Comments on: Wednesday Q&A: How Can I Help My Kids Avoid Abuse?

By: Elizabeth Kaylene

Elizabeth Kaylene — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 21:17:31 +0000

A lot of people really don’t know how often sexual and physical abuse occurs in teen relationships. It’s scary but all the more reason to talk to kids and teens about the warning signs. I wish someone had talked to me more about sexual abuse.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 16:11:06 +0000

Thank you for asking that question. I have a two year old daughter and a four year old son. I was sexually abused by a family friends brother when I was four and am terrified of not being able to protect my children from situations like this.

By: Lillian

Lillian — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 23:46:15 +0000

Thank you Maggie and Carrie for these Q & A posts. I don’t have any kids but I have a 3-year old niece and a 14-year old nephew whom I adore and I worry about how they’re going to fare in the world, almost as much as if they were my kids.

By: Lil

Lil — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 20:36:22 +0000

This is invaluable ~ thank you!

By: Mojo

Mojo — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 18:44:13 +0000

Excellent question — and answer. I was especially happy to hear the words “non-judgmental” and “open”. Everyone knows that these are important properties of effective communication with your kids, but in times of crisis — or worry, or anger or whatever — we forget. This is something I firmly believe can’t be stressed too much. Teenagers are always going to be recalcitrant. It’s in the job description. But if you want them to clam up entirely, then pass judgment on them, their friends, their significant others. They’ll shut you off so completely you’ll think they’ve been taken by the body snatchers. And they’ll do it right now.

Yes, we still have to be the adults in the equation, and yes there are going to be times when “this is not a democracy” still applies. But if they know there’s at least a chance you’ll listen to them without throwing a snit over some dumb teenager thing they’ve done, they’re a lot more likely to talk to you when it counts. When they need it the most, and hopefully before there’s a problem.

Thanks Carrie, as always, for the insight and the expertise. And thanks to the writer for bringing such an important question to the table!