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I never thought it would happen to me.
Does anyone really believe it's in their future to be raped. It's only been recently that I've been able to say that I am a victim of rape, ULTRAM overnight, and this happened more than thirteen years ago.
He was my high school sweetheart. ULTRAM from mexico, We'd dated for two years, which in high school-speak meant we were practically engaged. We were a bit of a golden couple, ULTRAM online cod, both of us captains of our athletic teams, Buy cheap ULTRAM, honor roll students and happy. Even after we broke up, we were still very close friends, BUY ULTRAM NO PRESCRIPTION. He told me about the girls he was dating; I asked his opinion on guys. We hung out together when we were both dateless on weekend nights, buy ULTRAM no prescription, shared hot fries from McDonald's and talked on the phone all the time.
College took us to different places, Low dose ULTRAM, but we still kept in touch and saw each other when we were both home. I was his date for several of his formal events. He came to visit me at my campus, ULTRAM brand name, and made all my roommates swoon. BUY ULTRAM NO PRESCRIPTION, He was one of my best friends, and I loved him dearly.
After graduating from college, he went on his way to a new job in a new city while I stayed in our hometown to work. Order ULTRAM online overnight delivery no prescription, One Friday, he showed up on my apartment's doorstep. A conference had brought him to town for the weekend, order ULTRAM from mexican pharmacy. Excited, Where can i order ULTRAM without prescription, we settled in for a night of catching up and hanging out. We cracked open a bottle of tequila and played silly drinking games.
I can count on one hand the number of times I've gotten stupidly drunk; This was time number two. Not much remains in my memory of what happened that night, BUY ULTRAM NO PRESCRIPTION. What I do remember is very out-of-body, ULTRAM gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release, as if I were floating in the corner of my room looking down on the scene below. Ordering ULTRAM online, I was naked in my bed. He was on top of me and inside of me and it hurt. I had never had intercourse before -- was it supposed to hurt so much, ULTRAM schedule. BUY ULTRAM NO PRESCRIPTION, I was groaning and panicked. I think he took it to mean pleasure.
I woke up alone. ULTRAM maximum dosage, My private parts were burning and I felt red and raw all over. I was so ashamed -- I couldn't even remember all of what had happened. I blamed myself because I’d drunk myself unconscious, ULTRAM dosage. I took a hot shower and I pulled myself together as best as I could, BUY ULTRAM NO PRESCRIPTION. My roommate saw my brave face and gently asked if I was okay. ULTRAM dangers, I softly told her what happened with my eyes down. She apologized that she hadn't come in -- she'd thought she'd heard something from her room on the other side of the apartment, but wasn't sure as she'd been drunk herself, canada, mexico, india. She felt horrible even though I assured her she shouldn't.
I moved through the rest of that weekend in a daze. BUY ULTRAM NO PRESCRIPTION, My best friend. ULTRAM canada, mexico, india, Quite honestly, had he asked me to have sex, I might have done it out of love for him, ULTRAM natural. I had vowed to remain a virgin until marriage, Where can i cheapest ULTRAM online, and now I wasn’t sure I still fit the definition. I just knew this wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
I told my big sister, who didn't have words for me, ULTRAM forum. Yet she and my roommate both did the same loving thing for me. In that day and age, the term "date rape" was just becoming a familiar one, BUY ULTRAM NO PRESCRIPTION. Cheap ULTRAM no rx, Talk shows were covering the topic. My roommate taped an episode of Sally Jessy Raphael on the topic. My sister also taped a talk show -- maybe it was Rikki Lake, buy no prescription ULTRAM online, I can't remember. ULTRAM price, coupon, Quietly, and without knowing the other had done the same, they each gave me those tapes.
I never watched either of those shows, ULTRAM dose. BUY ULTRAM NO PRESCRIPTION, I didn't speak about this experience for a long while. I never even really broke down and cried about it. Buy ULTRAM no prescription, I was so ashamed, and felt it was my fault because I'd been drunk. So I suppressed it, ULTRAM steet value, hoping that if I didn't think about it, ULTRAM over the counter, all would be fine and I wouldn’t be affected anymore. Nothing was farther from the truth, of course, ULTRAM reviews. It affected me every single day, with every relationship I had, with every encounter I had with anyone.
A few years later I spilled this story to a co-worker, who hugged me close and told me I had been raped, BUY ULTRAM NO PRESCRIPTION. She told me I wasn't to blame. Get ULTRAM, That I’d been wronged. That my drinking didn’t nullify what he had done to me. That I could be helped. BUY ULTRAM NO PRESCRIPTION, I found a therapist and cried a river. I was no longer in shock. I was able to examine what had happened. I learned from it and no longer allowed it to own me.
I never heard from my "best friend" again after that night. I guess that’s not a surprise. I don't know where he is anymore, and I'm fine with that.
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Comments
This story is so similar to what happened to a friend of mine, that I had to double-check to make sure she hadn't written it. It's crushing what something like this does to our natural instinct for trust. I'm so sorry for what happened, and so glad you were able to tell your story. How could someone who called himself a friend hurt you this way?
I understand what you mean about wanting to wait for marriage and having it taken from you. How do you get that back??
I hope he hangs his head in shame every single time he thinks of you.
Alcohol should never be an excuse for anything. Not for commiting these horrendous acts on people nor for having them done to you.
Your rights remain in tact regardless.
Thank you for sharing!
Big hugs for you, honey. Big, big hugs. I have been there.
Unfortunately, so many of us think that because we love this person, it can be okay.
Its not okay.
And I'm glad that you have gotten peace from that.
How awful and sad that your best friend let you down, hurt you and left you to deal with his betrayal. Hopefully the telling of this will let you be free.
Eaton.
My best friend's fifteen year old daughter was just date raped. The amounts of emotions and lightning speeds of which they keep changing is absolutely suffocating me. She doesn't live near me, several states away, so I'm limited as to what I can do in the way of support. Not to mention, I don't even know what to do. Fortunately my friend is holding herself together and doing everything she possibly can to help her daugther through this.
I haven't been able to visit this site as much as I'd like, so I was sitting here this morning reading through the posts when I found yours. I'm going to forward this to my friend because I think, at some point, her daughter will get something from it. The hardest thing, we hear about date rape all the time, but never really think about it. They were so sure they could trust him when they sent their little girl out the door with him with specific plans on where they were going and what they were doing.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I think it will help her to realize that there was nothing she could have done, nothing she should have seen, etc. There doesn't have to be warnings or signs, there was no way for her to know. She's so sweet and young... always so innocent. She needs to see that others have made it through this thing, and she can, too. Thank you for being strong enough to show that.
Thank you....that's all I can say....thank you
I wonder how many of us have had to be told by a sister, friend, roommate, etc. that it was, indeed, RAPE by our "friend." Thank you for sharing your story. Mine also involves someone I trusted and thought was my friend. He had been set up for me as my fraternity "big brother" when I was a pledge in a sorority. Does that make the rape incest? Maybe he somehow knew that I was already an incest survivor (though I never told him with words).
It's interesting that we never saw these "friends" again. They know what they did was wrong. They know they are rapists. That's why they disappeared.
Wow. That's an incredible story. I'm so sorry that this is something you have to live with. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Stay Strong!
*sigh* I am so very, very sorry. I wish there was something I could say to make it better. I'm glad you spoke out about it, sought help and shared your story here. You're a strong, strong woman!
xoxox
I am so sorry.
It isn't fair.
The most painful betrayal and hurt is it was someone you cared about and trusted. Never in a million years would you have thought he would do this to you.
The only one who should carry any shame is the so called friend that took something he had no right to take, while you were vulnerable and drinking. This took an amazing amount of courage to speak up and talk about. Thank you for the strength you took to tell your story. Perhaps another woman will read this and find some solace in your words. (Hugs)Indigo
http://tinyurl.com/c6j9kg Violence Unsilenced
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Thank you for sharing, so that others know they are not to blame either. Just because someone is drinking does not make it OK, neither does his being your best friend. I am so sorry you had to go through this.
RT I wrote about it and hope it helps even one other woman: http://tinyurl.com/c6j9kg
I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing your story here, hopefully it will show someone else that it's not their fault either.
that definitely does not count as losing your virginity in my book.
I am so sorry, so very sorry he did that to you.
It wasn't your fault, never your fault. Thank you, for being brave and letting it out here.
Bless you for sharing. Maybe it's wrong for me to feel this way, but I'm praying that your "friend" carries a heavy, heavy load in the burden of guilt. I'm taking his absence from your life as a blessing for you and an indication that he KNOWS he did WRONG!
What happened was not your fault! I wasn't there, but there is no doubt that he knew what he did and what he took from you.
Peace,
I'm sorry this happened, but I think it's so important that no matter how long ago it was, you got it out there for the benefit of everyone who might be able to avoid such a thing happening today, and who might be able to label and thus better understand and move past a similar event in their own lives.
Who knows how many lives you have now salvaged before they will ever need salvaging?
Drinking or not, it wasn't your fault. Don't ever forget that--thank you for being brave here and sharing your story.
I think that this is a story that has happened to more women than some would think.
I'm glad you were able to get help through therapy.
RT @MaggieDammit: Today's survivor story is one of date rape. Please go show your support for her: http://tinyurl.com/c6j9kg
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Thanks for sharing that with us, and I hope writing it helped a bit in healing.
Hugs to you, my friend.
I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you, and greatful that you spoke out. thank you for sharing your words create infinate ripples of hope in the universe.
you know, i never really think too much about my first time.
i was 15. i was really drunk. he was 23. he carried me into the bedroom because i couldn't walk. i don't remember anything but excruciating pain and then vomiting all over him.
i threw up for two days straight and couldn't pee for days without crying.
i figured it was my fault because i drank half a bottle of tequila and apparently was sitting on his lap. at least that's what i'm told, i don't have any recollection aside from random pictures and stories from others.
i've never called it rape, although some friends did.
now that i have a daughter, it shames me.
i still don't know what i'm going to say when she asks me about losing my virginity.
I wrote about it and hope it helps even one other woman: http://tinyurl.com/c6j9kg
I'm so sorry, hon.
But I'm glad you shared this.
Sending love.
I am sorry HE took away your right to choose. Toss away the shame and don't look back. This wasn't your fault.
hug. thank you for sharing. our stories are similar in what happened and i am glad that you got help.
RT @MaggieDammit: Today's survivor story is one of date rape. Please go show your support for her: http://tinyurl.com/c6j9kg Pls RT too.
Today's survivor story is one of date rape. Please go show your support for her: http://tinyurl.com/c6j9kg Pls RT too.
I'm grateful to you for sharing this story ...and I'm grateful to that co-worker that finally named you shame and opened up the floodgates that lead (or is still leading) to your healing.
Peace,
Lil
Thank you for sharing your story.
r/t @MaggieDammit Today's survivor story is one of date rape. Please go show your support for her: http://tinyurl.com/c6j9kg
Today's survivor story is one of date rape. Please go show your support for her: http://tinyurl.com/c6j9kg
Brave doesn't begin to cut what you are. You're amazing. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Thank you for sharing what happened to you.
you are a hero - for speaking up, for telling your story, for believing it wasn't your fault and for healing. i hope more women learn to speak up for themselves and be as brave as you have been.
I'm so sorry. Thank you for having the courage to share your story.
I am so sorry you were mistreated in this way - thank you for sharing your story. By putting this all into words, you are taking a little bit more of it's power away every day and giving more and more power to yourself and other survivors - thank you.
I'm so sorry that someone you trusted could betray that trust so horribly. you are a strong woman.
I am so sorry you had to go through this. You are very brave to write it. I'm glad you're in a better place about it.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. You are brave to speak out and I hope this will help make a difference in someone else's life.
I am so sorry for you. But what others have said is true. By writing this you have helped others. This was a big eye opener for me. I intend to share this with my daughter, so that she will avoid drinking more than a small amount so that she is not exposed to such danger. When even trusted long time friends can commit such acts, it proves that there is NO safety when a person gets drunk. The drunken person is utterly vulnerable. And her drinking disabled your potential rescuer, your roommate. I can only hope that my daughter will remember your story any time she is tempted.
Let me be very clear here - your drinking does not in ANY WAY whatsoever nullify what this man did to you. And it is NOT "your fault" that this happened. I am not saying that. But as a mother, I read such accounts and try to figure out how to protect my own daughter. And my own son. I can't fathom what it would be like to be in your shoes or your rapist's shoes. But I want to make darned sure that neither of my children experience something similar. So I will share this with him as well, to make sure he understands the dangers of drinking too much. I don't want him to have a lifetime of regrets and shame over something he did because of too much alcohol.
I've seen how it affects people and changes their whole personality and actions. And how the next day they have no recollection of things they've done or said. Don't get me wrong - I like a cold beer or glass of wine or nice cocktail very much. But I've seen the extraordinary damage too much can do to families.
You're in my thoughts. Take care.
Big comfy Grandma hugs---and a BRAVA for your courage to speak.
Sending lots of hugs your way today...
You are so brave to share this story. Thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Without a doubt, it will help other women who have been in your situation, thinking it's their fault. I hope you've been able to find some peace of mind.
He betrayed you, emotionally and physically. Kudos to you breaking your silence.
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