This story IS love.
Tanis-
This story was haunting. It is a tragedy that your son never got a chance to fight for himself, but then again, no one should have to fight against their parents. It’s just tragic.
I’m glad he has found his way to your heart, your family.
Tanis ~ Love.
So. Much. Love
Thank you for sharing this, Jumby’s story with us.
Jumby every breath is grace and strength against inhumanity. I’ll hold his story dear; he is my hero, too.
my heart is broken in a million peices…but also swelling with happiness because you found one another.
it is so hard to imagine this happening…yet it does…on a regular basis.
thank you for telling his story, thank you for finally introducing us to Jumby and how he came to become a member of your family.
you are a beautiful writer, and an amazing person as well. congrats to you on finding such a wonderful little boy, and congrats to Jumby for finding his forever home. may you have a wonderful life together.
You have such a beautiful spirit Tanis- to tell this story with such understanding and compassion for those parents. Jumby and you both are truly blessed to have found each other.
xo
Incredibly sad and horrific what happen to your precious little boy. He is a survivor! Thank goodness he is in your loving home, and arms.
Beautifully written Tanis! I am so glad he found his way to you … and that you found your way to him.
Tanis-
Thank you for sharing Jumbys story. He undoubtably a hero to you, and you in turn are a hero to me. Keep on keepin’ on.
The way hearts come together…
The way this story has unfolded, and the healing ahead for you all.
It touches me, and others, and I’m so so glad you’ve shared it. I know you’ve waited so long.
You are changing lives with your story. Changing people.
xoxo
Arianne
That is the most beautiful and heartbreaking thing I’ve ever read. That child has the strongest will to live, the strongest desire to teach the world something. He will do great things! Amazing. AMAZING. But what he had to endure breaks my heart. No child ever should have to go through what he did. But he survived and he found his way to you, and I’m glad you found each other. Now healing can happen.
Amazing. The unspeakable heartache matched only by unimaginable love.
Perfect and beautiful.
And you are a heroine.
It took me a long time to read this story, Jumby’s and yours. I cried. For a broken baby and for your love that will not let him go. For you, for him, a blessing today. From me.
Beannacht
On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.
And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green,
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.
When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.
May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.
~ John O’Donohue ~
Oh.. sob… this is so heartbreaking… And I am so happy and grateful he found you for his forever family! Jumby is soo lucky…and I know you are lucky to have him too…
You are incredible. Lucky kid.
It’s hard for me to articulate what I feel after reading this, on many different levels (personal/systems/etc.). Am weeping. And wishing I could make changes…
But I just wanted to say that I am so glad you found each other. He deserves to have you in his life. What an incredibly awful story with an incredibly uplifting ending (or beginning…)
Holy.
Shit.
Am completely speechless.
First of all, congratulations on finally making him legally your son!
This is such a sad story. But he is a lucky kid to have found you. (Just as you are lucky to have him.) It’s heartbreaking that people can do this to their children.
Oh, Tanis.
I am so glad that sweet, strong survivor-child found his way to you.
With a story like that, there is no doubt in my mind that Jumby is meant to be on this earth, meant to be loved and to thrive. Most would not have survived the birth, let alone the repeated trauma…what an amazing little guy.
And thank you for opening your heart to give this little man the home he so desperately deserves.
Tanis, I am crying too hard to go have lunch with the kids rihgt now because my god, how could this happen? I can’t even fathom, can’t find words to contain the sorrow and outrage, and this is from someone who doesn’t even know him. How you aren’t sad and angry every day, I don’t know. it seems to me you both have strong spirits, and I’m so glad you found each other.
Thank you so much for sharing his story. Your story. Together. As it rightfully should be.
You both are very lucky to have one another and this was beautifully written.
The only sad part is that the abuser has not paid for his crimes. My hope is that one day somehow he will.
Bless you and Jumby!
Oh, Tanis. I have no words.
You and Boo, Fric and Frac, YOU are the very people who were meant to protect him and love him most. I’m so glad you’ve all found each other, so very glad. <3
On a day that I am writing about love and abuse, I found the link to this on Twitter. Tanis, I am so glad that your family exists — I am so heartbroken that children are not held as sacred and precious by every adult.
Jumby is a miracle, and that you found each other can only be called providence.
Wow Tanis. Thanks for sharing his story.
Sitting here with tears in my eyes so thankful for you Tanis, and for Jumby’s chance at love in his life. I’m so glad you found each other.
Mama, I love you and Jumby so much, even though I’ve only met you once and never met Jumby. The whole Redneck family is amazing.
Thank you for telling this story. You told this story with SUCH grace and love. Thank you.
I will never stop crying at his story. From the first time you told it to me, before you’d ever met him, until today when everyone can know, that boy will never stop making me believe in true bravery.
And you will never stop inspiring me to be more.
I am dumbfounded. I have no words to express the storm of emotions this story sparked. I am both horrified at the ugliness people are capable of. And amazed at the beauty in people like you. Thank you for sharing this.
I just can’t stop crying reading this. You and Jumby are amazing.
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by averygoodyear: Just read @redneckmommy’s post over at ViolenceUnsilenced today – teary-eyed and heartbroken now: http://is.gd/8qXvk...
Much love to you, Tanis.
You have an amazing family.
I can’t imagine my words will add more to those already written here, but accept my feeble attempt. My admiration for you and your family, and your ability to take the worst of grief and turn it into the greatest of unconditional love knows no bounds.
Jumby is truly a lucky young man, and yes, a hero. Thank you for sharing your story.
There are no words, just tears. I am so happy Jumby found you Tanis and so heartbroken about the circumstances.
Every time I am floored by hearing of the monsters walking among us, stories like yours floor me in the opposite way. There is indeed good in this world. And you are a shining example.
The justice system really let this wonderful boy down. I can’t express enough the happiness that I have for you and your family and the amazing story that brought him to his forever family. Happy Jumbaversary
I’m so glad Jumby has you to love.
as dark as the world might be at times, it’s made a better place because people like you are in it.
Thank you. Thank you for seeing this child. Thank you for giving him the home he deserves. Thank you for sharing his story.
I am in tears. No matter how many stories I hear like this (And I hear them all the time because I am a counselor), you never get used to hearing about the horror. I have experienced such pain, but not as young as he was. My story is on violence unsilenced as well: Wendy
My heart goes out to you and I have an amazing amount of respect for someone who is willing to smother him with the love he always needed. A lot of people skip past the sick/broken kids when choosing to adopt. (Let’s all be real here) It takes a lot of strength and dedication to be the one to say “I will.” I truly admire you for that. He is definitely meant to be your soon!!
No words, just hugs.
xoxo
Tanis
I read you all the time……..Right now my heart is breaking but I should be happy because you are such a special woman and that kind of special only comes around when angels need our help.
I have to comment, because I don’t ever want to walk away from such a story without responding, But I have nothing to say.
I’m glad that though Jumby endured such evil he now gets to experience such great love.
oh tanis. oh tanis. i sit here wondering how this could be, how this beautiful boy could be taken through such suffering and lose any voice that he could have had…and then wonder at the strength and clarity and love that you have for him and that he absolutely has for you.
thank you for sharing about jumby’s story, heartbreaking as the beginning is, i think that you have brought a light into his life that might never have been without you.
Tanis, this is such a powerful story and you have told it so well. This awful abuse happens all too often, all over the world.
You are an amazing mother and we’re all lucky to have you to be there for Jumby and the rest of your family. You are making the world a much better place. As one commenter said earlier, you’re *both* my heroes!
Tanis,
Truly heart wrenching. I’m really at a loss for words, except to say congratulations to you and your family on the finalization of Jumby’s adoption. What special and courageous little man he is.
Wow. I’m sobbing.
I’m so happy you found each other. You’re an incredible woman, incredible mother. God bless you.
My heart is broken & healed, I have tears of sadness & happiness from one child’s story.
You & Jumby are both angels that we have been graced with here on earth. Thank you for sharing your story. I will remember it always.
You are an amazing woman. Jumby is an amazing child. You are both so lucky to have found each other.
Once again as I read a post here, I find myself at a loss for words. Thank you for sharing this with us, and your family with us. You and your family inspire me.
Thank you for sharing your story. I knew Jumby was a special boy by reading your blog, but I never knew just how special.
He’s my hero too.
I’ve been sitting here thinking of what to say. And there’s nothing to say. Makes me want to fly to Canada and hug you both though.
Beautiful, heartbreaking, but I’m so glad you told it.
He is so lucky to have you.
Thank you, everyone, for taking the time to read Jumby’s story and sharing such words of kindness for him.
If he could talk, he’d thank you himself.
I am humbled by all of your support.
The very definition of a survivor. Beautiful, heart breaking and makes me hug my son even tighter knowing that Jumby has someone who loves him as much holding him now too.
Tanis. Oh Tanis. I am in awe of you and of Jumby. Words fail me beyond that.
I’m both awed by the horrors he’s already faced in his short life, the heinousness of some people, and the miracle that you found each other.
I know it’s trite, but the world miracle is the only one that comes to mind.
I’m glad his painful road has ended at your doorstep. He couldn’t have found a more loving and wonderful family to help heal his soul all the way.
I’m just so sad that so much healing was required. Children should never be treated like that. That poor little boy… Makes you want to hug him and tell him no one will ever hurt him again like that.
Jumby is a miracle of life and spirit. Thank you for sharing him with us.
there is more than one unconquered spirit here.
and there is love.
I don’t know about God but I think Bug led Jumby straight to you.
Your son amazes me, I sit here stunned and in quiet awe of this brave beautiful boy.
I am so glad that he found his way home.
I don’t know how you manage to be all the things you are. You amaze me. You are more than any one person should be able to be. And I am so glad that your family and Jumby found one another.
I am weeping and I have few words.
God has obviously blessed you and Jumby, Tanis. You are both heroes.
I am crushed by both the depth of horrible, horrible hate and despair this story contains, but also by the depth of the beauty.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I am so happy that you found each other.
How many people would have given everything they had to be excellent parents to this premature little baby, but were deprived the right because of inexperienced, troubled parents? On the other hand, it is few and far between those who would have assumed the responsibilities for a child with so many special needs. Yes, he came into your life for a reason, and you came into his for the same reason – because love heals. God bless your family.
Oh, Tanis! I love you.
Every bone in my body knows that Jumby fought to have a life with you Tanis. Thank you for sharing his story. And thank you even more for loving that boy the way he should have been loved from the beginning.
This story is triumphant in its own right, but told in this way it is also heartbreaking and beautiful. Bossy has been thinking about how fortunate Jumby is to have found a voice for his story, and how lucky you and your family must consider yourselves to have found Jumby.
Love to you, Tanis. Thank you for sharing Jumby with all of us through your words.
Bless your family for finally giving him the home that he has always deserved. This made me sob, and reminded me to hug and love my baby. Thank you. Your Jumby truly is a little hero.
You are all heroes. Jumby, you, your two living children, your angel and your husband. I am amazed by what little souls can endure and astonished by the love he has found with you. Huge hugs, that’s all I have for you – and awe.
Wow. Just wow.
he is a miracle.
I look at my own children and murderous rage bubbles in me towards the unnratural parent that would harm the very person that needs their love.
I am so, so, so VERY angry.
And so very thankful that he is with you, now, forever.
How absolutely heart breaking, but absolutely joyful that you’ve found your boy.
The world is such a better place because you are in it, Tanis. I wish there were a hundred more of you.
REad this with deepest admiration, respect and gratitude for your many gifts. You—and Jumby– redefine survival.
Sobbing. You are an angel, you and Jumby both. He is so lucky to have you, just as you are so lucky to have him.
He’s my hero too.
Jumby is a hero for sure… and so are you!
Holy hell. That’s a shocking story, but an amazing ending/beginning Tanis. I can see how that one needed to be written. Bottling that up would eat you alive.
Hugs to you both
BB
Such a heartbreaking story, but I’m so glad you all found each other.
Thank you for writing about this. I know it must have been hard to write it (and hard not to write it, and hard to decide where and when to write it, and just hard).
Do people like you really exist? What are the rest of us next to you? Just twaddle. Selfish twaddle. You’re just extraordinary. I’m not made of the same stuff and I’m ashamed of that. Thank God you do exist. My prayer: God help there to be more like you please!
That’s amazing. I can’t believe that child actually survived. Glad you found each other.
Crying. Crying crying crying. You are both heroes. Thank you, Tanis.
I’m sitting here in tears. Thank goodness you found each other. That boy is a miracle, a survivor, and a blessing. Please hug him for me.
I am a happy lurker on your blog, and already had some inkling of your capacity to laugh and to love. But in reading your post here and at your site, I am overwhelmed. I pray peace and love and blessing after blessing after blessing on you and Jumby and your entire family. Love will win out. Every.single.time.
You have one more friend in this world – me. Much love to you for the thing you did, the life you saved, the people you inspired. Just about everything is better because of people like you.
Oh, lady. You – you are something. Through all of your humor and huge personality, your steel-strong love shines through brightest of all. You – your family, your son – you are all heroes. Thank you for sharing your story. I can’t even wrap my head around what you all have gone through. And through it all, you still have so much love to give.
Cliche it may be, but you are a testament to love conquering all.
Bless the people of this world who have so much spirited love to give. You among them. I have deep admiration for you and am ever so humbled by your selflessness.
My god. I have no words. You are both amazing, miraculous creatures.
This silenced me…. Unfathomable. Unspeakable. Horrific. But the ending is beautiful — what you both deserve. I am shocked and beyond disturbed by what your child went through. I don’t know what to say. You’re amazing. Love and hugs to you and Jumby.
..the ending is beautiful – yes – but it’s the beginning, of course….
tears…thank you for sharing Jumby’s story, love to you all!!!
Oh Tanis… what a story your Jumby has. I weep not not only in the horror of what happened to your boy, but in the amazing world that somehow brought him to you, a wonderful forever-Mom who loves him so much.
Thank God that for every dirt bag in this world, there are also people like you.
Tanis, I’m speechless. I just…wow. I never knew that Jumby’s story was so terrible. I can’t imagine how proud you are of that little boy and I’m so glad he found your family to love him.
I feel that my words are inadequate to respond to such a beautifully-written, yet haunting story.
*sigh*
Ohhh sweet, sweet Jumby. Tanis, you brought tears to my eyes. What an amazing gift that you were brought into each others’ lives. Thank you so much for sharing this.
*sob* I get it. Thank you for sharing your brave boy’s story. Love to you. -Me
Tanis – I told Daren this story last night through choked back tears, and he was in awe of how you and your husband took this tragedy and made it into something so beautiful. We both feel it takes a very special couple to take on such a lifelong commitment and you and your husband must be very special people with huge hearts. Jumby is a very very lucky little boy to have you, and it’s so obvious you feel the same way about him too. You are all heroes.
xoxox
Oh, Tanis. I read this yesterday but didn’t know what to say. I *still* don’t know what to say but wanted to say that I’m here.
Incredibly sad story, I’m glad that Jumby found the family he deserves and the love that he needed – big hugs to you and your family.
Wow! What an amazing story! What an amazing mom! This world is a better place because of people like you. I am in awe. Thank you so much for telling your son’s story, I wish you both all the peace and happiness you deserve.
As you can tell by the number of comments here, your story has touched a lot of hearts. I hope you will continue to share Jumby’s story with the world at large. A world that would like to pretend that stories of such horror and such elation exist. Jumby is indeed fortunate to have found a loving home with you and you, in return, are equally blessed I am certain.
(((u all)))
I am speechless Tanis. Also so thankful for people like you in our world. So happy that he found a beautiful family.
Very touching story !!!!
It took me awhile to recover from this. After being failed by so many people that were supposed to love, cherish and protect him, I’m thankful that Jumby has been blessed with you and your family as his safety net. We don’t always carry our children in our wombs, but that doesn’t diminish the love that you feel.
How fitting that your one year anniversary falls on the one year anniversary of VU itself. I can’t think of a better story to mark the passage of that milestone with. Of all the tales of triumph, of unbreakable spirit, of the sheer will to survive this one may be the purest. Because there was no conscious thought in this young boy’s drive to succeed, he beat the odds with a will that couldn’t have come from anywhere but a place very deep rooted in the soul.
Yes. This is the perfect way to mark a milestone. With a story distilled from the very essence of survival.
Much love.
Gosh. So sad for what Jumby went through. So happy that your family found him, and you’ve given him a voice. Bless you.
I’m so glad that Jumby found your family/his family, so sad that any child should suffer at the hands of those who should love and protect them. Your heart shines in your words. Thank you for sharing your and Jumby’s story with us. Sending much love to you all.
I have a saved DM from you dated 11/17/09 that says I “freaking rock” and am a “good man” and that you’re “proud to know” me. That’s how I feel about you, times 5. Except for the part about being a man.
Having a little boy and thinking about Jumby’s going through this while reading your account above makes “heart-wrenching” too inadequate an adjective. I might have to give you an embarrassingly long hug next time I see you this summer.
Every soul has a purpose. God does not make junk. Some would have written off Jumby on the day of his birth, and every day after that. God neve did and he knew that your family needed him just as much as he needed you. May you revel in the love that flows from your hearts into your home.
Thank you for being who you are. God bless Jumby.
Kudos to yours and your baby’s strength..
hugs to you and your family..
i read jumby’s story to my daughter last night. it moved her to tears. if nothing else, know that jumby has two more in his corner to fight for him and his spirit… and all the children of the world who don’t have the love my daughter and jumby have found. thank you for sharing.
Your boy is truly a survivor Tanis.
Jumby is clearly a miracle. You and your family are truly a gift to him. I’m so happy you found eachother.
Thanks for having the courage to tell your story. You are amazing and so is your family.
Tanis, I read your blog and knew there was a back story to Jumby. Oh your words made me cry. Jumby is an amazing soul and so are you.
God bless you Tanis and your family. Jumby is truly blessed to have you, his forever family.
And I can tell the blessing certainly goes both ways.
Tanis, your an amazing person, and so happy the Jumby gets to feel real love.
Wow, though Jumby had a terrible start , I’m happy that he found such a loving family to be with.
What an absolutely amazing story. You are indeed an angel. As sad as it is that he had to endure such pain, had to have such significant impairment put upon him, it is equally amazing and wonderful that he is now with a loving family.
God Bless You.
I’ve followed your blog (silently, for the most part) for a long time. Thank you for speaking out FOR Jumby, for being his voice when he has no other.
Oh, Tanis. And dear, sweet Jumby. I read your other site and just happened to land here today. What are the odds, I thought, as I saw the name Tanis in the title. While I have wondered about Jumby’s story in the past, I wasn’t sure that you would ever publish it. Thank you for sharing. And thank you for being you. Thank you for providing for a child that needed so much. And thank God for Jumby. He is truly a hero.
This was such a touching story, I almost started to crying when I read it. God Bless you and all of you who take in Foster Children. You all have so much of my respect and admiration.
VERY powerful, babe! Great and awesome is Tanis! Lucky too .. That’s one SPECIAL little boy.
Wow. Just wow. I cringed my way through your beautiful words, hoping it would be someone else’s story. But yours has a strong and happy ending and you have your forever boy. G-d bless you, Jumby and your very special family.Lots of love from a longtime reader but seldom commenter on RM.
Tanis, this story is heartbreaking. I am so thankful that Jumby was given a chance with you, and that you are now his forever family. He could not be luckier to have such a wonderful mom and family. He is home.
Oh, Tanis.
You’ve often alluded to Jumby’s history, but it is more terrible than I ever could have imagined.
Your telling of it is heroic. Your family is heroic.
Congratulations on the adoption, and thank you.
Thank you.
I have read your blog over the past month and am amazed at your strength and today you brought me to tears again. It is just heart breaking to hear what he has had to survive and by surviveing he was given to the most perfect of homes for him. Yours
Bless you…
I am sitting here crying. I just don’t understand. Thank you for telling Jumby’s story. It needs to be heard.
Thank you for sharing your and your son’s story.
Tanis, I’ve been reading your blog regularly for a long time, and although I rarely comment, I have followed Jumby’s journey into your home. His story is heart-breaking, I didn’t expect to ever read his story. You’ve found the perfect forum for it… and I admire you even more now.
I wish you all the best in your futures!
I loved every word. I am SO thankful for Jumby. What a blessing your sweet son is.
I’m amazed and humbled by the strength of spirit it takes to take on the challenge of a child with so many struggles facing him in life. I’m glad he found someone to love him as he should be loved even as I wish that he’d never been put in this situation in the first place. Props to you for seeing past that broken little body to the little boy who needed a forever family, and the very best wishes as you go through this journey together.
Not many of these make me cry any more, because I feel pretty much cried out these days. But this one did. I am so glad he has found a loving home.
Maybe in a way, his loss of hearing and sight is a blessing in disguise. Since he’s not subject to the audio and visual triggers that bring back those horrible memories, it’s possible he is able to heal in ways that many children with less serious physical damage cannot. Since he has only the feeling of your presence and touch to rely on, he knows without a doubt that you love him. Much love to you both.
As I sit here with tears streaming down my face at how moved, valiant, courageous, and magnificent you are there will be no justice in the gratitude I want to express.
Jumby is a hero and will forever be.
Tanis, you, as his loving mother, are as well.
I bow to the divine light in you, and in Jumby. Namaste.
Oh, Tanis. Amazing how the universe works. I’ve been following you for a while now on Twitter, just about the time I decided to join the world of blogging. Love your attitude. Never imagined this backstory. Incidentally, I co-chair a committee for an organization in my hometown to raise money for its child abuse prevention programs. I had been feeling bogged down by bureaucratic details and trying to keep in my WHY I’m volunteering my time. Reading this was a great big answer. Some angel just tapped me on the shoulder and said “Hey, girl, get your head on straight.” My inconveniences are NOTHING compared to what families like yours handle every day and you do it from such a place of love that there really are no words. Thank you for sharing.
I wish you and your amazing family the best of luck, and I thank you for having the courage to share his story. You are such an amazing person for having taken him in and providing him with the unrequited love and devotion that you have. I admire your strength and love.
Thank you.
Oh, Tanis, both what a story. What a survivor that boy is. And what incredible grace for both you and him that he has found his way into your family. Thank you for sharing this.
Stories like this make me lose my faith, then find it all over again. So glad that you found each other . . .
I can barely see to type this…. tears of joy and horror. You are my hero.
Thanks for sharing Jumby’s story. I’ve anxiously awaited hearting it since I found your blog a few months ago. Words are not coming easy to me because I know how true your story is. See I’m a Social Worker and I see things like this almost everyday. Jumby is a lucky one to have found his way to you, into your heart and into your loving home.
God bless Jumby and his mom!!!
Oh Tanis. Jumby is a miracle, and so are you.
Praise God that you have found each other.
Beautiful. Both of you.
What strikes me most reading this is your compassion for the mother. You are genuinely a good person. And I know that sounds meaningless and silly, but believe me when I say there is no greater praise from me. You are one of the good ones. The people who always see beyond, even when it seems impossible. The people who care and care and care through the pain and the agony and the anger. You, Tanis, are a good person.
Amazing. Thank you, Tanis, for writing this.
The things that should never happen to children break my heart. The love in the world, the capacity people have to love and heal and grow and survive, are bandaids on the break.
Blessings on your family.
Tanis thank you, it broke my heart to read it having dealt with the Alberta Child services with regard to my Step-kids and winning custody of them I understand the turmoil he has been through.
The one IMPORTANT thing I know in my heart is that they finally did right by Jumby by gauranting an amazing future with the Redneck family! Every child deserves a family like yours!
Thank you for telling this heartbreaking story.
I will continue to tell it to those I know.
Bless you for taking Jumby and giving him love and safety that he deserves. May your story inspire many others to rescue those who need us.
I will never understand how people can do the things they do to innocent children, but how amazing that Jumby’s first stroke of luck was finding you.
Thank you so much for sharing this amazing story.
Tanis,
I am so so angry at Jumby’s biological parents. I hope that someday someone makes them pay for what they have done. That said, I am so glad you shared this.
Oftentimes, these stories end in death. We had a local boy go through a similar fate and unfortunately he has died. I am sure Jumby will live and thrive under your care.
He is so lucky to have found you and you are so lucky to have found him. He will grow up into a wonderful man!
Oh T, I have no words. Only tears for Jumby & the rest of your family. Tears of sadness for all that he has been through. Tears for you and your family for all that you have lost. But also tears of relief and joy that you have all been brought together. You are a helluva woman Tanis. And Jumby is beautiful.
tanis, it’s so good to finally read jumby’s story after following your blog for more than a year.
this is a win-win situation.
what i appreciate most about this story, is the way you are un-judgmental of the birth parents. especially the mother. i have an adopted child whose mother could have been this girl. she was one of those invisible, quiet, weak girls also, and ended up taking some drugs, and i’ve struggled to find forgiveness and compassion for her as i watch the effects on my child.
you’ve been brave and gentle with this story. it does make me wish the laws were more child-friendly. all too many kids go back again and again to terrible situations that nobody seems to be able to do anything about. hey- idea…MAKE A JUMBY LAW!!!
thanks!
Congrats on the adoption–I read your blog regularly and am amazed at your strength and outlook on life–
Your Bug brought you Jumby–you are a great mom!
OMG Tanis, I am sitting here with tears running down after reading this story. Jumby is a beautiful litte boy (his smile blows me away) and I am so glad that you found him. You wrote this perfectly but (my wife said this and I agree) I am not sure that I could show the understanding towards this mother that you do in writing this.
Thank you for sharing and bless you and yours! I think, from reading Redneck Mommy for the last year or so, that Jumby could not have found a more perfect home.
Lovely — thanks for sharing — you are my hero!
You are amazing. You are kind and understanding and strong. Congratulations on adopting Jumby. I wish you and your family a lifetime of happiness.
I am so glad that you found each other.
You and you’re family are truly great people. I understand slipping through the cracks and no one helping an abused child, as I was one. I know that there is a special place somewhere very hot for parents that hurt their children.
Know that you are amazing!!
Tanis, Thank you for sharing your son’s story here. It was very moving.
WOW. I am speechless. I am sickened. I am thrilled he has you. May God bless you both. You all.
What an amazing woman you are. Beautiful and heart wrenching story. He iso lucky to have found you. And so are you.
Oh, this is amazing. I’ve been waiting to read this story. I hope I get to meet Jumby some day. I’m so glad you all found each other.
Tanis, I read your blog but never have commented…..need to rectify that, sorry. I am an attorney representing CPS in the states and the failures of the system in Jumby’s case strike me to the core. So awful…..I hope beyond hope that I can help, just a bit, to make sure other children are not abused like Jumby was, over and over and over…… More than anything, Jumby’s story strengthens me to fight for the rights of children to be loved and safe.
What a survivor he is. How lucky you and he are to have found each other.
This story is so heart-wrenching, I barely know what to say.
You are a great person & I’m so glad that Jumby is a part of your family. May you all have happiness together, forever.
So hard to read. Broke my heart. I’m so glad he found his way to you.
I do so want to write what I feel after reading this, but words evade me.
Am too choked up to think up coherent lines to put in here.
May God give Jumby the stength to overcome all his short-comings. Like he has before.
And may God bless you too, for having the strength of conviction to open your home and heart for him.
Much love to you all.
Tremendous story. Thanks for sharing Jumby’s story with us all, and more important, for sharing your love with and for Jumby!
Tanis you have a talent to write i just read this story and some of your blog attack of the redneckmommey you should write a book it hits home on alot of levels, all children are a gift our little teachers in their own way keep up the great writing.
What a devastating story. Thank you for sharing it with us. My oldest was also removed from his birthmother’s care. You have done a beautiful job of telling the hard truth, while still respecting your son’s first mom. I am deeply moved by your decision to adopt your precious son.
I am absolutely amazed.
I don’t know how you manage to be so understanding and kind to your son’s biological parents.
Thank you.
Incredibly moving and well written. Jumby should, by all accounts, be gone and forgotten. I don’t know what it is that people like you have inside you but I wish I had it inside me. You are truly a hero.
This story would make me cry if it weren’t true, just from the sheer idea of the horror. To know that your little guy suffered so much at such a young age is heartbreaking. Thank goodness you both found each other.
Thank you Tanis for sharing your heart, your words and your family with that precious boy.
Silently crying tears of complete sadness at what your little boy has had to endure in his short life. So glad he found a forever family to love him, in spite of his broken body. With your help, his spirit will recover even if his body can’t.
Thanks for sharing this heart-wrenching and yet wonderful part of your life.
The world is a better place knowing that you two were able to find one another.
Thank you for finally sharing the story of your incredible son.
What a powerful yet beautiful story. Often we wonder why we are on a certain path and we look out and can’t see the end and we get worried and scared. We face horror and wonder how we will ever look at the world clearly. But one day, the sun shines brighter than ever before and we are surprised by something so wonderful. No one should ever have the experiences you’ve had. It is those experiences that shape you in to the amazing and fabulous mom that you are.
Best Wishes!
Oh Tanis. Oh my.
God bless you. And your son.
Wow! What an incredible story Tanis. I’m glad that you and Jumby found each other. You have a huge heart! The world would be a better place if we had all just an ounce of your compassion and love! Thank you for sharing this.
This is such a heartbreaking story. It’s unbelievable that anyone could do such things to a helpless child. It’s wonderful that you’re able to take him under your wing and provide the safe and loving home he should have been born into.
So glad you shared your story. Both you and Jumby are true heroes. Your courage humbles me. May God always bless you and guide you, and give you the strength to carry on.~KK
What a heartbreaking life, yet what a survivor. Jumby has certainly found his real Mum in you Tanis.
You are an angel. It never ceases to amaze me the capacity for evil that some humans have. To hurt a child like that is just so unimaginable to me. I just don’t get it. Thank God for wonderful people like you. I am truly amazed and inspired by your (and Jumby’s) story.
I just stood up at my desk crying and applauded you. My boss must think I am nuts.
My God, literally. I have dual tears for the horrors inflicted and for his downright amazing and inspiring strength and his will to live, and for the beauty in him that he can trust and love and live and be happy in his new (a family with you!) world.
Speechless and crying. Thank you Tanis for what you have done – thank you for all the children out there that are crying out for someone to take them and love them when the world seems bleak. You are a truly special soul.
I linked to this via “Attack of the Redneck Mommy” (which I LOVE btw) and your recent blog about Jumby and flying. My heart is so amazingly and wonderfully touched by your words and heart. My eyes are filled with tears but my soul is filled with joy, celebrating your sweet family. Tanis your strength & courage inspire me. Thank you for sharing Jumby’s story!!!
You and yours are so strong! I don’t understand how anybody could hurt a tiny little baby…especially if it is your own but, even if it is someone else’s!! It’s a sweet lil baby. Why don’t they put down grown people who do such things, they are worse than a wild animal…even a wild animal would protect and kill or even give it’s own life for it’s own baby!! A human being who would not do that for it’s own flesh and blood but, harm is of no use to society!! You are a Godsend and so is he!
Oh my god. I don’t even know what to say. I’m just sitting here bawling. Totally in awe and speechless. Jumby isn’t the only hero – so are you, Tanis.
Definitely Tanis and Jumby are heroes. With the Independence Day holiday just past have been talking with my sons about heroes and bravery, specifically that being brave doesn’t mean never being afraid or unsure, instead bravery is taking action despite fear, uncertainty, previous failure, etc.
Tanis, your resolve to see Jumby’s birth parents as human beings, despite their monstrous acts, is a generous gift not just to them but Jumby as well because it fosters the spirit of love you are lighting in him.
WOW! I always feel totally ridiculous when people say how “good” we are for adopting. I always say that we are the lucky ones, that we are blessed because he came into our lives not the reverse. And even though your story is so much more traumatic than ours, and Jumby suffered so much more that my son, and many people would not be able to look beyond the damage he had suffered, I love that you let others know that he brings his unique personality and strength to your family.