The Beginning
The day I announced I’d be starting a domestic violence blog, I signed up for two Google alerts. Any time the words “domestic violence” and “murder suicide” appeared in the national news, I wanted to know about it. At the time I wasn’t exactly sure what this new blog would be, and I thought the alerts would be a good start, a practical way to stay up to date on blogworthy news items. I thought it would give me ideas. I expected a handful of emails and a truckful of inspiration.
But from day one my inbox was bombarded. In fact, I was so overwhelmingly inundated by domestic violence and sexual assault related emails that I had to cancel the alerts to preserve my sanity. I’m not gonna lie; I felt very discouraged and small. I felt like this was a mistake. I knew this was a huge issue, but I’d never really looked at the prevalence of violence on a day-to-day basis and it blew my mind. Frankly, it delayed this project for a while. After all, who the hell am I?
I am not an expert. I am not an educator. I am not a counselor. I’m just a woman hobbled by an old experience, a journalist inspired by a story, and a blogger — and that’s when it sunk in. I’m a blogger who has been touched and astounded by the power of this community over the past two years. I know what it can do.
And that’s something.
So I’m starting small, and I’m sticking to what I know. My vision for this site is to bring the survivor stories of other bloggers to you with the hope that you will see yourself, or your brother, or your daughter, or your neighbor, in their words. With the hope that you will feel safe enough and inspired enough to chime in. With the hope that by the telling and the listening we will all be better people. I know what you people are capable of. I’m here to collect and disseminate your stories of abuse. I’m here to ask you to tell them, to hear them, and to spread the word.
Sure, I still want big things. I want to make a difference. I want to ‘be the change.’ I want to spark awareness and I want to reach you through your computer screen and I want to shake you and show you either that you are not alone, or that you are blind to what is all around you. I have such high hopes. But every big thing needs a beginning. This is ours.
Here is what I’m asking you to do.
1. SPEAK OUT: Tell your story. Read this, and email me at maggie [at] violenceunsilenced [dot] com with questions.
2. TAKE THE PLEDGE: Read the stories of your fellow bloggers. Subscribe to the feed, grab a badge for your sidebar, and add ViolenceUnSilenced to your blogroll and I’ll return the favor on the pledge page.
3. SPREAD THE WORD: Share this post in your Reader, Twitter it, Stumble it, Kirtsy it, Digg it, whatever it is you Internet savvy folks do. There are gazillions of personal blogs out there, and one in four women share this experience. I’d venture to guess a hell of a lot of men do, too.
When you’ve done as many of these things as you can possibly do, drop a comment here and you’ll be entered to win a necklace, the same one I gave away with the Violence UnSilenced naming contest, generously donated by my friend, Elizabeth. It says ‘Peace’ on one side, and on the other (facing a person’s chest) it says ‘at home.’ It is strung on deep purple suede, and valued at $84. It’s pretty awesome.
When Elizabeth sent this necklace to the winner of the naming contest, she surprised me by sending me one, too. I’ve been wearing it, and I hate to part with it, but I’ll happily give it up to one of you for helping me out with this cause.
Speaking of generous women, my friend Samantha — the blogger and wonder designer behind BlogNosh, Don Mills Diva, and of course, Okay, Fine, Dammit — designed the new Violence UnSilenced blog free of charge. She put up with literally hundreds of emails from me, and not only that? She chipped in the domain registration and hosting. I’m incredibly grateful and humbled by her help. If you’d like to show her thanks, be sure and check out her impressive portfolio at Temptation Designs.
Time to cross my fingers and hit publish. Thank you all for the support you’ve already shown this cause. I will post the first survivor story tomorrow, and end the contest one week from today on Monday, February 23.
Here’s to The Beginning.
www.ViolenceUnSilenced.com
****
Cross-posted at Okay, Fine, Dammit
109 Responses to “The Beginning”
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Behind you 1000%
[...] **** I’m closing comments here to keep the contest all in one place, over at the new site. Click here to enter! [...]
I love you Maggie and I love what you’re doing. You’re a strong, thoughtful, beautiful woman and I am proud to call you a friend.
This site means so much – that you’re willing to commit to something that needs FAR more attention than it receives.. to give people a chance to share their voices and get support they may not have.
Thank you for being so selfless and wonderful. I truly hope people take advantage of this resource.
I think you already know how I feel about this project. And as I’ve told you before, anything you need to make it go that I can help with, you just say the word.
And if I can think of it, you don’t even have to do that much.
Way to go Maggie. You’re the best.
God bless you, Maggie.
ReTweet? Check. Email to you with blessings to share my words? Check. Badge? Check. Innernetz Hugz to you? CHECK. I would love to meet you and give you a great big hug in person.
Truly fantastic. I am in awe.
here with you
You are amazing Maggie.
It breaks my heart to see the quick escape button. To know that many who come here will need it.
Maggie – thank you for this. This is amazing.
You are an amazing person, and I know this extended hand of yours will reach many.
Button is on my site.
your email of my experience is coming…… thank you so much for this.
thanks for being a good friend, online and off.
I retweeted…
Congratulations on the launch of this important endeavor!
Maggie, You are doing great work here. I have stumbled, tweeted, taken the pledge, blogrolled you and just let me know what else you need me to do!
Badge added, tweeted, subscribed… if there’s anything I can help with, please don’t hesitate to ask!!!
I am so lucky to have never experienced anything like that, and I feel very sorry for women who do. I will link to your post on my blog post for tomorrow.
Domestic violence has not been part of my life, but I see its effects in the community, in the poverty of women who break away and start over as single moms, still hopeful about their futures. Thank you for providing this space and GOOD LUCK!
Amazing, Maggie. I will absolutely listen. Pledge taken.
I tried—I did My want-to is exceeded only by my ignorance—when I try to “grab the badge” my “add” spot on my blog says “unlawful characters”—which would be funny under other circumstances.
Many bright hopes and much admiration for your heroic, determined, ever-fierce stand on this—some good friends run a shelter, and they also send their applause and deep gratitude.
I think this is an excellent idea.
wonderful thing you’re doing. Too many out there who need a place and a voice…
Right here behind you all the way!
Thank you for this. I can’t begin to say how much this means to me. And today, I needed to hear about this.
I am adding a link to my site and will consider further actions if I can get it together in time for your contest. Thank you for taking the time to put this together.
Looks awesome Maggie (and Sam)! Good for you that you’ve got this up and running; it’s such a worthwhile cause.
Thanks for everything you’re doing- I think it’s amazing.
“I am not an expert. I am not an educator. I am not a counselor”
But you ARE an advocate and that is very powerful tool, especially when you are advocating from experience. I think what you have set out to do is a wonderful thing and I would love to be a part of it.
here
Maggie
Thank you for doing this. I will start spreading the word on my blog and will add a link to this blog. You are amazing!
Good luck – I hope this does a world of good.
Love the site design!
Strength in numbers, M…backing you ALL the way.
OK. I twittered it, I added it to my blogroll, and I will put the badge on my blog as soon as my friend comes over to help because I have no idea how to do the myself.
Maggie, you are awsome. You have my undying love and support.
We can all feel things, but unless we do something, what’s it all for?
Good.on.you!
I am working on the list.
You have my story. I will be putting the badge on my site.
I am off to email a friend, who in a very public story lost her beautiful sister at hands of her gun toting husband, the doctor.
May he rot in the cement hole he now sits in.
Rock on Maggie, Rock on!
Years ago I took care of children whose parents were abusing them (the parents were trying to stop the abuse and were attending Parents Anonymous meetings). Those children had so many serious problems in their young lives. They helped inspire me to create the Priceless Parenting online parenting class so hopefully more parents can learn to raise their kids without hitting, yelling or other types of abuse.
I certainly support your mission to shed light on domestic violence.
You, this, are amazing.
Can I post a badge on my site even if I don’t share a story here?
Congratulations on this great space.
You guys are so amazing! I am so overwhelmed and happy!
@Jennifer H: Yes, you can absolutely post a badge without sharing. In fact, I hope you will. Go over to the “take the pledge” page and you will see a badge code.
I’m lucky enough that I haven’t had much experience with DV or SA. I think that this website is absolutely wonderful. I’ve got the badge up on my blog, and twittered and facebooked the link. Can’t wait to see where this goes and support these victims however I can.
Hey Maggie, and Hey, Visitors to this Site:
I don’t have a story of abuse to tell. I only have a story of good things that have happened to me. But I figure, maybe, a story of no abuse might have a place here too? Because, although stories of pain and anguish and wrongness need to be told? So do stories of peace and comfort and rightness.
For now, though? I will listen.
You are Amazing. What a wonderful thing you’re doing.
Congratulations on getting this up and running, Maggie. May it and you do good work.
What a great thing you are doing here. Thank you for putting together this space.
(The site design looks wonderful, too.)
This is a(nother) beautiful baby you’ve birthed. That necklace makes my heart hurt, I love it so.
you are doing an amazing thing. you deserve a standing ovation!!
The first step is always the hardest. The decision to do something is the first step. Here’s to a great and hope filled journey to what we all can hope will be the end of the need for one. Good, Maggie. It’s good.
You make me proud to be a woman. Simple as that. Thank you for this.
Way to go!!!!
WOOT! WOOT!!
Hi Maggie,
This is fantastic. I am looking forward to fully supporting this cause in any way I can.
Wishing you all the best with this endeavor.
PS- I’m happy to put a blog button on my blog but I seem to be having trouble with the code for all of them. Nothing shows up but a broken link. Anyone else having problems?
You ladies are awesome and then some.
DONE! I have subscribed and put the badge in my sidebar. I love that you are doing this. I am currently being affected by this issue (a family member is in an abusive relationship) so I care very deeply about it.
Thank you for bringing this to the forefront and donating your time to this cause.
I will be adding this to my bloglines, my blogroll and I will get me a badge and post that baby, because this is a wonderful thing you are doing. Giving people a place to share what they have been through and hopefully helping someone is is living the same thing. Good luck with this I hope it is all you hope it to be.
What a wonderful creation, I wish you all the best for it and may it fulfill its potential, and then some
THis is a good thing Maggie! I can’t tell you how proud I am of you! Kepp opening eyes and continue to refuse anything less than what you want in this and it will be an AWESOME outlet for those touched by violence! I am so proud of you!
Chuck
Wonderful, wonderful. I love that you’re doing this. It is…you are…inspirational.
I’ll link this on my next post in my ’swept up’ item and add it to my blogroll.
I put the badge on today (and you already have my story).
Congratulations on this wonderful accomplishment. What a fantastic site you’ve created!
Magdelena- Gandhi said to be the change you want to see in the world, and I think you embody that in so many ways. Thank you thank you for putting one foot in front of the other and not being scared to shine a flashlight in dark places. So proud to know you.:)
I found your page through Mojo at Why? What Have You Heard? Maybe I’ll tell my story some other time! Not up to it right now, but I believe in supporting you in this!!!
I’ve added your banner to my page & added your page to my blog roll – I’m so glad you’re doing this – I wouldn’t have the strength!
I am so blown away I’m speechless. Amazing…
Am present, am listening. Subscribed and badge added to my site.
Congratulations, I know this has been a labor of love.
So very awesome. We will be the change. Voices will be heard. No longer silenced. Thanks for starting this, Maggie. May not have been your childhood dream… but you heard the call… and answered.
Now, let us all be just as willing and brave.
Thank you for doing this. When I was in medical practice, I cared for far too many women who suffered needlessly because they were afraid to speak out (or they thought the cost of speaking out too great)–women from all walks of life, with all levels of education and from all socioeconomic strata. There are many reasons why they stay, and not enough of us behind them to give them reasons to leave.
I’m working on a novel that I hope, besides being a great read, will bring awareness to this problem and open our eyes to the fact that there but for the grace of God go each and every one of us, and we must solve the problem together.
What a wonderful project. I’ve just come across you and have subscribed and taken the pledge. Please don’t enter me in your contest though; I’d feel a little creepy getting prizes for just listening/reading.
done. done. and done.
a victim of domestic violence and rape, i stayed quiet for too long.
rock on, ladies, rock on.
I’m linking. Do you have Entrecard? It can bring you lots of traffic quite quickly.
Also, do you have a badge I could put up on my site?
Never mind. I found it.
[...] thanks to Cary for being my brave first poster. Don’t forget to enter yesterday’s contest, grab a badge for your site (if you had trouble yesterday I believe they are now fixed), and [...]
Hi, I this is an amazing idea. Thank you for putting it together, I have put a badge on my blog and subscribed.
What an amazing idea… such a powerful site. I’ll be linking to you today.
God bless & best wishes in your venture!
You know how yu get goose bumps when something really important is about to happen, or when truth is about to make an appearance in your life? I feel it right here, right now.
This is so great, Maggie.
Thank you.
What an awesome idea. This is going to be powerful.
Congrats on this wonderful new baby you have made – I think you will have many of us volunteering to help out as needed – I know I can offer up some stories of my own.
What a brave thing you are doing and you are reaching out to us all asking us to be brave as well – and i think i am ready now.
Cat
What a great way to harness the power of social networking for a great cause.
I’ve tweeted, facebooked, del.ici.ous-ed blogrolled and added a badge.
It’s been a secret for too long.
I took the badge idea in a little different direction. I’ve got one on my sidebar for sure. But I also created one that fits neatly as a “footer” on individual posts and I’ve added the code for it to every post currently scheduled for the rest of the month. That should get it in front of most of my regulars at some point because most of my regulars are players in one photo meme or another. And any new posts that aren’t scheduled, I’ll just add it as I write them (new ones are usually born from old ones anyway, so it’ll already be there).
I did a similar blitz for BlogBlast For Peace last fall and it seemed to work relatively well.
If anybody else wants to use it, I’ll be happy to share the code and the image. And if the image doesn’t work with your column width or color scheme, it’s not like it takes that long to put one together that will work. So if anybody wants custom, I can provide
Guess I should go investigate this pledge thing , huh?
[...] Violence UnSilenced [...]
Thank you for doing this. I know there are so many people looking for a safe haven to tell their stories and possibly get help. What you are doing is so important.
2 of my girlfriends (that I am aware of) have suffered violent psychological and physical abuse by a spouse. I was unaware of their situations until after the fact, and I swore I would be more alert to the signs in the future. Strong women like you and those who share on your site allow women like me to have the courage to step up when we see something is wrong. My eyes are on another friend of mine now, and I’ve opened my ears, arms, heart and home to her if she decides she should need it. I hope she doesn’t.
Thank you for reminding me to be a proper human being and take care of those I love.
What a wonderful thing this site is, and will be. I have subscribed, taken the pledge and added the badge to my site, and you are also in my blogroll. I wish you much success and I know that this site will help many people.
You’re doing an amazing thing over here. Truly.
You are doing a fabulous thing here. I have subscribed and gotten a badge up on both my blogs and one of my sites. No more hiding in the shadows.
A day late, but badge added and twitter notice sent out!
I don’t want to enter the contest, I just want to thank you for doing this. That necklace is and should be yours, for all you are doing and for all you’ve been through. I am a victim too, and more importantly, a survivor. I just heard about your site from Mojo and I plan to grab your badge (when I figure out how!) and also to post about your site on my own blog. I will tweet about it too as soon as I get back on Twitter!! I wish you all the luck in the world with your site and your mission.
God bless you!
I think this is wonderful and I immediately added this to my blogroll. Good for you!
Tweeted it, shared it in Google, and Took The Pledge/added the button to my sidebar.
And absolutely more than happy to do it all.
You are making a difference. And allowing us to help.
Thank you.
Power to you.
More than happy to forward your blog link.
Thank you so much for doing this.
You have my story. Even without that incentive I would of posted the link on my blog for this one. For far too many years, silence has haunted so many women afraid to tell their story. It’s a small world after all, I was given the link to your blog from another friend Mariah from Manic Mariah. From there it just roller coasted to it’s eventual conclusion. This is a beautiful thing dear friend, you’ve given a voice to so many more than you can imagine. (Hugs)Indigo
This is so awesome.
Good on ya.
You will never know how overjoyed I am to see your site to help others in this hell on earth situation. May these stories bring each of these courage to get out of these situations before it may be too late for them.
I also created a graphic with your site name on my post. I think I will offer it as well as a badge for others to put in their sidebars. This was a great idea of Mojo’s. He is so amazing with his kind heart and wonderful photography as well.
Maggie,
Thank you (and the designer, too) for engineering such an important, groundbrekaing project. I work with survivors of domestic violence — women and children — and I cannot underscore heavily enough the freedom found in unsilencing violence. Words heal. Listeners heal. This endeavor — will heal.
I’ve already added a badge and will promote more widely (within my limited technological means) soon. This is awesome.
P.S. That header image ROCKS.
Chickie? I’m so PROUD of you for having a dream and working to make it happen!
This, you… fabulous. I put you in my sidebar (having a bit of trouble with the button, though…only one would paste in, and even so it’s not showing up) and I’m posting tomorrow. I’ll be sending in my story.
What an awesome idea for a blog – not sure what else to say. Thanks.
[...] is still time to enter Monday’s contest to win the awesome necklace. Don’t forget to enter, and thank you for continuing to spread [...]
This project is incredibly important.
I grabbed the badge and put it on my blog and I will be posting about this site soon.
Thank you for doing this.
Mojo told me about this site… and I must admit I put off visiting for a while.
Because I was scared. Because there are things I don’t want to remember or relive. Because sometimes I am four again.
But Maggie, this site is important, thank you for having it. I took the pledge.
[...] still time to enter Monday’s launch contest, be sure to check it out. New survivor story will post in 15 minutes, and then regularly on Mondays [...]
Finally.
Thank you.
You have my complete support.
I’m so sorry I missed the launch, I was on vacation, but I’ve added you to my blogroll, I’ve twittered it, and I’m going to link to my guest post when it goes up. Here’s my blogroll page
http://jodifur.com/links-page.html
[...] Thanks for your patience waiting for the results of last week’s contest, the ones I said I’d post Monday. I am traveling and my Internet connection is limited [...]
I’ve just found you through the badge on another blog. Words cannot express my feelings at this moment. I have added the badge to my blog and this site to my blogroll. Please check for my email as well.
There is a song by Australian songwriter Paul Kelly,. called From little things big things grow..
I will take the pledge..
cheers kim
[...] Maggie Dammit at Violence Unsilenced with The Beginning. [...]
[...] Maggie Dammit at Violence Unsilenced with The Beginning. [...]
And now, I’ve finally made it to the beginning. I’ve read every story. Thank you all. Every one of you. I can finally write mine.